Volkswagen Beetle... in India

Have you heard the news? Volkswagen Beetle to be launched in India, with a price tag of Rs. 20.45 lakhs (ex-showroom, Delhi).

Would you buy this little (pun definitely intended) piece of metal that looks like 3 semi-circles (discounting the two black full-circles, otherwise called tyres) welded together so beautifully that it could easily the "Cutest car ever" award, if there was one, while also making everyone, men and women alike, fall in love with it, for little over 20 lakhs? I wouldn't. Obviously, 'coz I don't have, in my account, even that "little over" over 20 lakhs.

But what I meant is, (if a fairy came and put Rs. 20.45 lakhs beneath your pillow with a note reading,

Use this money wisely to buy a car (it's a paradox but spare me) and I would return tomorrow to give you more.

Love,

Gossamer Moonglow

(or whatever your fairy is called. I found mine here.) would you?

Granted, it's not exactly 'People's Car' at 20 lakhs. Or maybe that's how the Germans classify(-ied) 'People's Car' as -

No taking your dog for drives. Or bringing laundry back home. Wear your finest suit, take your kids for a drive on Sunday and clean it yourself in your garage the rest of the week. You can't even trust your chauffeur with it.

But jokes apart, if you wanted to spend Rs. 20.45 lakhs, then this car could very well be your wisest choice:

1) It comes with 72-yrs of history, history that every soul on the planet has definitely heard of, if not know it. Now, that's EXACTLY what we want, don't we?

2) You would also be living Hitler's dream (even if only a fraction of it), if you like that perspective. Another vehicle that owes its popularity and development to Hitler (and WWII) would be the Tank. Bug is definitely wiser, wouldn't you think?

3) Small is beautiful. Whereas, other companies only try to punish you for spending 20 lakhs by giving you huge, over-sized boxes, when all you wanted was 4-wheels with a roof.

4) It should be more eco-friendly (compared to the other vehicles you get for 20 lakhs) - smaller, lighter and only a 2L engine.

5) It's a sure head-turner. It's simply so pleasant to look at, that it will make you turn your head, even if you were driving one yourself.

Besides all this, the Beetle will infect everyone with a smile, which is what fairies want - spread happiness (according to my nephew's story book).

CONCLUSION - If your fairy found you, the BEETLE is your car. And I'm going to leave a chocolate under my pillow tonight (just in case fairies love chocolates). Ms. (or Mrs.?) Moonglow, are you reading?

A Wednesday

Traffic in India is bad.. and Hyderabad definitely takes the top spot for rash driving. Driving in Hyderabad is really difficult. AND if you have ever tried to drive here, you must definitely have been warned, "be careful.. some people drive very fast and go bang into others on the road".

The warning came true in my life, just this Wednesday - my first in close to an year and half. Except that, I was the one going fast as crazy. But not my mistake, it was 9am, an empty flyover - i was easily doing 70. This guy, let's say Tughlaq (apparently going to a gym in the other side of the city at 9am on a weekday) on an Activa was driving on the rightmost end of the road at 30 maybe and suddenly decided to come left after I blew the horn. There was another bike on my left and a collision was inevitable. He couldn't control his rear tyre slipping, fell down, blocking my way and I fell too. (I'm guessing he pressed both brakes hard thinking it would save him from falling.) End result, both of us were pretty badly hurt - him more than me actually.

I have always believed that "Speed doesn't kill, insanity does". While going that fast might sound insane to a few, it wasn't actually. Going slow on the right side of an empty road is insane according to me. But there was my mistake too. While I do that speed almost everyday on that road, on Wednesday my mind wasn't there. I was riding, kind of, sub-consciously and didn't notice his moments until too late.

I had my helmet, jacket, shoes on though. So, even though I had a much worser fall than him, I was relatively less injured. I have got bandages on my left ankle, left knee and both wrists, and lots of minor scratches on both legs. Obviously, no more bike or car atleast for another week. But him, he didn't wear his helmet and got hurt on the face and jaws, apart from the hands and legs.

Moral of the story -

1. "Wear your helmet - Always."

2. "Don't go too fast. One idiot on the road who doesn't follow the same traffic rules as you, and your life could change in a second."

3. "If you think someone is right next to you or might even collide with you, then try to go faster. Don't even think of braking."

How about a 3-wheel drive Nano?

The article One for the common man was published in The Hindu on October 6, 2009. If you don't feel like going through the entire article, here is the summary - author feels Nano is a great car and it is just like when the first 800 was launched in India. It's an article I completely disagree with as I don't think there is anything that exciting about Nano as has been hyped, for multiple reasons:

1. It's not really 1-lac. If you want something that can be called a car and not a metal box, you need to pay much more.

2. It's looks silly with its diminutive design and 12-inch wheels.

3. In this age of iCrap when 2-lacs isn't really much money, its pointless, infact harmful, to create a Nano. It's better to invest in building a 1-lac Harley Davidson than a Nano.

Anyway, coming back to the article, here are a few statements that I just have to comment on.

"it’s a rear-engined, rear-wheel-drive car... if you want the tail to step out, you will be disappointed" - Ofcourse! It's not Porsche Nano, it's TATA NANO.

"you have to wait nearly half-a-minute to see 100kph on the speedo" - Nano reaches 100kmph :O

"The Nano can seat five people comfortably... The 800 just about squeezes in four" - Really? My eyes must be deceiving me. And for the record, 800 seats 5 comfortably. But if you are an Indian, you definitely would know that even 6 people can be squeezed into an 800. Infact, I'm sure in the near future you would see 6 in the Nano too (only if the Nano is able to pull them, ofcourse).

"What’s more is that men in their Audis will stop to check out a car that costs a little more than two Audi side mirrors" - They must have stopped just to check that they don't kill the poor little puppy. If at all they were interested in the Nano, such Audi customers should be sued and shot to death.

"The Nano is the new status symbol" - Please, I can't stand it any more.

"The M800’s 796cc engine develops 39bhp. The Nano is not far off — the 624cc engine developing 35bhp" - What are we comparing here? A bullock-cart to an older bullock-cart?

"Why does the Nano catch more eyeballs per km than even the Ferraris did on their Magic Tour of India?" - It's because of idiots like him (and me).

Honestly, it is definitely worth more buying 3 bikes in lieu of the Nano. You would have a 150cc x 3 front-engined, rear wheel drive vehicle(s) with a collective power of 13.3 x 3 bhp (you beat the 800, yay!) and can also seat 6 comfortably (one more than the 800!). What more, you could go for a drive on 2-wheels, 4-wheels or even 6-wheels - a luxury even BMW doesn't offer yet. Added to all this, you also get greater resale value and it would be WAY MORE FUN.

The Slow and Dangerous

Man proposes, God disposes. Especially if it is me. I left office at 7.30 thinking I would reach home early today. And then I found myself in a incredibly traffic packed road and one hell of a ride back home with a little bit of (mis)adventure as well in between.

Distance: 18km

Time: 2 hrs

Road: Tar, Sand cum Water

It was a once in a lifetime experience.. and once you experience it, you would do anything to NOT experience it again. It was raining heavily and traffic was crawling.. infact even a baby could crawl faster than that. And thank god, I wasn't in a car... I would never have had the patience to sit through that traffic. It wasn't anywhere near quick even on a bike though.

But I had fun dipping my legs in the water and trying to feel the weightlessness.. kiddish, ain't it? A little ahead, the traffic policemen were diverting all traffic to the left and blocked the road ahead. I obviously wasn't going to be scared of a little pool of water so I avoided him and went straight ahead and THUMP! My bike got into a big pothole.

The front tyre went in and came out but the rear tyre refused to. I accelerated a lot but it just kept slipping. The policeman came upto and started shouting at me, saying "What are we here for? Wasn't I telling you." I got off the bike and found myself in more than knee-deep water. I tried to lift the bike with one hand while I balanced it with the other and surprisingly, I did it. It was probably buoyancy but I felt like Sylvestar Stallone for a moment. And while I hopped on the bike and accelerated again, I heard the policeman saying, "You are lucky."

All in all, amazing ride. And it also is testimony to a quotation of mine which I haven't yet published on my blog..

"Speed doesn't kill, insanity does."

My Fastest

17.5km -- 20 min

Cyberspace to Gandhinagar

Date: 5th Feb, 2009

Started at office at mid-night and reached home by 12.20am (of 6th Feb). Beat that!!!

185km -- 3 hrs

Kodada (on Vijayawada Highway) to Gandhinagar (in the heart of the city)

Date: 14th January, 2009

Left at 4pm, reached home by 7pm.

The Biker Theories

Everyday I have to go to office, its takes me anywhere between 30min to an hour, one way, to get there. Now, thats an awful lot of "idle" time to just sit and ride. So, I also do the one thing that I enjoy most and the only thing that I have done in my entire life - do nothing, just think. I let my mind wander and, everyday it stretches the limits of where-the-thoughts-could-possibly-go-to, generally in the philosophical space.

Now, they say "An idle brain is the Devil's workshop" but who knows, maybe the Devil is a great artist. Atleast, I like to believe the Devil in me is. It is on the bike that I've come up with some of my best "theories", the latest of which is The Bike-Life relationship. It's a simple theory, that there is much that can be learnt from a bike ride and applied to your life.

The common notion among people is that life is laid out in front of you, like a road. You have to wait till the end to see what destiny has in store of you. It's like saying, life is a race-track and destiny is your chequered flag - just wait till you meet it and then move on till you meet the next one.

But, I think it's a little different. Infact, a lot different. Life isn't the road but it's your bike. It's in your hands and you must learn to take control of it. The road itself is the riding zone. You don't know what's going to come next and that's destiny. It makes the drive more interesting. There will be pit-falls to avoid and the shortcuts, which you can take with a little advance planning. Now, who put them there? Theists answer, God did it all, and atheists say its just luck or chance. At the end of the day, all that matters to you is how well you can chart out your life-story. There is more to it. The very idea of existance isn't like a race-track but more like the cruise mode in the city (obviously without the map!).

1. There is no start line and there is no finish line either. You just keep driving till you have fuel left.

2. Everybody starts at a different place and ends at a different place. The path you took is your history and in your hands, is the vehicle to create your future.

3. There is bound to be a very flashy looking car on either side of you thats going make your head turn. And getting jealous is just human. But I bet, even he desires some other car on the road and the chain goes on. At the end of the chain, is the guy in the most-desired car, but even he is still jealous. He is looking towars the skies.

4. It's important to learn from mistakes, but not necessarily your own. Look not only at the vehicle in front of you, but also try to judge the road by his ride.

5. And, beware of pitfalls - especially if you drive in Hyderabad or live your life anywhere in the world. 

6. It's inevitable to have a rough ride and when you are having one, learn to stand-up and loosely hold the handle. Tougher and riskier, it may seem, but it's going out to cushion out much of the roughness. You have got to develop your reflexes that way. And anyway, the bike-stunts have their own appeal which are known only to those who experience them.

7. Risk is part and parcel of existance. Every moment of your ride is a risk. And risk implies a possibility of failure. But when you do fail - RELAX. It's not the end of the world. Pick-up your bike and get going again. Most probably, its a just a stalled engine or sometimes not even that.

8. For sure, you must have come across some big guys who block your road and slow you down. You want to crush them like cockroaches but you can't, because they are the size of frozen Godzillas. The don't move and every time they try to take a step, they seem to kill people. I'm talking of the buses and trucks.

9. While there is a commonly accepted right-way and wrong-way, in reality, there is no right or wrong. It's just one big grey road. And, it's OK to break the so-called 'rule' but only as long as you are able to realistically make sure that you don't get into a mess. Learn to brake hard and control a slide (I learnt it the hard way). It comes in handy a lot of times. Better slow than mess it up.

10. Slow and steady does infact win the race. However unbelievable and against-plain-logic it may sound, it still holds true. I haven't yet been able to fully comprehend WHY?, but I have already mentioned in one of my earlier posts about how I used to take the same time of time to reach office on the Yamaha (on which I easily reached 80kmph) and the new Unicorn (which I never pushed beyond 60kmph). This holds very true for life as well, especially in the long run. But remember the keyword - "STEADY".

Now comes the controversial part.

11. Girls are lousy drivers. No! This is true, and it's a fact - Girls are lousy drivers. But, what's controversial is that they cause most of the accidents. While they never will accept that they are responsible for most of the accidents, its still true. If their lousy driving skills cause half the damage, they themselves and their dressing style cause the other half.

So much do I think on the way to office everyday that I treat it like my daily horoscope. Will I have a pleasant day or will someone mess it up for me? So next time I'm late somewhere, blame it all on my Beautiful Mind, the bloody Indian traffic and ofcourse - the Girls.

Boxster

On my way to office today, I saw her.. she was a beauty... a show-stopper... she stood low and her black soft-top was up. And when she moved, she moved with elegance - steady; commanding dignity and attracting attention from every direction... only way she could have attracted any more attention (if only) would have been with her top down. A real head-turner and accident-causer (remember our Bollywood movies, the girl is shown walking, and the guys start falling off their bikes? That pretty much was my case today.)

She was black and looked very sporty, even with that black soft-top. Those who know me well would have guessed right at the start, that I was talking about a car. And with a soft-top she would be a convertible. But she wasn't just any convertible, she was the Porsche Boxster. Now I doubt if I can call her a "she" as Porsche makes sporty-looking, macho cars. But then, every guy loves a Porsche... I guess, that makes them feminine.

Anyway, continuing with the story, the kid driving that car seemed younger than me and had a frown on his face (possibly from the previous night's hangover). And he suddenly floored the accelerator (or maybe just flicked his ankle a little) and off he went away... couldn't even catch a glimpse of it in the rear-view mirror. That definitely must have brought a smile to his face.

Now, there is only a thin line that differentiates the good from the bad, competitiveness from jealousy, dreams from desires - And a Porsche makes you want to cross that line. Currently I am desparate for a Porsche and am ready to do anything. Somebody tell me what to do.

The fall of The Mighty - Twice!!

No confusions about that, I AM The Mighty. And what happened was my bike skidded twice on the same day, but both the times I managed to get away unhurt. But my bike lost its rear-view mirror. :(

The day before yesterday, i.e., Monday, the 8th day of September, (the Indian counterpart of - thats me) Valentino Rossi got on his Yamaha (thats my Honda Unicorn), warmed up his Yamaha and prepared to race on the world's toughest race track - Hyderabad roads - in the rain.

Take 1: Vroom, vroom.. In the parking, at the top of the 40m slope overlooking the Deloitte exit gate.. Vrooooom.. Take a good look at the gate down the short straight.. Put the bike into first gear, accelerate to 10, jump to gear 2.. speed is 25, move to gear 3.. Ohh! Speed breaker ahead.. Apply both, front and back, brakes in the ratio 75-25.. SREEECHH, BAMMM, SCREeeeeech.. I'm now doing water-gliding rather than biking.. Damn!! That's like crashing in the pit-stop even before the start of the race..

Take 2: Even after the fall in take 1, I was driving in my normal style.. Two turns and 300m away from the chequered flag (thats my home), I was racing at 50kmph in 5th Gear, obviously first (in the single-driver race).. Traffic ahead..  A Santro brakes hard on the other lane. The cycle behind him detours into the opposite side straight into me.. Brake hard (front:back::75:25).. Screech to a halt, but with the bike lying flat on the ground.. Damn, yet another fall.

The common mistake: Applying Front Brakes on slippery ground.. First time, it was the slippery tiles on the slope.. second time, it was sand on the road.. You can control the bike when the back tyre locks and skids.. You get an extra split second before you fall and within this time, you can release the brakes and save yourself.. But when the front tyre locks and skids, the next thing you know you are down.. I guess, you must release the brakes and push your weight in the direction of the skid (because that will be opposite the direction of your fall).. So, if your front tyre skids to the right, the Center of Mass moves moves towards the left, and you (along with the bike) fall towards the left.. So you must push your weight towards the right.. but, I wasn't able to put this theory to practical use the two times i fell.. May you have more luck :)

Finding the quickest lane on Hyderabad's roads

Roads are demarcated into lanes.. In India, protocol is, the lanes are progressively faster towards the right.. Hyderabad however is an exception.. I bet even Rossi wouldn't be able to beat any Hyderabadi, partly due to the traffic and partly due to the lack of rules.. but having traveled over 700km in the past 4 weeks, I realised Hyderabadi traffic isn't as chaotic as made out to be by the media and outsiders.. the reality is that we do follow rules, the catch being, we make our own rules and then follow them..

In Hyderabad, just as everywhere else, there are two extremes of drivers..
1) the first kind will not change the lane.. by Darwin's theory of "Survival of the Fittest", they have realised that they are safest on the right-most lane.. hence, however fast or slow they may be driving, they will not change the lane.. the best examples of this species would be the RTC buses and the tempo-long autos with trailers.. they generally wouldn't be troubling you if you ride outside their lane..
2) the second kind are those that cannot stick to a lane for more than 50m.. even at midnight when all roads are empty, you can see them shifting lanes.. this species is rare and generally consists of bikers on shiny, new Pulsars, Apaches and now the R15s.. you don't have to worry about them in traffic either because they go as fast as they come.. just hold your line and speed, and trust HIM (HIM not referring to God, but to the other biker.. just believe that he knows how to ride his bike, because over half the times he does.. only rest of the times, its his meaner and younger brother who is still learning..)

Anyway, coming back.. Riding on the fastest lane in Hyderabad does not imply you are the quickest.. you are just lost in the traffic.. but in the midst of all this chaotic driving, you find that there is an underlying order to it.. so to ride safely and reach your destination faster, all you need to do is to follow the following tips ;) :

1) RULE No. 1: DO NOT FOLLOW THE RULES.. as far as possible "follow their opposite".. I am not kidding, its true.. everyone likes to travel on the fastest lane, so much so that its no more the fastest.. this also leads to overtaking maneuvers from the left, because there is no place left to the right.. you find that the left-most lane is left empty while everyone is battling it out on the faster lanes.. just take the leftmost lane and you can sometimes even reach upto 70kmph and easily beat out the traffic.. try it sometime.. Trying out the above tip might be difficult since long, straight, wide roads are scarce in Hyderabad, except in Jubilee Hills and Madhapur area.. but you try something similar in any turn.. the whole traffic is concentrated near the bend that if you take the longest curve, you can easily beat the entire traffic.. besides, you can also go faster, and bend more on your bike, thus giving you more riding pleasure..

2) RULE No. 2: Try to avoid the traffic.. you will find that there is a lot of unused road-space.. at many a bottle-neck region (such as at almost every turn), the problem is not that the road is getting thinner but that all the vehicles were simply cramming themselves into only a fraction of the road.. I will give you a real life scenario.. a car-driver on the right-most lane has to turn left.. he even has the indicator ON, but the biker behind him wants to overtake him.. as is the norm in Hyderabad, you need to overtake from the left.. so the biker cuts across all the lanes along with the car and almost ends up taking the left-turn himself before finally managing to get past the car.. along the process, the car-driver is confused which direction the biker would like to take and for the traffic behind, they all cram themselves into the left-most lane.. only few of the drivers take the lane just cleared by the car, and enjoy the long stretch of empty road.. try it sometime - you will find that such hiccups will also lead to empty lanes on the left, a little ahead..

And remember, there is no alternative to practising slalom racing..

Faster does not necessarily mean quicker

Last friday, somebody told me a story.. It was about 2 drivers, Ram and Kishan.. both of them were excellent drivers.. Ram could take you from location A to location B in only 2hr 30min as compared to the 3hr taken by everyone else.. while he achieved this feat, he also made you regain the faith in God.. Kishan however would drive far more smoothly and guess what, he would take only 2hr 15min.. there was no moral to the story so I made one -- "Faster does not necessarily mean quicker."

For the first two-three weeks after joining Deloitte, I used to come to the office on (my brother-in-law's) Yamaha RX 135.. For those who haven't ridden it, its a wonderful bike.. awesome acceleration, exceptionally light and agile.. (its so light, that even a Super Splendour seems heavy compared to it..) later I took my Unicorn.. it was like a truck compared to the Yamaha.. and the acceleration was lower as well.. besides that, I was asked not to ride faster than 40 (although I did about 60) and not to rev the engine too much, not to accelerate or brake too hard and not to do that and not to do this.. basically to drive it as smoothly as I possibly could.. I used to take 35min to reach office (about 18km) everyday on the Yamaha and on the Unicorn, "You guessed it!!" I still took only 35min, maybe a minute more or less.. the moral of the story? "Faster does not necessarily mean quicker. You have got to maintain that speed."

the fact was that, on the Yamaha, I was decelerating as much as I was accelerating.. It gave me more pleasure riding it, but I wasn't gaining any time.. because I was concentrated more on squeezing between the traffic.. but on the Unicorn, even though I was definitely slower, I was maintaining a constant speed for much longer times because I was trying to make it a smoother ride.. How to find that quicker (not faster) lane on Hyderabad's roads - I will discuss in the next blog..

Getz Vs City

Its early Tuesday morning. It had rained a little yesterday night.. The night was cold but not chilly... And morning everything seemed normal.. another perfect day.. Nothing seemed to have changed from yesterday..
Its a working day, so I had to go to work.. I thought I would get ready early, but I was late nevertheless.. My Unicorn's insurance papers were not yet done, so I had to take my Yamaha RX 135 to work instead.. (as much as I love the Yamaha.. I would have loved to ride the Unicorn today.. first long trip on the Unicorn since I bought it last Saturday)

It was around 9am and I was near KBR park.. cutting across the traffic to reach office quicker, or should I say to reduce the amount of time I was going to be delayed.. there was enough office-going traffic on the roads to negate the fact that the roads near the KBR park are some of the widest in hyderabad (if i remember correct, its a 4-lane road).. everyone is moving at a speed of not more than 30 (except ofcourse the bikers who make their own zig-zag lanes at 60 kmph). On my way to the office, I saw a Hyundai Getz.. The only thing that was not normal about it was that it had wider tyres.. it had been modified.. Other than that it seemed like just another Getz.. But soon he unleashed the power in it, and Vrooooom... WHAT ACCELERATION!! But even more, WHAT A DRIVER!! Here was a driver, who was on the left-most lane, overtaking a bus (from the left, as is the mutually understood norm in Hyderabad) and then immediately cuts across all the lanes and overtakes an auto (from the right this time).. He then overtakes the Honda City in front, and then cuts left but decides mid-way to stay in the lane coz the traffic signal was still red.. If you remember Stella Bredger's (played by Charlize Theron) entrance in the movie The Italian Job (the remake made in 2003), you shouldn't have much difficulty visualizing what I'm saying.. The way she drives her Mini Cooper cuttinjg across lanes made us (atleast me) look at the silver screen with a feeling of awe, especially coz the camera was mounted on a Helicopter and the aerial view looked terrific.. But the driving I saw today was no less amazing..

Now, here is what I believe (atleast till today)... At a traffic signal, the bikes have an advantage over the cars.. the cars, for sure, have more power by all stats but the bikes easily beat them.. only when you have a long enough roam can the cars catch up.. and when it comes to bikes, the 2-stroke bikes easily beat the 4-stroke engined bikes for the first 100-200m.. And of all the 2-stroke bikes, none are better remembered than the Yamaha RX 100 and RX135 for their sheer acceleration through the first 2 gears..

so back to my story.. I was at the signal, behind the Getz and the City.. I was pretty sure I could beat them both easily.. The signal turned green.. A few bikes in the front raced away and the cars, buses and autos were slowly accelerating onto the clear stretch of road.. The moment he got a little bit of space in front of him, the Getz driver took off... For a few metres it seemed like I could overtake him if I had a little more space, but after that I gave-up that hope.. One, I was unable to match his acceleration and deceleration, and two, he was just far too quick in manouvering and rash for me to chase him..

He accelerated to 20, cut left, accelerated to , cut left again, overtook the vehicle in front and then cut right, overtake 2 vehicles - one on either side, and cut right again.. braked hard almost down to a halt.. accelerated again, cut left 2 lanes at one go and brakes again very hard.. what a scene.. i was literally dumbstruck by his driving.. what kind of an idiot would drive so rashly, especially on the roads of Hyderabad (which is famous for having some of the most reckless drivers).. or maybe he was one of the drivers that made Hyderabadi traffic famous (or infamous)..

Just visualise the way the Getz driver was driving and now imagine what it would have been to see two such cars racing on the road.. Yes, TWO.. the City was chasing the Getz this time.. At first, I thought the City driver was trying to maintain with the Getz so that he could cut through traffic easily, but he was racing with him.. for an automobile freak like me, that was pure bliss.. but for the others driving on that road, I bet they wanted to park their vehicles to the side.. i tried to chase the 2 cars (just for the fun of it), but i could clearly see them getting away (even through all that traffic).. having followed Formula 1 for the past 4 yrs or so, I know that much depends on the driver, but much more depends on the car.. only now am I beginning to comprehend how powerful these latest generation cars are.. and if this is the case with a Honda City, what about the BMWs and the Porsches.. and then what about the Bugatti Veyron.. NO COMMENTS!!