Guys and Gals

A friend of mine recently told me, its been ages since I criticized girls on blog. Then it must be ages since I wrote too.

In light of recent events, when literally every line of mine was misunderstood, I find it necessary to put a Disclaimer before I begin.

Disclaimer: I’m no misogynist. Just like it pretending to be one, I guess. Besides, those who know me well will vouch for me that I don’t really mean all things I say, especially bad things. I’m the kind of guy who says “Get lost, I never want to see you again” followed immediately by “I will pick you up at 10 tomorrow, be ready”.

So if you cannot read something and forget it if you don’t like it, then you better not read further (and I mean it).

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1. They run the show, from behind the scenes.

Yesterday I was having two independent conversations with a close friend of mine (S) and his GF (B). Below is how the conversation went:

ME: So S is coming to Hyd this weekend?

B: Yes, but he said he will meet you and won’t have time to meet me.

(Yeah, right. Last 4 times he was here, he didn’t meet me.)

ME: I’m recovering now. Maybe we can all go for a movie. Avatar 3D or Valentine’s Day should be good.

B: We have seen Avatar, but he wants to see it again in 3D. Ask him, he is the deciding authority. And you should treat us.

ME: Why?

B: Because you have recovered.

ME: (can’t say NO to a girl now, can I?) eh? Sure.

(Simultaneously I was also chatting with S.)

ME: Shall we go for a movie this sat?

S: Wait, let me confirm. (After a while) Yes, noon should be nice.

ME: I am desperate to watch Avatar in 3D. Let’s go?

S: Yeah, I want to see it 3D too this time. Let me confirm. (After a while) She says we have already seen Avatar. Let’s go for Valentine’s Day this time.

ME: hmm

(Back to B.)

ME: so did you speak to S?

B: No, evening time. he would be in his gym.

ME: then who told him about Valentine’s Day?

B: Does he say, let’s go for Valentine’s Day rather than Avatar? Wait, let me speak to him.

ME: (BLANK)

What more can I say. (Actually I have given above only excerpts from the conversation to fit the context. But I can tell you, I actually found B to be very sweet.)

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2. Every confrontation will end with them having the last word, “You are wrong” or “I like you”.

Like... she isn’t avoiding you. Just dealing with you has become difficult, so… Besides, you are wrong… and she likes you.

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3. If she is a girl, she idolizes SRK. And this has changed the dynamics of many a relationship, more so post-MNIK.

If you are in a party and want the hottest girl on the floor to be interested in you, your best pick-up line would now be:

Guy: Hi, My Name is Khan. (even better if you can say Kk..kk.. Khan)

Gal: wowwww.... really?

Guy: and i have Asperger’s Syndrome too....

Gal : that is so cool.

Brighter side of this infatuation? We (guys) now have one simple line to make HER to break-up with us (which also keeps our sensitive side happy by not having had to hurt her) - “My Name is NOT Khan”.

The distressing side? Time is short. He is supposed to be superhero in his next movie. So, unless you can shoot webs, fly, jump buildings, I don’t think we have got a chance.

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Random quotations (ofcourse all are my original, so – DISCLAIMER applies)

- They say Man evolved, what about women?

- Behind every successful man, there is a woman. I say, look closely and you will find more than one.

Changes in my life

January was quite a roller-coaster ride of a life for me, emotionally and physically, and the most rocking one at that. Not the rocking of "That was a rocking party", but the rocking as in "shaking". But soon I found myself again and am in the process of a total reformation now.

1. I'm more optimistic now. I have shun my lack-of-confidence or inferiority complex. Afterall,

God made me tall, dark and handsome. Atleast 66% so.

2. My motto is Early to bed, early to rise. And I have already begun practising half of it.

3. And I have now begun to believe that Stupidity is a virtue and Ignorance is bliss.

The Prestige - Movie Review

This is the review I began writing on Friday, 13th of April in 2007 and didn't touch again after. It's definitely not the final version, but I don't remember how I meant to finish it. I'm not even going to give it a try now.

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There was a central theme, which though very unrealistic, still left you wondering. That is why, I would rate "The Prestige" as the THE BEST MOVIE ever.

Unlike other movies, like say "The Departed", which are completelly void of any theme, yet leave you feeling that it was a great movie, even though you truly don't feel anything at the end of it.

However, "The Prestige" simply left you wondering. But such movies will not be appreciated as much as they deserve to be, because the audience only want to leave with the feeling of having watched

something spectacular, something extraordinary, and feeling complete. That is just the irony of life. The irony existing in this world. "A shining copper piece is better than a dusty Gold coin"

But, had the director completely understood this irony and tried to make a movie that left the audience feeling FULL and Complete, to receive the full appreciation it deserves,

then the movie wouldn't have been completely deserving anymore, even if it may have received many awards. That just completes the Vicious Circle.

And, due to this Vicious Circle, Best is not better.

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I like these two quotations from the review above -

A shining copper piece is preferred to a dusty Gold coin

and

Best is not always better.

Dreams to Disasters

Dreams create desires,
Desires lead to expectations,
Expectations bring disasters,
And the disasters kill you - from the inside.

(Posted from mobile)

The Slow and Dangerous

Man proposes, God disposes. Especially if it is me. I left office at 7.30 thinking I would reach home early today. And then I found myself in a incredibly traffic packed road and one hell of a ride back home with a little bit of (mis)adventure as well in between.

Distance: 18km

Time: 2 hrs

Road: Tar, Sand cum Water

It was a once in a lifetime experience.. and once you experience it, you would do anything to NOT experience it again. It was raining heavily and traffic was crawling.. infact even a baby could crawl faster than that. And thank god, I wasn't in a car... I would never have had the patience to sit through that traffic. It wasn't anywhere near quick even on a bike though.

But I had fun dipping my legs in the water and trying to feel the weightlessness.. kiddish, ain't it? A little ahead, the traffic policemen were diverting all traffic to the left and blocked the road ahead. I obviously wasn't going to be scared of a little pool of water so I avoided him and went straight ahead and THUMP! My bike got into a big pothole.

The front tyre went in and came out but the rear tyre refused to. I accelerated a lot but it just kept slipping. The policeman came upto and started shouting at me, saying "What are we here for? Wasn't I telling you." I got off the bike and found myself in more than knee-deep water. I tried to lift the bike with one hand while I balanced it with the other and surprisingly, I did it. It was probably buoyancy but I felt like Sylvestar Stallone for a moment. And while I hopped on the bike and accelerated again, I heard the policeman saying, "You are lucky."

All in all, amazing ride. And it also is testimony to a quotation of mine which I haven't yet published on my blog..

"Speed doesn't kill, insanity does."

My Love Life - Quote

Every girl I ever liked was either "elder to me, married or already taken" and in light of the recent developments, "is a lesbian".

"Romantic" Nik

I have been thinking from long to write a post about all the Friends in my life. But, as it turns out, I was too lazy to even get started on that :( But when I do, you would notice that Nik was one of my closest friends for about 6 years. And today, I saw a whole new side of Nik and i was inspired to write about it before I lost the zeal again.

Now, Nik is this ultra-chilled guy, who truly "lives life king-size". He would always follow his heart, but its a different issue that his heart never stays in one place. Funnily, today I saw him in a ROMANTIC mood, and it was so unlike the Nik I had known till yesterday. It was like, nik and NiK - same, yet different.

Nik, this girl  - Aar - and I were students of Ramaiah (IIT Coaching) and it was where Nik first saw her. I knew she was his first crush, but thats all I knew. Apparently today, 27th January, was her birthday and he called to wish her. He now claims, hearing her voice was what brought about this change in him today and I leave his story to be told by his own "romantic" quotes. His quotes are in Italics and my comments, where necessary have been mentioned in {}

since one year i've been waiting for this chance.. i realised it when i heard her voice.. her voice.. her sweet voice.. saying "heyyyyy!! hiiii!!!" oh boy! someone awakened me.. i want to go to Mumbai.. NOW {She is in Mumbai now, for her studies.}

she was my first crush.. you know.. i still couldn't understand why?  serious.. this is one mystery unsolved.. i used to get tensed whenever i got to see her... i felt it was something different.. my heart used to beat fast and faster.. 

i dont believe in love at first sight, but... wtf was THAT {I think this is the best of the lot}

i forgot who he is when i met a new character in myself, ME  {When I told him he reminded of SRK, this was his comment.}

romanticists express, editors modify..  {This was when I tried to correct something}

serious ga cheppali ante, i have no reason but i somehow like her ra.. endharo chala chepparu.. she is bad.. she has attitude ani.. but i find her simple and really really perfect..  {"Seriously, I have no reason but I somehow like her... have heard many things about her - she is bad, she has attitude... but i find her simple and really, really perfect.."}

unpadd ko kale akshar bhainse ke barabar hai!  {This was shot at me when I told him I couldn't understand his love story}

Sorry Niks, its not like I can't understand your feelings... it was just to pull your leg... And I really hope you find the dream girl of yours (before your heart jumps over to some other girl).

Hard work

Work is never a problem...... Hard work is.

Bachelors Vs Slaves

After Bachelors, you go on to do Masters... But sadly, men who decide not to be bachelors end up as slaves.

Phrases that Spell me

Laugh and let laugh

Mera Naam Joker

Keep no secrets; If you know something, then its worth sharing

I'm not who I'm but who you want me to be

There is no black or white, they are just different shades of grey

Once an IITian, always an IITian; desparate yet single - forever.

MY Quotes

Most people write their favorite quotes in their blog. But the following one-liners are all very much my own and so obviously they are also my favorite quotes :)

Ask Why not, not why

Perfection is just an Approximation

I am so second-grade in everything; even my blood group is B+

Hard work pays. But if you are stupid, then it will pay the wrong person.

The basic rule of Biking - The wrong side is always quicker