Guys and Gals

A friend of mine recently told me, its been ages since I criticized girls on blog. Then it must be ages since I wrote too.

In light of recent events, when literally every line of mine was misunderstood, I find it necessary to put a Disclaimer before I begin.

Disclaimer: I’m no misogynist. Just like it pretending to be one, I guess. Besides, those who know me well will vouch for me that I don’t really mean all things I say, especially bad things. I’m the kind of guy who says “Get lost, I never want to see you again” followed immediately by “I will pick you up at 10 tomorrow, be ready”.

So if you cannot read something and forget it if you don’t like it, then you better not read further (and I mean it).

---

1. They run the show, from behind the scenes.

Yesterday I was having two independent conversations with a close friend of mine (S) and his GF (B). Below is how the conversation went:

ME: So S is coming to Hyd this weekend?

B: Yes, but he said he will meet you and won’t have time to meet me.

(Yeah, right. Last 4 times he was here, he didn’t meet me.)

ME: I’m recovering now. Maybe we can all go for a movie. Avatar 3D or Valentine’s Day should be good.

B: We have seen Avatar, but he wants to see it again in 3D. Ask him, he is the deciding authority. And you should treat us.

ME: Why?

B: Because you have recovered.

ME: (can’t say NO to a girl now, can I?) eh? Sure.

(Simultaneously I was also chatting with S.)

ME: Shall we go for a movie this sat?

S: Wait, let me confirm. (After a while) Yes, noon should be nice.

ME: I am desperate to watch Avatar in 3D. Let’s go?

S: Yeah, I want to see it 3D too this time. Let me confirm. (After a while) She says we have already seen Avatar. Let’s go for Valentine’s Day this time.

ME: hmm

(Back to B.)

ME: so did you speak to S?

B: No, evening time. he would be in his gym.

ME: then who told him about Valentine’s Day?

B: Does he say, let’s go for Valentine’s Day rather than Avatar? Wait, let me speak to him.

ME: (BLANK)

What more can I say. (Actually I have given above only excerpts from the conversation to fit the context. But I can tell you, I actually found B to be very sweet.)

---

2. Every confrontation will end with them having the last word, “You are wrong” or “I like you”.

Like... she isn’t avoiding you. Just dealing with you has become difficult, so… Besides, you are wrong… and she likes you.

---

3. If she is a girl, she idolizes SRK. And this has changed the dynamics of many a relationship, more so post-MNIK.

If you are in a party and want the hottest girl on the floor to be interested in you, your best pick-up line would now be:

Guy: Hi, My Name is Khan. (even better if you can say Kk..kk.. Khan)

Gal: wowwww.... really?

Guy: and i have Asperger’s Syndrome too....

Gal : that is so cool.

Brighter side of this infatuation? We (guys) now have one simple line to make HER to break-up with us (which also keeps our sensitive side happy by not having had to hurt her) - “My Name is NOT Khan”.

The distressing side? Time is short. He is supposed to be superhero in his next movie. So, unless you can shoot webs, fly, jump buildings, I don’t think we have got a chance.

---

Random quotations (ofcourse all are my original, so – DISCLAIMER applies)

- They say Man evolved, what about women?

- Behind every successful man, there is a woman. I say, look closely and you will find more than one.

Back on 2 feet...

Hoorah! Today, I took my first steps - on both feet and without any external support. Ofcourse, it was not for more than 10m but that's good enough for me to proclaim - I'M BACK (or will be, real soon).

"Fracture" Diaries - Entry 8 - 6 weeks, THE END !

Feb 14th - 6-weeks since the 'Event'. 6-weeks full of motivational-highs and emotional-lows. But its over now. I celebrate Valentine's Day with the loss of my "Implants" (my piercings).

6-weeks have gone by, yet the memory of that day still haunts me. Thin, curved, one-lane ghat road – lost in talk with the pillion rider – appreciating the beauty of the landscape - rocky muddy stretch lining the road – the slope next to it – the only protruding rock (which would hit my leg, and pull-off my Woodlands shoe) – a log (which I missed falling on) – and my bike lying far below in a broken state.

A few more incidents that I can never forget:

(In Vikarabad)

Doc: Do you drink tea?

Me: Yeah sometimes.

Doc: And what about beer?

Me: (Ahaa, I can see where you are getting at.) No.

(While being examined after taking the X-Ray)

Asst. Doc: This toe got dislocated.

Me: Ok.

Asst. Doc (examining closely): Can you move it?

Me: Am not able to. It hurts.

Asst. Doc: Ok. (And pulls at it as if pulling cork out of a wine bottle and it snaps into place.)

Me: (Screeeeeeeeeeam)

Asst. Doc: Try again.

Me: No, still not able to. (but it now hurts a goddamnillion times more. Why would I come to a hospital if I needed tradition bone setting. Is my toe even still there?)

(Inside the Operation Theatre)

Nurse1 (to another nurse): How long do you think it will take?

Nurse2: Maybe about an hour.

Nurse1: That’s what they always say. They said same yesterday but it took 3-4 hrs. Had to bone gratification and all.

Me: (Oh SHIT!!! )

(Inside the Operation Theatre)

Sr. Doc: See the spinal cord, inject here.

(Jr. Doc does something)

Sr. Doc: Press here… a little above… and inject.

(Jr. Doc does something again and I twitch.)

Sr. Doc: Why does he feel pain? Do again… like this.

(Jr. Doc does it again and this time I don’t feel anything.)

Sr. Doc (to me): Lift your legs.

Me: I’m not able to even feel them.

Sr. Doc: Good, then the anesthesia is working.

Me: (So you were testing your students? Was I his mid-sem test? Fail him, he took 3 chances.)

1 dislocation and 3-fractures, 1 POP slab, 2 K-wires, 4 pins and a fixator, lots and lots of bandage, and 6-weeks later – The bones are back in place. Not back to normal, but atleast I can keep my foot down (for namesake).

My leg finally sees the light of day. Although it doesn't resemble the other foot much, by color or texture, it’s always good to have two legs to stand on.

Swollen, darker and with skin peeling-off like for a snake

I never really liked piercings.

Goodluck Jonathon and Patience

Nigeria's new (acting) President - Goodluck Jonathon. His other name is Ebele, which means God's wish.

His wife's name is Patience. (Well, he didn't much of this virtue as they say his rise was meteoric.)

My Photo Blog

I have started a Photo Blog (thru d Aperture) too :) The link is http://www.photoblog.com/kuchibhatla/

Changes in my life

January was quite a roller-coaster ride of a life for me, emotionally and physically, and the most rocking one at that. Not the rocking of "That was a rocking party", but the rocking as in "shaking". But soon I found myself again and am in the process of a total reformation now.

1. I'm more optimistic now. I have shun my lack-of-confidence or inferiority complex. Afterall,

God made me tall, dark and handsome. Atleast 66% so.

2. My motto is Early to bed, early to rise. And I have already begun practising half of it.

3. And I have now begun to believe that Stupidity is a virtue and Ignorance is bliss.

Apple iPad (Continued)

The iPad won't sell in Bengal. Why?
Because they wouldn't know it's something new. They'd think it's the iPod.

And this comes from Sayesha.

Apple iPad (Updated)

The best example of what happens when you beat market expectations too many times.

As with all Apple products, there was a lot of hype prior to the launch and a lot of talk post it. In short - a lot of free media coverage. But what iPad got extra is, and I bet Jobs didn't expect this, countless parodies - beginning from the "no-brainer" iTampon tweets to elaborate videos (animation included).

After watching a short 4-min clip of Jobs unveiling the iPad, my first reaction was... Not about the iPad, but about Jobs - must say, he seems to have lost a bit of his charm. But what could he possibly do if all his research team could come up with is an oversized iPod Touch.

But who cares about the original keynotes. Here are some light-hearted (but true?) takes on the iPad.

How many 'Phenomenal's is the iPad ?

The Touch atleast fits in your pocket. How do you carry the iPad? (via Joy of Tech)

The Verdict? (This one is H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.)

All said, all those parodies, and comparisons to competitions amount to nothing. I still think, the iPad is a game changer. Its mere presence in the market will push benchmarks higher and also bring in more worthy competition, iPad 2.0 included. And atleast as long as Jobs is alive, Apple would definitely hold the 'WoW' factor - I'm sure it would be a worthy competitor by all measures - sales, most importantly.