Letter to Diro (just for laughs)

I found this letter, which I had written on 24 September 2006, lying in my mailbox. It was originally meant only for fun (and it still is) and circulated only within the core group. Thought I should post it on my blog and save it for eternity. :) This is the original version, all the grammatical mistakes exist as-is.

----------------------------------------------------------

Dear Diro,

   We, from the team of THE ENTREPRENEURSHIP CELL, IIT Bombay are proud to announce IDEAZ has successfully completed one more year of its life (which seems to be short, considering the views of Prof. Amarnath :P )

   The IDEAZ competition was succesful, in every sense. The competition included workshops in all IITs, or was planned to include workshops in all IITs. But, the authorities there proved to be more useless than at our IIT. They didn't even allow US to invite a speaker to talk to THEIR students for NO COST at all. On this day, I am really proud to be a student of IIT Bombay. Atleast, here we are only expected to accompany our coordies to the Shack Phone Booth (then y do i keep a coodie. I wud as well make the call myself). Also, the concern the institute takes over our personal health is hugely inspiring. Keeping in view the environment concerns, we are have been "requested, not forced" to not keep any motorised vehicles. But we are welcome to travel in the Tum Tums (which seem to take a tourist ride through the institute) The Tum Tums are really available only when there are no students are going to their classes. This initiative has hugely brought down the traffic concerns over the "narrow and congested" roads of IIT Bombay.

   Coming back to IDEAZ, a workshop was organised in almost all the departments. And the enthu shown by the Profs for the same has truly been awesome. However, the students seemed to have faced a little difficulty in attending them, cause the timings clashed with their Mess timings ( :P ). This was like a boon to the team, as we then got the opportunity to attend the workshops which were otherwise expected to be jampacked. The whole team, especially the coordies, got to(read 'were forced to') attend the all the workshops from CS to Meta. I would like to share a few events with you. In one workshop the Prof. spoke about the entrepreneurial opportunities in his department. His session was particularly enlightening, and I would remember it for whole of my life, cause that was the day, I got to know how the number of people hired (in manufacturing, R&D and few other shitty areas) has varied from 1965 to 1995. Another incident involved a Prof. speaking (fluently) for only 1hr and 20 min (of his scheduled 30 min), but ending with a "Don't listen to people like me who are themselves very confused in life."

   The entire 2 months (and a zillion posters, banners, flexes, flashes) also involved humorous incidents where posters were torn, and fights settled over which third of the notice board belonged to whom. It was particularly pleasing to see the Inst. Cult. body, fighting for their "zeroeth" part of the board. Being the director of this truly awesome(i truly believe this.) institute, I would like to invite you to give away the prizes to the winners.

Thanking You,

The Ecell team,

P.S. I hope everyone in your family stays fine, and that your son doesn't get slip and fall into the swimming pool, get hit on the elbow by a football. Cause, this institute would luk a little awkward with a "Swimming Banned" notice.

Also, please pass on the following msg to ur son from our side. "Dear Son, watching porn on the LAN is very bad. Please note that the quest for your enjoyment could end our only means of enjoyment."

'Those who condemn politics to be the last resort of a scoundrel are 

bound to be ruled by scoundrels' - Plato

----------------------------------------------------------

Inside Man (2006)

Mad it may sound, but its true. After I wrote in one of my previous posts (Guys and Gals) how insanely some girls idolized SRK, one of my friends felt I was criticizing and stopped talking to me. I could say "I'm more than justified, now definitely", but I will just say I only meant it in a As-a-matter-of-fact-ly way.

To prove my innocence, I will also leave a "feels-great-to-know" fact - the song "Chaiyya Chaiyya" was used in the Soundtrack of the 2006-film Inside Man. I think I just have made someone's day - sales of Inside Man DVD is going to skyrocket in the next couple of days.

For the rest of us lesser mortals (read non-SRK fans) and the Satans amongst us (read SRK-loathers), there is still reason to watch Inside Man - check out IMDB.

P.S. This post doesn't count towards Personal Life, it's only a fact/critique about Inside Man (and definitely not girls and SRK, if you believe me).

Guys and Gals

A friend of mine recently told me, its been ages since I criticized girls on blog. Then it must be ages since I wrote too.

In light of recent events, when literally every line of mine was misunderstood, I find it necessary to put a Disclaimer before I begin.

Disclaimer: I’m no misogynist. Just like it pretending to be one, I guess. Besides, those who know me well will vouch for me that I don’t really mean all things I say, especially bad things. I’m the kind of guy who says “Get lost, I never want to see you again” followed immediately by “I will pick you up at 10 tomorrow, be ready”.

So if you cannot read something and forget it if you don’t like it, then you better not read further (and I mean it).

---

1. They run the show, from behind the scenes.

Yesterday I was having two independent conversations with a close friend of mine (S) and his GF (B). Below is how the conversation went:

ME: So S is coming to Hyd this weekend?

B: Yes, but he said he will meet you and won’t have time to meet me.

(Yeah, right. Last 4 times he was here, he didn’t meet me.)

ME: I’m recovering now. Maybe we can all go for a movie. Avatar 3D or Valentine’s Day should be good.

B: We have seen Avatar, but he wants to see it again in 3D. Ask him, he is the deciding authority. And you should treat us.

ME: Why?

B: Because you have recovered.

ME: (can’t say NO to a girl now, can I?) eh? Sure.

(Simultaneously I was also chatting with S.)

ME: Shall we go for a movie this sat?

S: Wait, let me confirm. (After a while) Yes, noon should be nice.

ME: I am desperate to watch Avatar in 3D. Let’s go?

S: Yeah, I want to see it 3D too this time. Let me confirm. (After a while) She says we have already seen Avatar. Let’s go for Valentine’s Day this time.

ME: hmm

(Back to B.)

ME: so did you speak to S?

B: No, evening time. he would be in his gym.

ME: then who told him about Valentine’s Day?

B: Does he say, let’s go for Valentine’s Day rather than Avatar? Wait, let me speak to him.

ME: (BLANK)

What more can I say. (Actually I have given above only excerpts from the conversation to fit the context. But I can tell you, I actually found B to be very sweet.)

---

2. Every confrontation will end with them having the last word, “You are wrong” or “I like you”.

Like... she isn’t avoiding you. Just dealing with you has become difficult, so… Besides, you are wrong… and she likes you.

---

3. If she is a girl, she idolizes SRK. And this has changed the dynamics of many a relationship, more so post-MNIK.

If you are in a party and want the hottest girl on the floor to be interested in you, your best pick-up line would now be:

Guy: Hi, My Name is Khan. (even better if you can say Kk..kk.. Khan)

Gal: wowwww.... really?

Guy: and i have Asperger’s Syndrome too....

Gal : that is so cool.

Brighter side of this infatuation? We (guys) now have one simple line to make HER to break-up with us (which also keeps our sensitive side happy by not having had to hurt her) - “My Name is NOT Khan”.

The distressing side? Time is short. He is supposed to be superhero in his next movie. So, unless you can shoot webs, fly, jump buildings, I don’t think we have got a chance.

---

Random quotations (ofcourse all are my original, so – DISCLAIMER applies)

- They say Man evolved, what about women?

- Behind every successful man, there is a woman. I say, look closely and you will find more than one.

Apple iPad (Continued)

The iPad won't sell in Bengal. Why?
Because they wouldn't know it's something new. They'd think it's the iPod.

And this comes from Sayesha.

Apple iPad (Updated)

The best example of what happens when you beat market expectations too many times.

As with all Apple products, there was a lot of hype prior to the launch and a lot of talk post it. In short - a lot of free media coverage. But what iPad got extra is, and I bet Jobs didn't expect this, countless parodies - beginning from the "no-brainer" iTampon tweets to elaborate videos (animation included).

After watching a short 4-min clip of Jobs unveiling the iPad, my first reaction was... Not about the iPad, but about Jobs - must say, he seems to have lost a bit of his charm. But what could he possibly do if all his research team could come up with is an oversized iPod Touch.

But who cares about the original keynotes. Here are some light-hearted (but true?) takes on the iPad.

How many 'Phenomenal's is the iPad ?

The Touch atleast fits in your pocket. How do you carry the iPad? (via Joy of Tech)

The Verdict? (This one is H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.)

All said, all those parodies, and comparisons to competitions amount to nothing. I still think, the iPad is a game changer. Its mere presence in the market will push benchmarks higher and also bring in more worthy competition, iPad 2.0 included. And atleast as long as Jobs is alive, Apple would definitely hold the 'WoW' factor - I'm sure it would be a worthy competitor by all measures - sales, most importantly.

Volkswagen Beetle... in India

Have you heard the news? Volkswagen Beetle to be launched in India, with a price tag of Rs. 20.45 lakhs (ex-showroom, Delhi).

Would you buy this little (pun definitely intended) piece of metal that looks like 3 semi-circles (discounting the two black full-circles, otherwise called tyres) welded together so beautifully that it could easily the "Cutest car ever" award, if there was one, while also making everyone, men and women alike, fall in love with it, for little over 20 lakhs? I wouldn't. Obviously, 'coz I don't have, in my account, even that "little over" over 20 lakhs.

But what I meant is, (if a fairy came and put Rs. 20.45 lakhs beneath your pillow with a note reading,

Use this money wisely to buy a car (it's a paradox but spare me) and I would return tomorrow to give you more.

Love,

Gossamer Moonglow

(or whatever your fairy is called. I found mine here.) would you?

Granted, it's not exactly 'People's Car' at 20 lakhs. Or maybe that's how the Germans classify(-ied) 'People's Car' as -

No taking your dog for drives. Or bringing laundry back home. Wear your finest suit, take your kids for a drive on Sunday and clean it yourself in your garage the rest of the week. You can't even trust your chauffeur with it.

But jokes apart, if you wanted to spend Rs. 20.45 lakhs, then this car could very well be your wisest choice:

1) It comes with 72-yrs of history, history that every soul on the planet has definitely heard of, if not know it. Now, that's EXACTLY what we want, don't we?

2) You would also be living Hitler's dream (even if only a fraction of it), if you like that perspective. Another vehicle that owes its popularity and development to Hitler (and WWII) would be the Tank. Bug is definitely wiser, wouldn't you think?

3) Small is beautiful. Whereas, other companies only try to punish you for spending 20 lakhs by giving you huge, over-sized boxes, when all you wanted was 4-wheels with a roof.

4) It should be more eco-friendly (compared to the other vehicles you get for 20 lakhs) - smaller, lighter and only a 2L engine.

5) It's a sure head-turner. It's simply so pleasant to look at, that it will make you turn your head, even if you were driving one yourself.

Besides all this, the Beetle will infect everyone with a smile, which is what fairies want - spread happiness (according to my nephew's story book).

CONCLUSION - If your fairy found you, the BEETLE is your car. And I'm going to leave a chocolate under my pillow tonight (just in case fairies love chocolates). Ms. (or Mrs.?) Moonglow, are you reading?

The Prestige - Movie Review

This is the review I began writing on Friday, 13th of April in 2007 and didn't touch again after. It's definitely not the final version, but I don't remember how I meant to finish it. I'm not even going to give it a try now.

----------------

There was a central theme, which though very unrealistic, still left you wondering. That is why, I would rate "The Prestige" as the THE BEST MOVIE ever.

Unlike other movies, like say "The Departed", which are completelly void of any theme, yet leave you feeling that it was a great movie, even though you truly don't feel anything at the end of it.

However, "The Prestige" simply left you wondering. But such movies will not be appreciated as much as they deserve to be, because the audience only want to leave with the feeling of having watched

something spectacular, something extraordinary, and feeling complete. That is just the irony of life. The irony existing in this world. "A shining copper piece is better than a dusty Gold coin"

But, had the director completely understood this irony and tried to make a movie that left the audience feeling FULL and Complete, to receive the full appreciation it deserves,

then the movie wouldn't have been completely deserving anymore, even if it may have received many awards. That just completes the Vicious Circle.

And, due to this Vicious Circle, Best is not better.

----------------

I like these two quotations from the review above -

A shining copper piece is preferred to a dusty Gold coin

and

Best is not always better.

How about a 3-wheel drive Nano?

The article One for the common man was published in The Hindu on October 6, 2009. If you don't feel like going through the entire article, here is the summary - author feels Nano is a great car and it is just like when the first 800 was launched in India. It's an article I completely disagree with as I don't think there is anything that exciting about Nano as has been hyped, for multiple reasons:

1. It's not really 1-lac. If you want something that can be called a car and not a metal box, you need to pay much more.

2. It's looks silly with its diminutive design and 12-inch wheels.

3. In this age of iCrap when 2-lacs isn't really much money, its pointless, infact harmful, to create a Nano. It's better to invest in building a 1-lac Harley Davidson than a Nano.

Anyway, coming back to the article, here are a few statements that I just have to comment on.

"it’s a rear-engined, rear-wheel-drive car... if you want the tail to step out, you will be disappointed" - Ofcourse! It's not Porsche Nano, it's TATA NANO.

"you have to wait nearly half-a-minute to see 100kph on the speedo" - Nano reaches 100kmph :O

"The Nano can seat five people comfortably... The 800 just about squeezes in four" - Really? My eyes must be deceiving me. And for the record, 800 seats 5 comfortably. But if you are an Indian, you definitely would know that even 6 people can be squeezed into an 800. Infact, I'm sure in the near future you would see 6 in the Nano too (only if the Nano is able to pull them, ofcourse).

"What’s more is that men in their Audis will stop to check out a car that costs a little more than two Audi side mirrors" - They must have stopped just to check that they don't kill the poor little puppy. If at all they were interested in the Nano, such Audi customers should be sued and shot to death.

"The Nano is the new status symbol" - Please, I can't stand it any more.

"The M800’s 796cc engine develops 39bhp. The Nano is not far off — the 624cc engine developing 35bhp" - What are we comparing here? A bullock-cart to an older bullock-cart?

"Why does the Nano catch more eyeballs per km than even the Ferraris did on their Magic Tour of India?" - It's because of idiots like him (and me).

Honestly, it is definitely worth more buying 3 bikes in lieu of the Nano. You would have a 150cc x 3 front-engined, rear wheel drive vehicle(s) with a collective power of 13.3 x 3 bhp (you beat the 800, yay!) and can also seat 6 comfortably (one more than the 800!). What more, you could go for a drive on 2-wheels, 4-wheels or even 6-wheels - a luxury even BMW doesn't offer yet. Added to all this, you also get greater resale value and it would be WAY MORE FUN.

The Best of Worlds

The below article was published by Sandipan Deb on May 29, 2000. Sandipan is an Electronics Engineer from IIT Kharagpur and was then the Deputy Editor of Outlook India. Currently he is Editor-Magazines, Indian Express Group. You can also find the original article here.

Every IITian I have showed this article to, has been able to relate with every single word. And so do non-IITians.

------------------------------------

Contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of IITians do nothing of note in their lives. Indeed, many of them became IITians because their parents told them that’s what they should mug their butts off for, and aim to hit the US of A, so that’s what they did. They attended classes, took notes, passed exams, took the gre, applied to a dozen American universities, and disappeared into that country’s vast technological underbelly, to reappear only in the matrimonial columns of Indian papers with a dollar salary multiplied diligently by the day’s exchange rate. Or they stayed in India, working at unexceptionable jobs, doing reasonably well. In either case, they got beautiful brides (often from rich families) and presumably lived happily ever after, meeting classmates once a month and chatting about their IIT days, and how Hippo has just changed jobs, and Zap is three rungs away from the top in Cisco Systems. Each of them had intelligence well above the average, and most, exceptional academic tenacity.

A decade and a half out of IIT, I wonder how many of us IITians achieved our potential? How many went to seed in remote dusty townships, tending massive pipelines and drinking in the township club? How many wilfully walked away from their natural talents in favour of safe MNC jobs selling diapers and hire-purchase schemes? How many, trained to think rationally and without bias, never managed to figure out the nuances of Indian office politics, and were relegated to obscure corridors in huge buildings? How many, obsessed with the American dream, settled for second-rate US universities, hung in for a green card, and today work at unfulfilling jobs in Idaho?

There’s another angle too to this. How many IITians, determined to stay engineers and in India, ignored the siren songs of the USA and the IIMs, and joined Indian industry, only to find that all the technical designs came from abroad, that you couldn’t change them even if you knew they were flawed, that all the engineering you got to do was maintenance, and knowing all that, they either settled into mediocrity, or went off to the US or the iims?

What was my IIT education all about? It was about IITians: 400 academically exceptional boys (and 12 girls) on a campus, which, in the case of Kharagpur, where I went, was far enough from civilisation to have very interesting effects on our coming of age. Many of us were truly extraordinary. There were boys from village schools who were leagues ahead in knowledge of the urban convent-educated type. There were those who mugged night and day, or simpered at professors from first benches, and there were those who also had a vibrant and busy life outside academics. I’ve found that the latter did better in life, even in fields like pure research. I also had friends who never needed to study, they had been apparently born with engineering wisdom in their genes. There were guys who spent most of the semester in a drug haze, but sobered up a few days before the exams, cracked them, and went back to their pharmaceuticals. Others did not have such control. Like Allen Ginsberg, I too saw some of the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. A few dropped out (I met one of them years later in Shillong, a stridently devout convert to Catholicism, and a lowly government clerk, but he seemed happy), a few killed themselves. But, most of us survived. I suppose we became tougher, more mature, more knowing, and more aware of our dark sides.

We lived and ate together, and shared our joys and heartbreaks and good times and bad times, in competition and camaraderie. We compared our philosophies and, bit by stumbling bit, developed our value systems. Never were stronger bonds forged between young people. Years from now, if I meet an IIT wingmate on the road, I know we will carry on as if nothing had changed, and nothing actually would have. A couple of years ago, there was a small visual trick on an Outlook cover, which was my idea. A close IIT friend, whom I had not been in touch with for years, called up from Singapore: "Some other name is mentioned in the cover credits, but it was your idea, right? I know the way you think." No one knows me better than these mates of mine from IIT.

IIT was also a whole insular world in itself, complex and complete, and it sucked us in. As The Chosen, we lived a full life with no necessity of any contact with the outside world. Totally cut off from politics and "the bigger issues", our delights remained in competing fiercely on the field or the stage with other hostels or other colleges. There were few material pleasures. Lifestyles were spartan, the food abysmal. The vast majority of males were totally deprived of female company. The girls lived a strange life-on the one hand, they were hounded by dozens of would-be suitors; on the other, they faced the petulant hostility of the majority which saw them as undeserving of so much adulation and so many free lunches.

When we graduated, we went out into the world with a rare confidence and strong tribal loyalties. The confidence eroded a bit over the years, and we learnt some humility when we discovered non-IITians as smart as we were, and also people who could outwit us because they were intelligent in a different way-in a sly political way-an acumen we had not developed in our isolated environment which, above all, inculcated a sense of fairness and a respect for ability. We came to terms with a world that compared poorly with our beloved campus, and some of us even went ahead and conquered it. Others didn’t do well, but knew that the ties between them and the masters-of-the-universe classmates would never change. They were ties born of the pride of being an IITian. That pride would never diminish.

It never can.

Fundamental Rights

15th Aug, 1947 to 15th Aug, 2009 - 62nd year of Independence. Lots of development happened in these years. In my childhood, we were taught of "Unity in Diversity" and today I'm hearing "India Shining" and "Incredible India". Honestly, I don't know what is so "Incredible" about India and neither can I see the "Shine". And while the "Diversity" is true, I'm not so sure about the "Unity" part.

And looking back into the 22 long years I have lived so far (of which I only remember about the last 6-7 yrs) I found a few things I could crib about. And they generally revolved around one thing - I have not even been provided my Fundamental Rights.

Aren't the "Fundamental Rights in India" guaranteed to every Indian citizen? Well, technically YES and as per the verbal usage in the Constitution, I'm even exercising my rights. But in the essence of it, I think we lost them long ago and never even realised it. Blame it on Society (ourselves)/Politicians/Law and you wouldn't be wrong.

I didn't even remember the 6 Fundamental Rights from my 9th Class Social Sciences course, so I had to read a little from the net, which you can find here. In this post, I would like to concentrate mainly on:

1. Right to Equality

2. Right to Freedom

4. Rigth to Freedom of Religion (yes, that's our Fourth Right)

2,4. Right to Freedom / Right to Freedom of Religion -

Right to Freedom relates to speech, expression and to move about within the country and the latter relates to, as the name implies, Freedom to follow any Religion. Together, these two rights give you the Freedom to form any opinion and also the Freedom to express it. With Press being given such a free hand in our country, I can't crib anything about that, can I?

But, this is what I think these 2 Rights were included in the Constitution for - to let everyone live in harmony by giving everyone the Freedom to think and move about freely within the country and live life as they deemed fit, and not be forced by someone else's opinions. The idea was that each one leads an independent life and not intrude into another's space. I would like to be treated as a responsible adult, form unadulterated opinions of everything that is happening around me, and take decisions for myself. I would like to settle and work in any part of the country.

The men and women writing the Constitution might have envisaged a happy India with many religions being practised by its citizens, but what they seem to have missed is the chaos that comes with diversity. We have so many religions being followed with each sect having its own presumptions about the nature of the others, that the whole purpose is defeated. I now have to deal with the Ram Sena's telling me how to live life "morally" and Shiv Sena's clearly voicing that non-Maharashtrians are not welcome in their state. To add to this are the inflammatory speeches made by idiots (read: likes of Varun Gandhi), enlarging of the communal, regional or caste-wides divides by political parties (can't single out any here) and of preachings/speeches made by "religious leaders" which are manipulative and biased in their content (such as Hindu Jagruti).

This proves it, I am not being given my Fundamental Rights of Freedom. Infact, if I had done better at Mathematics during school, I would have proven it to you that it is not possible to give everone the Right to Freedom without creating a mess. I would say, revoke my two Fundamental Rights of Freedom, which are but for namesake. Instead, replace them with a LAW OF TOLERANCE - a law which treats "intolerance towards any human/sect/community/caste/region or any other discrimination factor as a punishable offense". I want the word "tolerance" drilled into the mind of every citizen and into the heart of the society. And until then, I would rather live in a country of NO religion than a country of MANY religions.

Because we still have people who think Pakistan is bad, because they fail to get it that a certain few individuals do not necessarily reflect the qualities of a nation. That way, atleast Pakistan is ruled by a man who had it in him to reach the top. Unlike us, where we are ruled a woman who just happened to be the grand-daughter-in-law of a great man.

1. Right to Equality -

It is commonsense that, we are born different, we think different, we are at different levels - socially and financially, then how can we all be treated equal. This Right guarantees us equality - equality before the law, equal access to public places, equality in matters of public employment.

But in reality, it is just another of those "namesake" Fundamental Rights. Because, also written into the law is that "special provisions may be made for women, children or socially or educationally backward classes". See, the very Law that's supposed to treat us all as equal is trying to divide us. So, while you are waiting in the long queue at a temple, a politician or his wife's uncle's cousin's stepson might just get a VIP pass. Same goes with court matters or applying to a public post. While in some cases, it's unofficial "recommendations", it is "special provisions" in the rest. And the bottomline - there is NO EQUALITY.

But, don't bother. Because equality is like a man conceiving a child. It's just against the very law of nature. After all, even if I were more capable than Vijay Mallya's son, he would still leave everything to his son, right? Why else do you think sons, daughters and nephews of all actors, directors and producers are coming back into the show-business. What's worse is that, we are today being ruled by men and women who just happen to be the grand-daughter-in-laws or great-grand-sons of men who once ruled India. And these are the people who we trust are going to safeguard our Right to Equality. Right, why not.

But who is the culprit? Who snatched away my Fundamental Rights? I guess the answer is everyone of us. The politicians and a few other men - for their own greed and selfish motives. The court, for having let antisocial elements make our system seem like a farce. And the rest of us, because we stayed silent and tolerant of all the wrong things.

And I would like to end with what Rabindranath Tagore wrote decades ago and what still holds true. Only, we should now say, not "Country", but "Every living being"

LET MY COUNTRY AWAKE

Where the mind is without fear and the head held high;

Where knowledge is free;

Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;

Where words come out from the depth of truth;

Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;

Where the mind is led forward by Thee into ever-widening thought and action;

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

LUCK

I have just come back from watching the movie LUCK. A different kind of a plot but executed very badly with exceptionally bad acting. None of the characters made any sense to me, from Aisha-Natasha to Ram to Raghavan. And the "Grand-finale" was the mega-bomb to take away whatever little thrill, No! curiousity, the rest of the movie had managed to arouse in you. The script has few scenes which do not seem to fit into the normal flow of the movie but these are beautifully connected later on in the Hollywood-inspired kind of way. Except that once you have knotted together all the loose ends, you feel like "This wasn't worth it." Bottomline - If it were the work of a amateur, I would say good try but needs loads of improvement. Otherwise, UTTER CRAP. And you definitely are lucky if you haven't watched it.

But what did catch my attention was the concept. I am still wondering, do such people exist? Can anybody have such luck? I do know a few people who are very lucky but I am pretty sure all of them only have their heart in the right place (you would understand this if you have watched the movie). And if this movie even breaks-even, then we will have to call the Producer, Moussa, for getting away with something as bad as this. If I had my way, I would want to... forget it!

If we take the word LUCK literally, even I could be termed lucky, for I always seem to carry (Bad) Luck in my pocket everytime. Infact, I have something like the Sadim's (from Midas) touch - everything I touch turns into dung. And it works better than ever, in the case of girls. Every girl I ever liked was either "elder to me, married or already taken" and in light of the recent developments, "or is a lesbian".

And your rating is...

Finally, I have a Guest Blog. This is from one of my very close friends, Paheli. It's clear he was very frustrated when he wrote this but below is the post just as he wrote it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whenever I am experiencing anything new I get very excited about it. Nothing unusual about it. But if, god-forbid, something is not PERFECT about it, I get inspired to write about it. Scream and tell the world, "Look, how wrong they are". No wonder, I criticse girls so much. (Although I say girls in general, I only intend to criticize only the stereotypes.)

Coming back, I have finished my first ever appraisal in a company. And I haven't been really impressed by it. Infact, I have been heavily disappointed by it. So, I thought I should voice my opinion immediately. And almost instantly after having decided to write this post, I had the every sentence framed up in my mind. And this is how it goes:

Location and Cast: A closed-room packed with a lot of Managers, Vice-Presidents, etc. Put differently, all the guys who call the shots in their respective projects/domains. But most of them are scared to even open their mouth here (unlike anywhere else) because, in the room are also BIGGER people than them (hierarchically). Also in the crowd are some noisy class of people. People who want to voice their opinion, even when they have none. And not to forget the FCPs (where MCP stands for Male Chauvinistic Pigs).

Procedure: A slide is brought up with an employee's details. Then, ideally, a constructive discussion must go on to discuss how well the employee has performed over the year and where all he/she can improve.

Scenario 1: If the employee's progress over the year has only been average, then he/she is immediately awarded "Average" and somebody calls out, "NEXT !!!". Everyone has only one thing on their minds, "Lets get all this done quickly. It's tiring."

Scenario 2: In the cases when the "somebody" on the slide has proven himself above the rest, everybody is silent at first. This is because everybody is waiting for one of the BIGGEST guys or the biggest mouths to speak first.

Scenario 2.1: If one of the BIG guys says, "I know him. We both get along well. I expect he would have done a good job on the project as well." And immediately, the Project Manager jumps in with, "Ofcourse, how could he not have done great on the project." And everyone agrees with whatever the BIG guy proposes.

Scenario 2.2: If instead, the discussion had started out as, "I hardly know him. How did he do in all the aspects." Then it would depend on how many BIG mouths are there to speak for him. And if he/she happened to be in the good books of a BIG mouth, or someone who is himself in the good books of a BIG guy, consider him/her to be rated "Exceptional". Else, it will understood to be written in his Development Needs, that "Need to do more NETWORKING".

Scenario X: This scenario is rated 'X' because it is special. The speciality of this scenario is rooted in the very definition of "Relativity" and its ineffectiveness in rating people. I say this because what if more than 10% of the group had done a great job and proven themselves "Exceptional" on the Absolute scale...

So, this is what you are supposed to learn from the way Appraisals are done...

1) NETWORKING is important. We have always heard this, haven't we? But we only never understood its significance. What it really means is, "At the end of the day, what is important is - Who all know you? So, leave an impression on everyone you meet.. and meet a lot of people"

2) TEAM WORK - Apart from networking you are supposed to believe in Team Work... So leave the work for your team.. It's not only you, I have heard this PJ before as well... Except that, only now can I see where it originated from and also realised that it's not a PJ..

The post I intended to write on Appraisals in companies ends here... It was meant to be an exaggerated view of showing where we were lacking perfection...

But before I got to writing this post, over some coffee-break discussion with colleagues and friends, I realised I wasn't exaggerating as much as I had thought I was... Although the blog as a whole is an exaggeration, but it is still true. In the sense that, each of the scenario's did take place in someone or the other's case..

While I was happy that my exaggerated prediction (if you could call it so) was proving out to be true, I was also heavily disappointed about the same.. And overall, I was more disappointed than I had reason to be happy.. The whole cause of an Appraisal was lost :(

Paheli

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And this is where the Guest Blog ends

Our Roads and Us

In about an year of driving to and fro my office, I have only seen one accident happen and fortunately or unfortunately, I never saw it Live. I only arrived on the scene about an hour late. But this week alone, two incidents took place.

Incident 1:

I was on my way to the office, as usual on my bike. Then along the way I saw a huge crowd at the side of the road. There were even people who had climbed the divider to get a glimpse of what had happened (such a thing can happen only in India). As I crawled through the inevitable traffic jam, I saw a couple of people who were bent double and they had long bamboo sticks in their hand. I noticed that the ends of the sticks were damaged a little. There seemed to have been a lot of beating that took place. Further there was a bike standing nearby with its seat removed. And everyone was looking on the ground. I strained myself a little - stood on my toes, bent sideways - to get a glimpse of whatever/whoever it was the crowd was lost in but I could get a glimpse of neither a body nor blood. I crossed the scene of the incident, parked my bike at the side and asked somebody who was coming out from the crowd, "What happened?", and he replied, "Snake".

Incident 2:

This incident happened just the day after the previoud incident took place. I reached a junction and noticed that the traffic was stagnant. Nobody was moving. Rather everybody had tried to move and got into the way of someone else. The result - Something similar to the pic below.

(this pic has been flicked from Hindu.com)

Everyone was stuck behind someone else in a circular kind of a fashion. Taking full advantage of being on a bike, I weaved my way through the traffic in what could have been the longest route to cover 25 m. Then I noticed what could have triggered the congestion. There was dust all over the road and half the road was blocked by some large object. Whatever it was, had fallen on the left side of the road causing some amount of damage to the one-room, tiny shops alongside the road. And the object was nothing but a, lorry. A lorry carrying dugged earth had overturned and fallen on its side blocking half the road. I couldn't even imagine how such a large, slow-moving vehicle with a full-load at the back manage to overturn. And this proves, that "IMPOSSIBLE" isn't a word in the dictionaries of Indians. It also justifies the love we have towards Physics laws-defying stunts in our movies.

Seedi Baath.. No Bakwaas

Here is an interesting observation... If you have been watching the IPL matches from the start you would definitely have seen the Sprite Ad in which one guy is seen selecting tall, hefty body-builders to defeat the opposition and then our dear SRK comes in and says, "Then what are these for?" and the camera zooms in on the KKR team (including Dada)... And then comes the tagline "Seedi Baath.. No Bakwaas". Pretty bold statement to make at the start of a new season especially after a very bad first season. But as the season progressed and KKR outdid all other teams to secure their place at the very bottom, the fellows at Sprite soon took a leaf out of their own book and cut-short all the Bakwaas in the Ad and now just run "Sprite... Seedi Baath.. No Bakwaas".. Now, this is what is called "Improvisation".. Besides, they have now gone back to "ladki ko patana" waala ads - having realised that "opposition ko harana" isn't something KKR can really do... just a wrong choice of Partners, mate..

With the stunning defeats that KKR has been involved in, came the rumours that SRK isn't making any money and so might soon put up the team for auction...That's definitely not true.. How can I be so sure?? Simple... Because he is SRK.. He is simply one of the best businessman in the country and would do everything possible to ensure he comes out on top (in terms of money, and maybe brand-building).. He is the kind of guy who would run naked around the cricket ground if that is what would attract people to watch the KKR lose. (Okay, I'm sure to make a lot of enemies among the girls now.) Actually, don't get me wrong. All I wanted to say is that he has just gone sleeveless in this season's KKR anthem.. There is still a long way to go (bare-chested as in OSO, into shorts as in Chak de! and only then the naked run down the pitch) before we can conclude that SRK has not been making money... But with the kind of craze and following he has, I'm sure bare-chested is enough to make him the most profitable owner for this season of IPL.

Talking about team anthems, RR, RCB, KXIP have also come up with their respective team anthems...

the RR's again, just like the KKR's, lost their theme... the guy who selected the theme probably thought IPL is some sort of a Rajasthani folk dance... that's all there seemed to be all throughout, Shilpa in a traditional outfit (okay, not that any any outfit could be stictched in that little cloth, but it was still a lot when it comes to our Bollywood heroines)... The only one single striking frame would be the one which shows the stunning Shilpa in an air-hostess' outfit with a private jet with RR written on it in the background... but the bottomline, if Shilpa doesn't strip (of that little) and you don't focus on the cricketers (mainly Warne), who do you except to watch that video? And coming to the audio... what difference would it make with Shilpa in the video.

The RCB's were not far off in the race for the worst team anthem either... I didn't understand a word of their anthem nor what the video tried to convey.. let me take a guess.. I think they were singing "We will win.. we will win.. Bengalooru"... But with the video, someone made a real mess of it... I think that "someone" thought IPL was for Quidditch matches, not cricket... because the video starts off with cricketers rising into the air (without broomsticks), just the way Souls were shown to be rising in some of the old Bollywood movies.. but unlike the KKR anthem, the RCB's got their theme right... they understood from the start that it's not their players but their cheerleaders who hold a chance of attracting crowds (if at all).. so they focussed entirely on cheerleaders and boy, didn't they get that spot-on... the cheerleaders are totally "HOT".. I'm sure they could make more money by selling CDs of their anthem (video obviously, the audio would hardly be intelligible) than by selling tickets to the IPL matches.. but if only... if only the cheerleaders would travel more towards the south and play from Chennai, the Superkings would drop less catches and hold a chance of winning this IPL..

The KXIP, in comparision, were the only one who made a decent anthem and tried to convey a message in clear layman language... The video clearly shows that Yuvraj and his boys play cricket and there will be some big shots to watch for in the game... Apart from that, Preity would always be cheering them from the stands.. See, a straight-forward video conveying a smiple message.. No loud statements boasting about "defeating the opposition" and stuff... afterall, the KXIP is like a cat on the wall, even after half the season is completed they are still not sure which side they would jump...

Coming to the DC's team anthem... do they have an antem?? do they need one in the first place?? I guess not... and anyway, they have just so totally disappointed me this season.. last season, they made it clear right from the word "GO" that were not in any mood to challenge the others... but this season, they are sitting on the wall with the KXIPs not knowing which side they would jump to.. sorry, which side they would fall on... because when it comes to the DCs, other teams lose or win against them and send them to the top or bottom of the charts... and I HATE SUCH SUSPENSE...

That's it for now.. if I carry on any further, I am pretty sure I would be sued by all the Wadias, Mallyas and Ram Reddys of India.. And not to forget the Khan and half the Bollywood('s strippers) backing him...

Extremists

"Anything to the extreme is bad." This is one rule that is valid at all times in all circumstances.

And India is a country that is blessed with samples from all the extremes possible. Not just any random samples, we have the most extreme variety of all samples. Although, this has always been cleverly portrayed as "Unity in Diversity", my personal belief is that there is unity only within each of the diverse groups (sometimes even this is doubtful), not amongst the various groups. Given a chance this country would split up into a billion-odd pieces. Think of it, corruption could be brought down to zero. (Afterall, what is the point of stealing from your own home.) And even I could dream of becoming President one day. But let me not get into that debate now.

We have extremist thinkers who don't want adulteration based on region. Best example would be Shiv Sainiks, who want all non-Maharashtrians to leave Mumbai. Then we have the extremists who go attack girls because they went to a pub and this is against our culture. (Did anyone check if the girls were really Hindus or Muslims?? They could just as well have been Christians and drinking might be allowed in their culture.)

(As revenge) another set of extremists (I think it was Renuka Choudhury) wanted all girls to go and enjoy Valentine's Day in pubs/parties. The Bangalore act of Shri Ram Sena inspired more extremists who declared they would roam around with garlands and rakhis on 14th Feb. According to them, "Friendship" doesn't exist between a boy and girl (atleast for that one day). So if you were caught roaming around with a girl, you had to be either her lover or her brother. This is something like Sigmund Freud's theory, only he went one step further still.

And, I guess, with the "Dostana" effect catching on, we won't even see two guys together from next Valentine's Day.

Amidst all this extremism are the biggest extremists of all - US (not America, but you and me). We have our hands folded and minds closed. We are so sure that we will be able to do nothing against these extremists that our attitude borders around being called "indifference".

But why doesn't anyone realise that there is a lot that we can do. We can rape Renuka's daughter next time we find her in a pub, drown Ram Sainiks in boiling oil if we find any of them drinking or smoking or kick the shit out of Shiv Sainiks if we find any of them out of Maharashtra or watching any Bollywood movie of some Delhi-born actor. NO! How can we do this? We would rather carry our "indifference" attitude to the extreme than turn towards violence.

I believe this is the ONLY reason we have stayed united - our "indifference" towards everything. And as if to mock at us, the extremists have always given us shit and we have gladly accepted it. Obviously we couldn't revolt against them.

And guess what next after taking all this shit? Its Pee. Now, this may sound like a really bad PJ to you but, its true. This time, they are conspiring to make us take Pee... literally. Read this article on Reuters.

Girls Vs Boys

About an year ago, I wrote a few conversations, fictional ofcourse, to magnify the difference between girls and boys. Going through it again after so long, I didn't like it and wanted to make a few changes. But me being ME, i effectively re-did the whole thing which I'm finally publishing to my blog. The text in the ( ) speaks the unspoken words.

Disclaimer:  1. Whatever I write below is next only to the words of God.

   2. No cribbing or suing me allowed

   3. Point 1 survives in case you break point 2.

   4. It's all purely a work of fiction. It may or may not be true (but I think it is) and it's resemblance to anyone, especially guys, is not coincidence but purely proof that he is a guy.

=============================================

VERY EARLY DAYS

{Boy to Boy} 

Boy_1: Abe aaj Girl_1 ko dekha? Kya lag rahi thi yaar.

Boy_2: Haan bey. woh toh hai hi maal.

{Boy to Girl}

Boy_1: Hi... what are you doing?

Girl_1: Nothing... ("Nothing that matters you")

FEW DAYS LATER

{Boy to Boy} 

Boy_2: kyu bey, any progress?

Boy_1: Yea, we speak almost daily now. We have grown pretty close. 

{Boy to Girl}

Boy_1: Hi... long time.. no see..

Girl_1: Yea.. was busy.. ("I didnt have any work with you.. So didn't bother talking to you.."). So, how are you doing?

A FEW DAYS LATER STILL

{Girl to Girl}

Girl_2: Hi babes. *A peck on the cheek* Howzza doing?

Girl_1: Hey honey. I am doing lovely.

Girl_2: Heard you and Boy_1 are seeing each other. *A naughty smile* (How dare you steal him, bitch?)

Girl_1: Aah, we have just been out a couple of times. He is a nice guy, great company.

Girl_2: That's nice. (Ofcourse, I know that. That's why I was with him before you stole him).

Girl_1: We were planning to meet sometime today. Where do you think we should go?

Girl_2: Why don't you try some disco or pubs. You know how guys are. Low neck, short skirt and a little attitude would do the trick. (Ahh, this would get interesting now. I know Boy_1 isn't a party animal and hates girls with attitude).

Girl_1: Aah, thanks babes.

Girl_2: Anytime honey.

{Boy to Boy}

Boy_2: Hey, I just heard that you are going to a disc with Girl_1 tonight. Is that true?

Boy_1: Yeah, I asked her to decide the place and she suggested a disc.

Boy_2: But you don't like parties na.

Boy_1: Yeah, but I like party animals. Kaam jaldi ho jaata hai *wink* Told you we have become very close now. I think she loves me. Maybe I should propose soon.

Boy_2: Wow. That's cool, man. And did you check out Elisha Cuthbert's latest video?

Boy_1: which one?

blah blah blah...

THAT NIGHT

{Girl to Boy} -- he has just dropped her home. Both are equally drunk.

Girl_1/Boy_1: A tight hug, a long, warm kiss. So not much talking done.

Boy_1: (Thank God, she is so drunk. She wouldn't have done this if she wasn't. She is going to wake up tomorrow morning thinking it was all a dream.)

Girl_1: (Hmm, I'm loving it. Thank God, my parents aren't home.)

He finally leaves. And within 5 min, she calls him.

{Girl to Boy}

Girl_1: Hiiiiii.  :*

Boy_1: Hey hiii

Girl_1: Gosh, I'm missing you already.

Boy_1: You want me to come back. *A grin on his face, a wish in his heart but still trying to make it sound like a joke*

Girl_1: Haha. No, it's OK. You carry on.

Boy_1: Ohh, no worries. I can come back.

Girl_1: So sweet. I love you. But you carry on. You're already getting very late. (ek aur bakra)

Boy_1: Love you too, babes.

Girl_1: So, aur batao.

and the conversation continues for a few hours till one of them simply drops asleep.

NEXT MORNING

{Boy to Boy}

Boy_1: (Aah, my head aches. But, what a night. It still seems like a dream.)

Boy_2: Hey! How was your night?

Boy_1: It was awesome man. And guess what, she said "I love you" first.

Boy_2: Awesome, lucky you.

Boy_1: Did you watch the next episode of Prison Break? I heard it's too good.

blah, blah, blah.

{Girl to Girl}

Girl_1: (Aah, my head aches. But, what a night. It still seems like a dream.)

Girl_2: Hey! How was your night?

Girl_1: It was pretty good. But he was being a little too proactive.

Girl_2: (What a loser, he is). Hmm, so you planning to proceed any further?

Girl_1: Naah, he doesn't smell good. I don't think he is the right guy for me.

Girl_2: Yeah.

blah, blah, blah.

NEXT WEEK

{Boy to Boy}

Boy_2: Hey, buddy. Howz it going?

Boy_1: Chatting with Girl_3.

Boy_2: Ohh, is she the new girl in our class? What's up with Girl_1?

Boy_1: Would you believe it, she says we were just friends.

Boy_2: But you said she loved you.

Boy_1: Yeah, now she says she loved me as a friend. (???)

Boy_2: (???) What does that mean?

Boy_1: I don't know. And I bet even she doesn't either.

Boy_2: Hmm, mind if I try her?

Boy_1: Nopes, here is her id - devil.in.disguise@GoogleTalk. And her phone number is 900xxx2365. But don't let her know I gave you her details.

Boy_2: No, never.

{Girl to Girl}

Girl_1: Boy_3 was looking so hot today.

Girl_2: Yeah, he was. (Not again, you bitch. I'm trying for him this time).

Girl_1: And you know what Girl_4 did yesterday? She was with Boy_3 the whole day. That slut.

Girl_2: (What? Even she is in the line?) She is one.

and the bitching continues.

=============================================

Do not try to read too much from the above fictional conversations. But just know that they were loosely based on the following (facts?):

1) Guys always take the lead in approaching girls. But after the ice has been broken, the girl takes the lead and leads him all the way to the end of the cliff before dumping him.

2) Leave 4 girl friends in a room and 4 guys in another room, for one whole day. By the end of the day, the 4 girls would be fighting and the 4 guys would become friends however diverse their interests are.

3) Guys, by default, have an unadulterated mind and hence, are very easy to understand. All they care about is FUN, in the form of booze, toys (cars, superbikes, etc.) and definitely Girls. On the other hand, Girls are so complex to understand I can't write anything here.

4) As my friend once put it, "Guys fall in whatever-they-call-it (love) many times". True, guys follow equality and love every decent girl they come across. On the contrary,  girls have friends, close friends, even closer friends, a little more closer than even closer friends, a little more closer than even that, and so on and on. But they never really love anybody.

How Jobs ruined my life

Wednesday, June 11th 2008: The iPhone 3G was finally launched after much hype... And on the same day, IndyMac had to close down. Now, I wouldn't say it was due to the launch of the iPhone but the iPhone's launch did have other consequences. One of which was - it ruined my life, atleast it marked the beginning.

The iPhone had created a lot of buzz even before it was officially launched and this made Steve Jobs - a very happy man. And when he officially revealed the iPhone 3G, everyone knew instantly that he hadn't let down their expectations. It was stylish, had lots of features, had more features, had even more features - in short, a true Apple product. The latest versions of the iPod and iTouch were launched too. And this is where it all started.

Everyone now wanted an iPhone, iPod and/or iTouch and this made the Sr. Management at Apple rich, rather richer. They now bought Ferraris and Porsches to greet guests at the gates, while they themselves roamed around in Maybachs and private jets. And how did they get all this money? From the kids and adults alike who craved for the sexy iStuff.

Johnson's friend Dickson had an iPod Shuffle; so Johnson asked his dad, John, for one too on his 13th birthday. John gifted him an iPod Nano 8Gb. What a sweet family, but actually what a cunning Dad. John had an investment banking firm and he increased his firm's fees so that he could pay for all the iStuff he needed to buy. Dickson now asked his dad, Dick, to gift him an iTouch for his 13th birthday. But, Dick was a true dick-head - he was just an employee in a company making designer wear. So he asked his manager for a raise, who asked her manager for a raise and who asked for raising the salaries of all Sr. Managers. It was now not the question of Dickson's iPod but of all the Dicks and their sons and their iStuff. The raises had to come and Dick gifted his son, an iTouch. And how was this possible? Designer wear got costlier still.

The situation now was something like this - Investment firms were charging very high fees and were giving lesser returns to their investors. All designer stuff, whether designed or copied, was getting costlier. So a kind of status-mania started spreading, through a world filled with sky-high-desires and cash-crunch. Even India wasn't spared.

With the prices of everything going up, the Indian manufacturers of everything's fake counterparts too started raising the prices. Afterall, even they wanted to gift their kids the iPhone. The end result? An original pair of Adidas shoes costs around 2-3k, while their fake counterparts (made with material that would last 6 months, at best) costs 1000/-. I'm forced to buy shirts from Peter England or Urbana for 2k, or from Provogue and Indian Terrain for 1.5k. Even the shirt from never-before-heard-of French Republic costs 600 now.

So I end up spening small fortunes every month shopping for my bare survival. And where does all this money go? To the Hrithik's, Aishwarya's and who-so-ever's face appears on TV or on a Bill board, so that they can gift their kids and spouses - the iStuff, Porsche's and BMW's. No wonder, there are atleast 3 Porsche Cayennes (one grey, one white and one black), a couple of Mercedez SLKs (one red and one grey), a Porsche Boxster (black) and countless number of BMWs - in Hyderabad alone. Worth mentioning is the Bentley of the Bachchan's and the white Lamborghini recently spotted in Delhi.

That's how fucked up my life is - and all this without even bringing the "Netas" into the picture.

Suhel Seth's interview

Suhel Seth... Ad Guru, actor, theatre person, columnist, guest lecturer... speaks to Times Now, as to how incompetent our government is. He is awesome and I don't think anyone else could have put it or said it better.

He was just returning to the Taj on 26th November, when he got an SMS from the Hotel Management asking him not to return as there is some disturbance outside the hotel. He had possibly escaped death and you can feel that emotion in what he speaks. 

He doesn't stop here... he continues on... I really wish somebody gave him a fully-Automatic gun and made all the politicians stand in a line in front of him...

There's more... There's no stopping him, but I would say every point he makes is valid.

Mamma Mia!

No surprises here.. I'm talking of the movie "Mamma Mia!".. If you haven't watched it yet, trust me, you wouldn't miss it.. unless, ofcourse, if you were a big fan of ABBA.. So here is the story in the chronological order (not in the order in which it happens in the movie)

Background: Donna is a young lovely girl whose enjoys enjoying (with men, ofcourse.. Those were the days when homosexuality wasn't still discovered.) She and her two friends, Tanya and Rosie are part of a group Donna and the Dynamoes.. Donna is clearly the everyman's "dream" girl (you know why ;) )

ACT 1: Donna has the time of her life on a Greek island and ends up pregnant. Her mother disowns her (told you, those were the days when all this wasn't really accepted). Dejected, she goes back to the Island and uses the money she inherited from an Aunt of the guy she was sleeping around with at that point of time to build a taverna. Soon, Sophia (her daughter) is born.

ACT 2: Sophia is 20 yrs old, and getting married to Sky, a guy whom she madly loves. She decides to call her dad for her wedding and coincidentally finds her mom's dairy which she maintained the year she was born. Now, here is the twist... the dairy reveals there are three possible fathers. But no problems, 20 yrs have passed and we have now reached an age where everything is accepted. So Sophia forgives her mother and invites all three possible-dad's to her wedding.

ACT 3: Dads arrive, Mom's surprised, shocked and angry... Sophia adds to the confusion and there is one big mess... Confusion continues as Mom doesn't know the father either... She seems to love Sam the most, but inherited the fortune while sleeping with Bill. Donna was also the first and last woman in Harry's life as he later turned gay... (the Dynamo power doesn't seem to have worked on poor Harry, instead it led to the discovery of Homos).

ACT 4: Sophia's big wedding... Donna walks Sophia down the aisle, as that seemed easier than identifying the dad. Harry comes forward and claims he can never have kids (obviously, he's gay) and so would want to be atleast one-third father for Sophia. Sam and Bill follow suit... MISSION ACCOMPLISHED - Dad has been identified, not 1 but 3... Sophia now decides that she doesn't want to get married after all - she just wants to roam the world with Sky... How sweet.

That's where the story ends, but I bet I know what happened next... Sophia gave birth to Momma Spears and the legacy continued.

OK, I know this is not one of my best blogs, but blame it on the movie... and the nonsensical characters...  and also their sometimes-gross attempted humour.

I never will understand these Americans

Guess what the latest rumour is, Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant again.. Click the title to read the original article.. Generally, this is not something I would like to comment on but what made me do it, was this response - 

"We both agree that we want Maddie (their 4-month old daughter) to be a little bit older so that she can be a part of it" by Jamie Lynn when asked about when she and Casey Aldridge (the sperm supplier) would be getting married. Now, how dumb is that... and worse yet, what does she do in the meantime?? what better than getting pregnant again... Maybe, Jamie is planning to have one mega-wedding after 15 years, when Jamie, Maddie and Maddie's 10 younger sisters can all get married in the same church while her infant grand-daughters witness the grand and happy wedding...

And anyway, who the hell cares when they get married... or whether they get married at all in the first place... but wait, NY Daily News surely does.. So what do they do? They run a poll "Bringing Up Baby - Should Jamie Lynn and Casey get married?"... Right, as though they would get married if I voted yes...

I think the world should rather be worrying about how to make sure Maddie Spears doesn't end up being a Spears... Elder Spears has already proven she could be the worst mother of all times, and younger Spears has proven she still needs to "grow up"... Casey on the other hand seems happy running the new baby outlet he has opened up in Jamie's bedroom...

I really wish someone would ban Spears' family from making more of their kind...