Girls Vs Boys

About an year ago, I wrote a few conversations, fictional ofcourse, to magnify the difference between girls and boys. Going through it again after so long, I didn't like it and wanted to make a few changes. But me being ME, i effectively re-did the whole thing which I'm finally publishing to my blog. The text in the ( ) speaks the unspoken words.

Disclaimer:  1. Whatever I write below is next only to the words of God.

   2. No cribbing or suing me allowed

   3. Point 1 survives in case you break point 2.

   4. It's all purely a work of fiction. It may or may not be true (but I think it is) and it's resemblance to anyone, especially guys, is not coincidence but purely proof that he is a guy.

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VERY EARLY DAYS

{Boy to Boy} 

Boy_1: Abe aaj Girl_1 ko dekha? Kya lag rahi thi yaar.

Boy_2: Haan bey. woh toh hai hi maal.

{Boy to Girl}

Boy_1: Hi... what are you doing?

Girl_1: Nothing... ("Nothing that matters you")

FEW DAYS LATER

{Boy to Boy} 

Boy_2: kyu bey, any progress?

Boy_1: Yea, we speak almost daily now. We have grown pretty close. 

{Boy to Girl}

Boy_1: Hi... long time.. no see..

Girl_1: Yea.. was busy.. ("I didnt have any work with you.. So didn't bother talking to you.."). So, how are you doing?

A FEW DAYS LATER STILL

{Girl to Girl}

Girl_2: Hi babes. *A peck on the cheek* Howzza doing?

Girl_1: Hey honey. I am doing lovely.

Girl_2: Heard you and Boy_1 are seeing each other. *A naughty smile* (How dare you steal him, bitch?)

Girl_1: Aah, we have just been out a couple of times. He is a nice guy, great company.

Girl_2: That's nice. (Ofcourse, I know that. That's why I was with him before you stole him).

Girl_1: We were planning to meet sometime today. Where do you think we should go?

Girl_2: Why don't you try some disco or pubs. You know how guys are. Low neck, short skirt and a little attitude would do the trick. (Ahh, this would get interesting now. I know Boy_1 isn't a party animal and hates girls with attitude).

Girl_1: Aah, thanks babes.

Girl_2: Anytime honey.

{Boy to Boy}

Boy_2: Hey, I just heard that you are going to a disc with Girl_1 tonight. Is that true?

Boy_1: Yeah, I asked her to decide the place and she suggested a disc.

Boy_2: But you don't like parties na.

Boy_1: Yeah, but I like party animals. Kaam jaldi ho jaata hai *wink* Told you we have become very close now. I think she loves me. Maybe I should propose soon.

Boy_2: Wow. That's cool, man. And did you check out Elisha Cuthbert's latest video?

Boy_1: which one?

blah blah blah...

THAT NIGHT

{Girl to Boy} -- he has just dropped her home. Both are equally drunk.

Girl_1/Boy_1: A tight hug, a long, warm kiss. So not much talking done.

Boy_1: (Thank God, she is so drunk. She wouldn't have done this if she wasn't. She is going to wake up tomorrow morning thinking it was all a dream.)

Girl_1: (Hmm, I'm loving it. Thank God, my parents aren't home.)

He finally leaves. And within 5 min, she calls him.

{Girl to Boy}

Girl_1: Hiiiiii.  :*

Boy_1: Hey hiii

Girl_1: Gosh, I'm missing you already.

Boy_1: You want me to come back. *A grin on his face, a wish in his heart but still trying to make it sound like a joke*

Girl_1: Haha. No, it's OK. You carry on.

Boy_1: Ohh, no worries. I can come back.

Girl_1: So sweet. I love you. But you carry on. You're already getting very late. (ek aur bakra)

Boy_1: Love you too, babes.

Girl_1: So, aur batao.

and the conversation continues for a few hours till one of them simply drops asleep.

NEXT MORNING

{Boy to Boy}

Boy_1: (Aah, my head aches. But, what a night. It still seems like a dream.)

Boy_2: Hey! How was your night?

Boy_1: It was awesome man. And guess what, she said "I love you" first.

Boy_2: Awesome, lucky you.

Boy_1: Did you watch the next episode of Prison Break? I heard it's too good.

blah, blah, blah.

{Girl to Girl}

Girl_1: (Aah, my head aches. But, what a night. It still seems like a dream.)

Girl_2: Hey! How was your night?

Girl_1: It was pretty good. But he was being a little too proactive.

Girl_2: (What a loser, he is). Hmm, so you planning to proceed any further?

Girl_1: Naah, he doesn't smell good. I don't think he is the right guy for me.

Girl_2: Yeah.

blah, blah, blah.

NEXT WEEK

{Boy to Boy}

Boy_2: Hey, buddy. Howz it going?

Boy_1: Chatting with Girl_3.

Boy_2: Ohh, is she the new girl in our class? What's up with Girl_1?

Boy_1: Would you believe it, she says we were just friends.

Boy_2: But you said she loved you.

Boy_1: Yeah, now she says she loved me as a friend. (???)

Boy_2: (???) What does that mean?

Boy_1: I don't know. And I bet even she doesn't either.

Boy_2: Hmm, mind if I try her?

Boy_1: Nopes, here is her id - devil.in.disguise@GoogleTalk. And her phone number is 900xxx2365. But don't let her know I gave you her details.

Boy_2: No, never.

{Girl to Girl}

Girl_1: Boy_3 was looking so hot today.

Girl_2: Yeah, he was. (Not again, you bitch. I'm trying for him this time).

Girl_1: And you know what Girl_4 did yesterday? She was with Boy_3 the whole day. That slut.

Girl_2: (What? Even she is in the line?) She is one.

and the bitching continues.

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Do not try to read too much from the above fictional conversations. But just know that they were loosely based on the following (facts?):

1) Guys always take the lead in approaching girls. But after the ice has been broken, the girl takes the lead and leads him all the way to the end of the cliff before dumping him.

2) Leave 4 girl friends in a room and 4 guys in another room, for one whole day. By the end of the day, the 4 girls would be fighting and the 4 guys would become friends however diverse their interests are.

3) Guys, by default, have an unadulterated mind and hence, are very easy to understand. All they care about is FUN, in the form of booze, toys (cars, superbikes, etc.) and definitely Girls. On the other hand, Girls are so complex to understand I can't write anything here.

4) As my friend once put it, "Guys fall in whatever-they-call-it (love) many times". True, guys follow equality and love every decent girl they come across. On the contrary,  girls have friends, close friends, even closer friends, a little more closer than even closer friends, a little more closer than even that, and so on and on. But they never really love anybody.