I'm Most Punctual - FB App says so

Most Punctual? ME ?

Who was I compared to - Indian Railways?

"Fracture" Diaries - Entry 7 - What happened next?

One of the first almost everyone asked was - How did my family react to the news?

My initial idea was to get the surgery done and go home then. Not that I was scared to tell them but just didn't want to scare them. I only told my brother but he ended up telling my dad and brother-in-law who them came to pick me up.

On the way back, my dad remained pretty cool and we were joking about stuff too. He even related to me a story of how he got dragged some distance by a bus when he slipped trying to get in while it was moving. This was a long time ago, before he got married. I guess, the 4 of us in the car are the only people alive now who know this story.

My brother-in-law's reaction was, "You need to take your life more seriously. You need to become responsible now. Else get married."

My mother was worried (obviously) and kept saying, "Look what you have gotten yourself into this time." Yesterday, which is about 11 days after the accident, she told me, how, in my childhood, I hit a pillar in the parking space and got stitches - twice.

My sister found a way to relate the accident to why I should do my MBA. (I'm baffled.)

My nephew, though he doesn't understand the seriousness of what happened, asks me every day why I went fast and fell. And he is the only one who has been able to make me feel guilty, sheerly through his constant questioning.

Dreams...

Found this post today in the drafts. I began it on 7/19/09 at 12:50 AM

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Writing this post was my dream.. so here goes

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God only knows what that 'dream' was :P Actually I remember too but not clearly enough to finish the post.

Talking of dreams, these days I'm getting weird dreams... some of them I can recollect I got a few years back - very similar ones (the same abandoned house, a huge empty slum, a small house with a single yellow flower in the garden and the same family living in it - only the couple living in the house were divorced this time). And its not like déjà vu either.

In some other dreams, its people I know personally, but their family, house, everything is different from real life. Like the family living in the house with the yellow flower - they are our family friends... neither do they live in that house, nor are they divorced. Another time, I dreamt that a close friend of mine belonged to a Factionist family with which I had some rivalry. But in reality, her's is a family of passionate but non-violent people.

I have bought the book "Interpretation of Dreams" by Sigmund Freud. Hopefully, he can throw some light. Atleast an "It's irrelevant" would be good enough.

Life Sucks

Yes, life sucks... I mean, MY life sucks.

I can't tell you how bad I'm feeling right now. Words evade me, more than they ever have. I have reached my personal limit and seem close to breaking any moment.

And this isn't because of the Bike Repair costs or the Hospital bill or anything financial at all. Nor is it about my right leg, that's become more a liability than an asset and shall remain so for the next 6 weeks.

It is because of all of the above put in the light of Past and Future (as I see it). You could say, Past, Present and Future together are screwing me. It's like the God of 4th Dimension - Time (I don't think we Indians have one, do the Greeks?) is fucking me left, right and center (to put in Indian Slang).

My bad luck has literally been following me like the ghost in The Shutter since beginning of December. I accept, I have a poor memory... but all I can still remember and only think of is how life should have been SO DIFFERENT. I had less than 48hrs of clear, happy time before I took the fall again, this time literally as well. And I can see what's in store for me in the Future till as ahead as March and all I see is 'More bad things await me'. Not bad things as bad things, but things that would make me sad. I'm sick and tired of these things. I HATE MY LIFE.

They say 'There is light at the end of the tunnel'. But my life is like driving in the tunnel on a moonless night with no headlamps. Only more darkness awaits me. And I can't wait for light (read sense, reasoning and/or practicality) to dawn, it's getting unbearably frustrating.

Hopefully tomorrow would mark an end to all this.

Terrible News

Just got the news,

The repair costs for my bike - Rs. 19,800

FUCK! SHIT! Only now is the seriousness of the accident sinking into me.

Connecting the dots?

BEFORE

A bottle of Betadine that I saw in my friend's room. At that time, I didn't know what it was used for.

Impressions similar to the one above were made by my wet feet on the dry bathroom floor and somehow, something as silly and ordinary as that caught my attention. And I still remember how I kept staring at those impressions for a couple of seconds.

Just as I was about to leave home, my second nephew started crying. I went back to his room and patted him slowly on the chest for a couple of minutes till he stopped.After I left home, my sister needed some cotton and my dad could only, immediately, find a sterile pad which he gave her. She thought of saying, "Someone might need it. All I need is some cotton." But she didn't, instead just thought everyone will be fine and no one would need it.

AFTER

Once admitted to the hospital, the nurse said examining my bruised hand, "I will clean it with Betadine. It might hurt a little."

Looking at my bruised hand, I thought, "Last time I fell down I bought sterile pads which I didn't use 'coz they were much larger than required. This time they will fit correct."

A silly and ordinary impression like, I will not be able to make for the next 6 weeks (atleast).

There is a certain superstition that when a baby is born satisfying conditions blah, blah, blah... the uncle is supposed to see the reflection of the baby's face in oil first, then directly. My second nephew satisfied the conditions and I was duly made aware of the superstition by a relative. Obviously, I didn't care for it and neither did my brother (the next day). I met my fate, and 2 days later while coming to the hospital to see me, my brother met with a what-could-have-been-a-serious-accident but luckily escaped unscathed. Suddenly, everyone now feels it's safe not to ignore the superstition.

Looking back, do you think there was more to what caught my eye. Could this be a way of interpreting, what Steve Jobs said, 'Connecting the dots'. Or am I just being John Nash? Either way scares me.

"Fracture" Diaries - Entry 6 - What happens next?

To answer other doubts that you may have.

What happened to the bike? - It is not in a condition to be driven. Still in Vikarabad. My Uncle's contact would soon be shipping (or trolley-ing it) to Hyderabad soon.

When will I be back on the bike again? - My family members are undecided on the future course of action. Some say it should be sold off in Vikarabad itself, and others that it should be brought back to Hyderabad and sold off. So the answer to the question - probably never :(

(But don't worry, I won't lose the bike that easily. It will still take 3-4 months before I'm back on the bike though (that too 'coz the doctor instructed so.)

What am I doing in the "Extended Winter Vacation" (as my dad put it)? - Am still on medication. And the pain killer I'm given is more sort of a sleep-if-you-feel-pain-pill. So, am mostly drowsy (read dead-asleep). I also tried to tell Advaith a bed-time story :) (FYI, I don't remember how the story ended, probably 'coz I slept before I could finish it.)

The Emperor's New Clothes

"Fracture" Diaries - Entry 5

Created on the hospital bed from my mobile Jan 6th, 11 pm

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I'm back home now... Finally (!!) and for 6 weeks.

I saw X-ray taken after surgery. The 2 wires and 4 pins with the fixator are clearly visible. Infact I didn't even need an X-ray to feel the implants in my foot.

X-Ray (Post-surgery)

Just before getting discharged, the doctor saw me again. And he said to me, "Treat these 6-weeks like a good break in your 22 yrs. Do not waste your time watching stupid telugu movies or telugu serials, where 1 guy is married to 2 women or 2 guys are married to 3 women. Do something productive and worthwhile."

So have you got any suggestions for me? Go on, am all ears. What better do I have anyway.

So Jobless

"Fracture" Diaries - Entry 4

Created on the hospital bed from my mobile Jan 5th, 6 pm

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The instructions were clear - eat nothing after mid-night, and drink not even water after 6am. I was to be taken for the operation between 9-10.

I was ready before 8, having stripped myself of every thread on my body and having worn the 'Green' dress.

"Green" Dress

But it wasn't until 11.30am that I was put on a stretcher and taken to the OT. Having nowhere to look but upwards along the way, I noticed how the lights were placed farther and ceiling became progressively darker with each passing door. We finally entered a large wooden door with dark glass panes, into which my dad and brother weren't allowed, and this was the darkest room of all.

OT

Then I was pushed into the next room, which was much brighter. In the center, lay a bed, to which were attached two huge hemispheres with a dozen bulbs on each. Lot of activity was going on in this room.

I was sedated and a junior doctor tried to give me anesthesia (for hips and below) and caused me much pain, after which the senior doctor took over. I slept and was woken when I was being taken back to my room, which was around 5pm. The doctor returned for a check-up and told me, "The surgery went well. We have put wires for extra support and put PoP on the leg. But you shouldn't walk for next 6 weeks."

I don't believe in God, he is the one doing bad things to me.

"Fracture" Diaries - Entry 3

Created on the hospital bed from my mobile Jan 4th, 9 pm

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Just when my cousin, who had heard of my accident and come to see me, was leaving, a barber entered. He said he needed to give me a shave. Granted, I wasn't looking in the best of shape, but did I need to look handsome for a surgery or was I expected to kiss the nurse?

I asked him the name of the patient, just to confirm that he had come to the correct patient, and he had. He took me to a closed room and gave me the strangest shave ever - naval downwards. I hadn't, till then, ever imagined that I would leave my private parts in the hands of someone I had never met before, especially a guy.

Just as I was preparing to sleep, I got a call from a family friend, who had just returned from the States. Although he is about 60 yrs elder to me, we are comfortable in talking to each other. It took about 15 min for our discussion to turn towards bike accidents and hospitals, and I revealed to him the condition and location of my self.

To cheer me up, the old man then told me a joke, not quite a joke but something that served the purpose -

One day a doctor was walking down the corridor of a hospital when he recognized the man being taken into the ICU to be his old friend. So he went up to him and asked, "Hello David, how are you?" and David replied, "Am fine, thank you."

If you ask me now how I'm, as already have a long list of people, that would be my answer too, "Am fine, thank you."

A frame I found in the hospital (truly cute, ain't it?)

My lunch. Idly? No. Two balls of rice (and it tastes better than it looks)

"Fracture" Diaries - Entry 2

Created on the hospital bed from my mobile Jan 4th, 4 pm

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It's past noon now... and I'm waiting in my room.

The appointment with the doctor went well. A Digital X-ray was taken and the analysis was "3 fractures and 1 dislocated toe in the right foot".

X-Ray (Can you spot the damage?)

While dressing up my foot, the junior doctor pulled my little-toe hard, to, as he called it, "relocate" it. I shrieked in pain.

Surgery was inevitable for the remaining 3 toes, and has been scheduled for tomorrow morning. Unable to even touch the ground with my right foot, I sat confined to a wheel chair in the Waiting Lounge, while, dad and brother-in-law completed the formalities to get me admitted. You wouldn’t believe, but going to the restroom seems an ordeal too.

Have to survive like this till tomorrow morning, it's only 4 hrs past noon still.

Learning to use the Walker (seen speaking to my cousin)

"Fracture" Diaries - Entry 1

Created on my bed from my mobile Jan 3rd, 11.30 pm

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I'm crying now... Not because my leg is hurting but with the thought that how could I have been so irresponsible, so casual and take-it-for-granted about everything. And that I also risked the life of a close friend.

About 7 hrs before, shivering as if I was standing naked in Antarctica, I looked on as my friends tried to lift my bike lying some 8-9 ft below road level. We both had just been pulled up from where we were lying - about 6-7 ft below the road level. Just 30 sec earlier we were happily chatting on the bike and the trip seemed a very memorable one. I was driving very slow, on the extreme left and had both my hands on the handle. Yet the trip became memorable, for regrettable actions on my part and we ended up visiting the local Mission Hospital (which obviously wasn't part of the plan).

I still remember those 10 sec when I felt close to death. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. But luckily, the other one wasn't hurt badly. Infact, as per my friend even I wasn't hurt much, "tu bach gaya bey, just 3 fractures" (you are saved, just 3 fractures).

Not willing to be operated in Vikarabad I told my dad everything and he came to pick me up. In the meantime lots of calls were made. Someone from my uncle's paper working in Vikarabad arrived within minutes. The best orthopadecians and contacts were listed and my brother-in-law's far-relative in Kamineni Hospirtal was finalized.

I'm now at home waiting (in pain) for tomorrow's appointment. Have taken two Paracetamol tablets - would doze off soon.

My Hand

The (Fractured) Leg

This is how I spent the entire night

Advaith II

Advaith's younger brother was born today (Dec 31st) at 8.26pm. Below is the new born's pic taken when he was just 2 hrs old and below that is a video of Advaith (obviously very excited to meet his little brother).

And this is how we celebrated New Year (in the hospital).