A friend of mine recently told me, its been ages since I criticized girls on blog. Then it must be ages since I wrote too.
In light of recent events, when literally every line of mine was misunderstood, I find it necessary to put a Disclaimer before I begin.
| Disclaimer: I’m no misogynist. Just like it pretending to be one, I guess. Besides, those who know me well will vouch for me that I don’t really mean all things I say, especially bad things. I’m the kind of guy who says “Get lost, I never want to see you again” followed immediately by “I will pick you up at 10 tomorrow, be ready”. |
So if you cannot read something and forget it if you don’t like it, then you better not read further (and I mean it).
1. They run the show, from behind the scenes.
Yesterday I was having two independent conversations with a close friend of mine (S) and his GF (B). Below is how the conversation went:
ME: So S is coming to Hyd this weekend?
B: Yes, but he said he will meet you and won’t have time to meet me.
(Yeah, right. Last 4 times he was here, he didn’t meet me.)
ME: I’m recovering now. Maybe we can all go for a movie. Avatar 3D or Valentine’s Day should be good.
B: We have seen Avatar, but he wants to see it again in 3D. Ask him, he is the deciding authority. And you should treat us.
ME: Why?
B: Because you have recovered.
ME: (can’t say NO to a girl now, can I?) eh? Sure.
(Simultaneously I was also chatting with S.)
ME: Shall we go for a movie this sat?
S: Wait, let me confirm. (After a while) Yes, noon should be nice.
ME: I am desperate to watch Avatar in 3D. Let’s go?
S: Yeah, I want to see it 3D too this time. Let me confirm. (After a while) She says we have already seen Avatar. Let’s go for Valentine’s Day this time.
ME: hmm
(Back to B.)
ME: so did you speak to S?
B: No, evening time. he would be in his gym.
ME: then who told him about Valentine’s Day?
B: Does he say, let’s go for Valentine’s Day rather than Avatar? Wait, let me speak to him.
ME: (BLANK)
What more can I say. (Actually I have given above only excerpts from the conversation to fit the context. But I can tell you, I actually found B to be very sweet.)
2. Every confrontation will end with them having the last word, “You are wrong” or “I like you”.
Like... she isn’t avoiding you. Just dealing with you has become difficult, so… Besides, you are wrong… and she likes you.
3. If she is a girl, she idolizes SRK. And this has changed the dynamics of many a relationship, more so post-MNIK.
If you are in a party and want the hottest girl on the floor to be interested in you, your best pick-up line would now be:
Guy: Hi, My Name is Khan. (even better if you can say Kk..kk.. Khan)
Gal: wowwww.... really?
Guy: and i have Asperger’s Syndrome too....
Gal : that is so cool.
Brighter side of this infatuation? We (guys) now have one simple line to make HER to break-up with us (which also keeps our sensitive side happy by not having had to hurt her) - “My Name is NOT Khan”.
The distressing side? Time is short. He is supposed to be superhero in his next movie. So, unless you can shoot webs, fly, jump buildings, I don’t think we have got a chance.
Random quotations (ofcourse all are my original, so – DISCLAIMER applies)
- They say Man evolved, what about women?
- Behind every successful man, there is a woman. I say, look closely and you will find more than one.
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