Letter to Diro (just for laughs)

I found this letter, which I had written on 24 September 2006, lying in my mailbox. It was originally meant only for fun (and it still is) and circulated only within the core group. Thought I should post it on my blog and save it for eternity. :) This is the original version, all the grammatical mistakes exist as-is.

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Dear Diro,

   We, from the team of THE ENTREPRENEURSHIP CELL, IIT Bombay are proud to announce IDEAZ has successfully completed one more year of its life (which seems to be short, considering the views of Prof. Amarnath :P )

   The IDEAZ competition was succesful, in every sense. The competition included workshops in all IITs, or was planned to include workshops in all IITs. But, the authorities there proved to be more useless than at our IIT. They didn't even allow US to invite a speaker to talk to THEIR students for NO COST at all. On this day, I am really proud to be a student of IIT Bombay. Atleast, here we are only expected to accompany our coordies to the Shack Phone Booth (then y do i keep a coodie. I wud as well make the call myself). Also, the concern the institute takes over our personal health is hugely inspiring. Keeping in view the environment concerns, we are have been "requested, not forced" to not keep any motorised vehicles. But we are welcome to travel in the Tum Tums (which seem to take a tourist ride through the institute) The Tum Tums are really available only when there are no students are going to their classes. This initiative has hugely brought down the traffic concerns over the "narrow and congested" roads of IIT Bombay.

   Coming back to IDEAZ, a workshop was organised in almost all the departments. And the enthu shown by the Profs for the same has truly been awesome. However, the students seemed to have faced a little difficulty in attending them, cause the timings clashed with their Mess timings ( :P ). This was like a boon to the team, as we then got the opportunity to attend the workshops which were otherwise expected to be jampacked. The whole team, especially the coordies, got to(read 'were forced to') attend the all the workshops from CS to Meta. I would like to share a few events with you. In one workshop the Prof. spoke about the entrepreneurial opportunities in his department. His session was particularly enlightening, and I would remember it for whole of my life, cause that was the day, I got to know how the number of people hired (in manufacturing, R&D and few other shitty areas) has varied from 1965 to 1995. Another incident involved a Prof. speaking (fluently) for only 1hr and 20 min (of his scheduled 30 min), but ending with a "Don't listen to people like me who are themselves very confused in life."

   The entire 2 months (and a zillion posters, banners, flexes, flashes) also involved humorous incidents where posters were torn, and fights settled over which third of the notice board belonged to whom. It was particularly pleasing to see the Inst. Cult. body, fighting for their "zeroeth" part of the board. Being the director of this truly awesome(i truly believe this.) institute, I would like to invite you to give away the prizes to the winners.

Thanking You,

The Ecell team,

P.S. I hope everyone in your family stays fine, and that your son doesn't get slip and fall into the swimming pool, get hit on the elbow by a football. Cause, this institute would luk a little awkward with a "Swimming Banned" notice.

Also, please pass on the following msg to ur son from our side. "Dear Son, watching porn on the LAN is very bad. Please note that the quest for your enjoyment could end our only means of enjoyment."

'Those who condemn politics to be the last resort of a scoundrel are 

bound to be ruled by scoundrels' - Plato

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The Best Of Worlds

You can't put it better.. The author (Sandipan Deb), Deputy Editor of Outlook (as on May, 2000), is an Electronics Engineer from IIT Kharagpur. He also met his wife at IIT.
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Contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of IITians do nothing of note in their lives. Indeed, many of them became IITians because their parents told them that's what they should mug their butts off for, and aim to hit the US of A, so that's what they did. They attended classes, took notes, passed exams, took the gre, applied to a dozen American universities, and disappeared into that country's vast technological underbelly, to reappear only in the matrimonial columns of Indian papers with a dollar salary multiplied diligently by the day's exchange rate. Or they stayed in India, working at unexceptionable jobs, doing reasonably well. In either case, they got beautiful brides (often from rich families) and presumably lived happily ever after, meeting classmates once a month and chatting about their IIT days, and how Hippo has just changed jobs, and Zap is three rungs away from the top in Cisco Systems. Each of them had intelligence well above the average, and most, exceptional academic tenacity.
A decade and a half out of IIT, I wonder how many of us IITians achieved our potential? How many went to seed in remote dusty townships, tending massive pipelines and drinking in the township club? How many wilfully walked away from their natural talents in favour of safe MNC jobs selling diapers and hire-purchase schemes? How many, trained to think rationally and without bias, never managed to figure out the nuances of Indian office politics, and were relegated to obscure corridors in huge buildings? How many, obsessed with the American dream, settled for second-rate US universities, hung in for a green card, and today work at unfulfilling jobs in Idaho?

There's another angle too to this. How many IITians, determined to stay engineers and in India, ignored the siren songs of the USA and the IIMs, and joined Indian industry, only to find that all the technical designs came from abroad, that you couldn't change them even if you knew they were flawed, that all the engineering you got to do was maintenance, and knowing all that, they either settled into mediocrity, or went off to the US or the iims?
What was my IIT education all about? It was about IITians: 400 academically exceptional boys (and 12 girls) on a campus, which, in the case of Kharagpur, where I went, was far enough from civilisation to have very interesting effects on our coming of age. Many of us were truly extraordinary. There were boys from village schools who were leagues ahead in knowledge of the urban convent-educated type. There were those who mugged night and day, or simpered at professors from first benches, and there were those who also had a vibrant and busy life outside academics. I've found that the latter did better in life, even in fields like pure research. I also had friends who never needed to study, they had been apparently born with engineering wisdom in their genes. There were guys who spent most of the semester in a drug haze, but sobered up a few days before the exams, cracked them, and went back to their pharmaceuticals. Others did not have such control. Like Allen Ginsberg, I too saw some of the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. A few dropped out (I met one of them years later in Shillong, a stridently devout convert to Catholicism, and a lowly government clerk, but he seemed happy), a few killed themselves. But, most of us survived. I suppose we became tougher, more mature, more knowing, and more aware of our dark sides.

We lived and ate together, and shared our joys and heartbreaks and good times and bad times, in competition and camaraderie. We compared our philosophies and, bit by stumbling bit, developed our value systems. Never were stronger bonds forged between young people. Years from now, if I meet an IIT wingmate on the road, I know we will carry on as if nothing had changed, and nothing actually would have. A couple of years ago, there was a small visual trick on an Outlook cover, which was my idea. A close IIT friend, whom I had not been in touch with for years, called up from Singapore: "Some other name is mentioned in the cover credits, but it was your idea, right? I know the way you think." No one knows me better than these mates of mine from IIT.
IIT was also a whole insular world in itself, complex and complete, and it sucked us in. As The Chosen, we lived a full life with no necessity of any contact with the outside world. Totally cut off from politics and "the bigger issues", our delights remained in competing fiercely on the field or the stage with other hostels or other colleges. There were few material pleasures. Lifestyles were spartan, the food abysmal. The vast majority of males were totally deprived of female company. The girls lived a strange life-on the one hand, they were hounded by dozens of would-be suitors; on the other, they faced the petulant hostility of the majority which saw them as undeserving of so much adulation and so many free lunches.

When we graduated, we went out into the world with a rare confidence and strong tribal loyalties. The confidence eroded a bit over the years, and we learnt some humility when we discovered non-IITians as smart as we were, and also people who could outwit us because they were intelligent in a different way-in a sly political way-an acumen we had not developed in our isolated environment which, above all, inculcated a sense of fairness and a respect for ability. We came to terms with a world that compared poorly with our beloved campus, and some of us even went ahead and conquered it. Others didn't do well, but knew that the ties between them and the masters-of-the-universe classmates would never change. They were ties born of the pride of being an IITian. That pride would never diminish.

It never can.
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Guys - Class 1 to 3 to 1

(Me wanting to write this post could be a result of having fallen in love with the song "Emptiness" by Rohan Rathore, which by the way I must have heard a 100 times today alone, and I'm listening to it right now too. This post is purely about guys and their relationships with woman.)

I was out recently on a dinner party with my colleagues (all guys), and as was bound to happen, the topic turned towards women and relationships. It was then, that I realized, that all of us were on the 'same page' (as the IT folks say). We all had successfully finished Class 1.

Class 1: One true love, which doesn't work out but ends up changing your life forever. Not life as much as the attitude towards it and everything important about it. Few even end up committing suicide, and they don't exist today anymore. I would like to call them losers, but out of respect for the 'ones no-more' and otherwise, I shall save that term for later. The ones who are bright enough to go on with life, are still dead inside nevertheless, with the word 'COMPROMISE' etched deeply into their heart and brain and every other part which could try to make a decision. I guess, it's not only about girls but about one big failure, and could happen to anyone.

After Class 1, those few who passed with distinction join Class 2.

Class 2: The second type of guys are those who are very practical about what they want. Section A: Some can talk, walk and behave everything nice, could say something like the guys from Delhi, or call them womanizers. They target a woman, get her, then they (are wise enough to?) think about the next woman. Section B: Others are the IIT-BITSians types - geeks, nerds, gamers, etc. {For the record, real IIT-BITSians are never just nerds. I know of IIT-IIM guys who got a blow-job in a taxi from a woman his mother's age, who dated air-hostess' and always fly for free to different parts of the country. But then, the normal junta would never have heard of them, not until 15yrs later as CEOs of some of the biggest firms. They are, what we call, 'Studs'}. So yes, the womanizers and nerds are passionate people, so focused on their 'needs' that they really don't care much about what all they are missing in life.

Are they more practical? Yes.

Are they insensitive? To an extent.

Is not-being-sensitive good? I always wonder.

Losers? Lets wait and see.

Apart from a few from Class 1, Class 2 is made up mostly of those who are born that way, or as I would like to put it, who never grew out of the way they were born. The rest of Class 1 moves on to Class 3.

Class 3: Deep inside, they are the nice guys. They are full of mad and crazy so-called 'principles', which never ever helped a man be a man before. Lost in their own deep philosophical thoughts, they can be emotionally volatile. They are the ones who would write posts such as this, or read it till here without calling out loud, "WTF?". Not their fault ofcourse, they are just lost in transition. They try to be someone they are not. They are like Schumi driving a Taxi Cab, like Stevie Wonder begging on the streets, like Ross trying to pull off a Joey, or like Joey trying to get a woman by cracking Gold in the Maths Olympiad. In terms of women, if they met a naked woman in a dark alley,

Would they want to make out with her there and then? Yes, they are guys too. (Cover, F***, Forget rule).

Would they? Hell no. They would give her clothes and drop her safely at her home.

Would they cry within the next day that that woman never called back saying she was madly in love with them? Definitely.

Losers? Do you doubt? Has anyone ever won a 100m Sprint race by swimming in the pool?

(Personal Opinion - better to take Class 1 over and over again until pass with flying colors.)

The sad part, though, is that, while all guys can classify all guys into the above 3, there are hardly any girls that can. They all say, they would prefer Ross/Chandler any day, but look at all the men in their lives and all you would see are Paulo, Joey, Joey, Paulo... which is also why almost every guy has passed Class 1, the unlucky few, multiple times.

My Day, My High'ness

Experience began around 3am on Children's Day, Nov 14th. Below is the post I wrote from a different world,  unaltered. Sorry about the grammar, that was the best I could do then.
(Have added my comments, if any, in italics). And a couple of names have been removed.
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I am so high now, everything looks bigger now. I am saying things faster than I am to think.


I am being rude to people now?


My heart is beating so fast.


I'm feeling so HIGH. :)


I know how dumb should I be to want to write this blog post. But I just want to remember this night forever in MY own words. it feels so dumb to me myself.
...


SorrY A*, for acting so rude all this time, while u have been trying to make a conversation abt F1 all this time.


I will put this on FB tomorrow.


Take me back home please.
...


At this time, I feel like .however dumb ur defense might be, I wud say Yes to you. U can convince me easily at this time. Try this 'SHIT' on James Bond, he wud speak.


Am I home yet ?


What's going ON? It feels so funny, I want to write all this, just so I can read it later tomorrow to amuse myself and to share all of this with my friends so that they can make more fun of me and amuse themselves. Still I'm convinced this is the right thing to do.
...


Weren't we closer to Home ages ago?
...


Oh, don't drive so fast. R u Ob Boosters or what? NFS? Cheatcodes? Hahaha.


Just get me home and help me sleep. But I promise (to myself) I shall share all this with all my close friends). a great start to an evening which ended badly, but just to end the day on a 'HIGH'.
...


help me sleep, someone. Help me. I need movement to stay normal. I can type faster than the screen can display. I feel like I am following myself with a camera like in those reality shows, something like in the movie - Crank. You know, as if you are looking at your childhood after going back in time.


Don't worry, I won't puke on you, don't give mw that look.


By the way, it also feels like you have just had bhang. Sh*, you were right, this IS good SHIT. But it feels like its the best thing I have done. likeMote (like more) proud that I didn't do anything, than I DID 'something'.
...


Help me get to tomorrow morning soon, help me, this IS getting me crazy. Like shown in those cartoon films - black wave is trying to gulp a little white caricature of a man. Well, something like that. (wow, that sounds so Phoebe.)


(my friend was watching TV in the Hall) thanks for playing that music, it actually me distract my mind. 'jaane tu ya jaane na'? - she REALLY never knew... Ah, PJ (am I becoming a Chandler now?)


My hands shaking so much I can't even hold the phone properly. Thank you Nokia's predictive text, Cudnt have down it without You. FUCK the iPhone, go get a Nokia. Tagline - I'm Tiger Woods.
...


Why am I only imagine Lisa and Bhare laughing at this post madly by this time, and wanting to share it with all their friends. (to myself: I'm so trying to go backwards n correct my grammar errors, but i want to see it clean n tidy tomorrow, unedited, not even by myself. I think I've left numerous great one-liners above. Oh! N I also was being a Monica earlier. N now, this is Phoebe.

Now, I also see Makhija laughing his Ass off at all this SHIT of a post.

...

Damn! News? Seriously? Why? (he was now watching News on TV)
...


Whom am I amusing by writing all this post? Is it really as funny as it sounds to me right now? What if I don't like it myself tomorrow? (wow, I feel so Shakespeare'an now. Gotcha with the spelling, thank you Nokia).


(lisa stop laughing.)
...


But I don't really think you would have gotten here still understanding the whole joke. this is one of those mazes even that character (of Mahabharata) can (can't) get out of.


Now its 3.45. Will I just stay awake till noon.? somewhere long time back it was 3.20 when I finally got home.


Old Hindi songs now (on TV)? No! An Ad of those. That's even worse (in Joey's tone typical).


Lisa, if you are any bit of a Friend, you should seriously scold me never to do this SHIT again.


How do I sleep? Water doesn't help either.


Old majestic songs (on TV again), huh? No! Its the start of another News. Shut it, shut it. Oh, he did! (you know,w its getting so hard to keep up in typing with my thoughts. I'm like typing 5min after I said it. I'm like imagining stuff 5min into the future. This is time travel. (Note: this was a compulsive joke.)


okay, all of us just missed something, even me. It wud have been like hottest thing on Youtube, if video taped. I thought of a joke and I tried to type it, but was so stuck on the first line... Or first para... That I actually forgot the joke.
...


I should name this 'Memoirs of a * * man' ... Never before seen version, unless you have experienced it.


'Must read, unless you have experienced it.' ... New York Times.


Bestseller.
...


They should tape me at this instant, and use me to publicize this SHIT, n also to show to little kids in school, what they should never do. (never in CAPS).
...


you know, I feel every line in this post is a 'master piece'... A work of art. (in the tone of that Spanish/Italian/French guy showing off grandeurity.


But hell, it still can't express my feelings as I'm feeling them. To hell with words. I wish I could video tape myself, n show my own self how I was a few hrs before that terrible headache (after waking up) happened. (ah, I feel so good, my jokes have become more on the good side of PJs.


More water.
...


U know I read a couple of paras above this, n it felt so dumb, not as funny as I was thinking. Sounded like made up fun to me.


I am dumb n a slow retard (what's that?). Bah! I'm bored now.


I can't even sleep. I roll over, n it feels like having had a lot of that petrol-colored liquid to u. A little is enough with me though.


Damn, those \§&, spoilt a great evening. (I meant those %$^#$ who spoiled a great evening)
...


Just realised, I feel as if I'm transforming now, literally, physically. My skin feels like its peeling out of my skin, now its better. blood circulation? I think.


I ought to send this post to some psychiatrist to psycho-analyse me.


Damn, they didn't have to leave like that. (they is them %$^#$ again)
...


Imaging back in time, I think (n feel) like I have been writing some awesome (in italics) post like some RGV film, that builds up the suspense greatly... Except that I can't remember where I started... Same like RGV.
...


oh, my mouth was dry, I was getting thirsty, so I felt like my skin peeling.


Oh people. never do such SHIT ever, else this is what you become.


9 hrs later...


Everything still feels so different. People are crossing the road too fast.my bike has no brakes, have to get that fixed.


Its so strange, everything feels so new. This is the road I take everyday to go home, but today it feels wider and better. (The GHMC guys should give everyone this SHIT, then no one will ever complain.)
(I didn't even have that headache I forebode)


I still remember that they spoilt what was supposed to be a great evening. But hell, today seems a new day.


My bike has no brakes, damn. Let me reach home soon, n I'm not getting on my bike again today.


13 hrs later... (back on bike already)


I want chocolate, loads of chocolate. ate a lot of sugar, n Dark Chocolate powder.


And you know what I would name this post, My day, My High'ness. :)

Guys and Gals

A friend of mine recently told me, its been ages since I criticized girls on blog. Then it must be ages since I wrote too.

In light of recent events, when literally every line of mine was misunderstood, I find it necessary to put a Disclaimer before I begin.

Disclaimer: I’m no misogynist. Just like it pretending to be one, I guess. Besides, those who know me well will vouch for me that I don’t really mean all things I say, especially bad things. I’m the kind of guy who says “Get lost, I never want to see you again” followed immediately by “I will pick you up at 10 tomorrow, be ready”.

So if you cannot read something and forget it if you don’t like it, then you better not read further (and I mean it).

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1. They run the show, from behind the scenes.

Yesterday I was having two independent conversations with a close friend of mine (S) and his GF (B). Below is how the conversation went:

ME: So S is coming to Hyd this weekend?

B: Yes, but he said he will meet you and won’t have time to meet me.

(Yeah, right. Last 4 times he was here, he didn’t meet me.)

ME: I’m recovering now. Maybe we can all go for a movie. Avatar 3D or Valentine’s Day should be good.

B: We have seen Avatar, but he wants to see it again in 3D. Ask him, he is the deciding authority. And you should treat us.

ME: Why?

B: Because you have recovered.

ME: (can’t say NO to a girl now, can I?) eh? Sure.

(Simultaneously I was also chatting with S.)

ME: Shall we go for a movie this sat?

S: Wait, let me confirm. (After a while) Yes, noon should be nice.

ME: I am desperate to watch Avatar in 3D. Let’s go?

S: Yeah, I want to see it 3D too this time. Let me confirm. (After a while) She says we have already seen Avatar. Let’s go for Valentine’s Day this time.

ME: hmm

(Back to B.)

ME: so did you speak to S?

B: No, evening time. he would be in his gym.

ME: then who told him about Valentine’s Day?

B: Does he say, let’s go for Valentine’s Day rather than Avatar? Wait, let me speak to him.

ME: (BLANK)

What more can I say. (Actually I have given above only excerpts from the conversation to fit the context. But I can tell you, I actually found B to be very sweet.)

---

2. Every confrontation will end with them having the last word, “You are wrong” or “I like you”.

Like... she isn’t avoiding you. Just dealing with you has become difficult, so… Besides, you are wrong… and she likes you.

---

3. If she is a girl, she idolizes SRK. And this has changed the dynamics of many a relationship, more so post-MNIK.

If you are in a party and want the hottest girl on the floor to be interested in you, your best pick-up line would now be:

Guy: Hi, My Name is Khan. (even better if you can say Kk..kk.. Khan)

Gal: wowwww.... really?

Guy: and i have Asperger’s Syndrome too....

Gal : that is so cool.

Brighter side of this infatuation? We (guys) now have one simple line to make HER to break-up with us (which also keeps our sensitive side happy by not having had to hurt her) - “My Name is NOT Khan”.

The distressing side? Time is short. He is supposed to be superhero in his next movie. So, unless you can shoot webs, fly, jump buildings, I don’t think we have got a chance.

---

Random quotations (ofcourse all are my original, so – DISCLAIMER applies)

- They say Man evolved, what about women?

- Behind every successful man, there is a woman. I say, look closely and you will find more than one.

I'm Most Punctual - FB App says so

Most Punctual? ME ?

Who was I compared to - Indian Railways?

Volkswagen Beetle... in India

Have you heard the news? Volkswagen Beetle to be launched in India, with a price tag of Rs. 20.45 lakhs (ex-showroom, Delhi).

Would you buy this little (pun definitely intended) piece of metal that looks like 3 semi-circles (discounting the two black full-circles, otherwise called tyres) welded together so beautifully that it could easily the "Cutest car ever" award, if there was one, while also making everyone, men and women alike, fall in love with it, for little over 20 lakhs? I wouldn't. Obviously, 'coz I don't have, in my account, even that "little over" over 20 lakhs.

But what I meant is, (if a fairy came and put Rs. 20.45 lakhs beneath your pillow with a note reading,

Use this money wisely to buy a car (it's a paradox but spare me) and I would return tomorrow to give you more.

Love,

Gossamer Moonglow

(or whatever your fairy is called. I found mine here.) would you?

Granted, it's not exactly 'People's Car' at 20 lakhs. Or maybe that's how the Germans classify(-ied) 'People's Car' as -

No taking your dog for drives. Or bringing laundry back home. Wear your finest suit, take your kids for a drive on Sunday and clean it yourself in your garage the rest of the week. You can't even trust your chauffeur with it.

But jokes apart, if you wanted to spend Rs. 20.45 lakhs, then this car could very well be your wisest choice:

1) It comes with 72-yrs of history, history that every soul on the planet has definitely heard of, if not know it. Now, that's EXACTLY what we want, don't we?

2) You would also be living Hitler's dream (even if only a fraction of it), if you like that perspective. Another vehicle that owes its popularity and development to Hitler (and WWII) would be the Tank. Bug is definitely wiser, wouldn't you think?

3) Small is beautiful. Whereas, other companies only try to punish you for spending 20 lakhs by giving you huge, over-sized boxes, when all you wanted was 4-wheels with a roof.

4) It should be more eco-friendly (compared to the other vehicles you get for 20 lakhs) - smaller, lighter and only a 2L engine.

5) It's a sure head-turner. It's simply so pleasant to look at, that it will make you turn your head, even if you were driving one yourself.

Besides all this, the Beetle will infect everyone with a smile, which is what fairies want - spread happiness (according to my nephew's story book).

CONCLUSION - If your fairy found you, the BEETLE is your car. And I'm going to leave a chocolate under my pillow tonight (just in case fairies love chocolates). Ms. (or Mrs.?) Moonglow, are you reading?

Advaith's Photography

Today I showed Advaith how to click pictures on my phone. And below are his first few takes.

At first, he just pointed the phone at my mom (like a TV remote) and clicked a couple of times.

After this I showed him how to point the camera. Below are the pics he took after that.

(I have resized the original pictures to reduce their size.)

Advaith's (cheeky) replies

My aunt and uncle came home today to meet us (but the obvious yet unspoken truth is - to meet my nephew and sister). My aunt was having a conversation with my nephew and was trying to have fun pulling his leg, but this is how it ended.

Aunt: I will take your thatha (Grandfather) with me.
Advaith: Voddu (Don't)
Aunt: I will take your Mother with me.
Advaith: Voddu... (after 10 sec silence) take that dog.

And he pointed to a toy dog of his which he doesn't play with anymore.

Another instance.
Aunt: Neeku aam evaru pettaru ivala?
Advaith: Amma
Aunt: Amma kadu, nuvvu Ammamma deggara tinali. Ledante Ani Mama deggara tinali.
Advaith: Ledante NUVVU vochi pettu.

She resigned. And I think "But he is only 3 and 1/2 yrs old"

(Posted from my mobile)

Dreams to Disasters

Dreams create desires,
Desires lead to expectations,
Expectations bring disasters,
And the disasters kill you - from the inside.

(Posted from mobile)

As BAD as it gets

12am on the morning of 17th or night of 16th, whichever way you like to look at it, I decided to switch-off the light and go to bed as I was hardly able to even hold P.G.Wodehouse's Stiff Upper Lips in my hands. But 4 hrs later, I was still awake... Unfortunately all the stupid thoughts decided to enter my head the instant the room went dark. Don't know when I finally fell asleep.

Had to wake up by 7.45am as I had a call to take at 8.30am (these days we are having two Conference Calls everyday - one at 8.30am and another at 6.30pm.) Lack of sleep, low on energy and long, possibly boring presentations on the Agenda for the day made me lose all hope of having a good day. Only positive note was I planned to leave from Office quickly to meet a good, old friend.

5 min after waking up, I'm already shouting at my dad (for something really silly, obviously). Crappy start for a day. Bad omen to start the day on. And if I had had my way, I would slept again and woke up at 11am to make a fresh start to the day. But that wasn't to happen. So I took the call from home, reached office by 9.30.. only to realise that I had no mood to work. I was already looking forward to the evening. ;)

Work can't be done without laptops... lappys are useless without Internet... and Internet isn't complete without without Facebook... So I open Facebook, and the first thing I see is that some of my friends are attending a play on Saturday. I had nothing to do on Saturday, so booked myself for the play. Within the next 15 min, a couple more friends had replied on the thread and a conversation took off which also turned sour in 10 min and I made a comment about my friend (the one whom I was supposed to meet in the evening). My day continued to be bad and I was just dragging myself within the office. What a boring day! Little did I know how eventful my day was to become towards the end.

11.50am: I get a 'hate' sms from my dear friend, "If you don't want to meet me, then say it directly". I hate such threatening messages, especially when sent unprovoked. (okay, I accept, did spark the fire).

Noon to 3.30pm: Sloooow, dragging presentations with the Client. I hated him so much. Why did he have to visit our Office. Couldn't he too have just been on one of the Conference Calls as the others.

With our egos the size of Zeppelin's in the sky, especially mine being larger than an Airbus A380, by 5.30pm, the debate with my friend had reached unstable heights. And I didn't leave Office as I had originally planned.

By 7pm discussion is now on GTalk while the topic remains the same (silly, yes, but important too) when I have to am required in the call. 7.30pm I'm back but she isn't there anymore.

I go back home, have a couple of fights with my Mom and finish my dinner. All the while, checking my phone to see if she had left any reply (Around 8pm I had asked her if it was still possible to meet and discuss). No reply yet. Told you, ego... it had bloated to the size of Titanic by now. And mine was competing with Mt. Everest already. So I sat down to write my WORST (or best?) Hate-mail ever written. It was so insulting (mostly untrue and completely silly) that even I didn't read it twice. After drafting (rather randomly typing) for more than an hour, I click SEND at11.30pm exactly the time she pings me on GTalk again.

Don't know how the conversation was meant to take-off, but once she received my mail, I could feel missiles hitting my face through the screen. It seemed as if I had pressed KILL ME instead of SEND. She literally blasted me. Misunderstanding was everywhere. She didn't get the point of the mail, nor the names I called her. She thought I called her a prostitute. I didn't. I meant something more like a slut (she isn't, but I had to call her something. It's a Hate-mail, remember?).

The conversation, rather the (1482 lines of) argument continued till 2.50am on the morning of 18th (that is about 2 hrs back). Conclusion? Same as every argument, I was right and so was she. But acting like grown-ups, staying calm and pretending to be in total control of our selves, we decided that we would never speak again. And we split up like this -

me: watever makes you happy

Her: My happiness is not in hurting the other one

so let's be

me: eh ?

2:49 AM Her: I don't want to make you feel bad as those last days again

me: ok..

thnx for saying that :)

have a good night then...

2:50 AM Her: have a good night

me: bye

Her: bye anil

I was tired (carrying that Everest-sized ego now hurt me) and laid down to sleep. As I looked back at the evening, the first thought that struck me was "WHAT THE FUCK !!!". And as I went through the mail and the conversation again, the same thought struck me over and over again until my head start aching. And by 3.30am my head became clear(er) and my ego had reduced to the size of an Amoeba. But the damage done was still the size of that largest crater (wherever it is, I think Australia. But that's not the point here.)

Immediately I messaged her on the phone praying that she hadn't slept yet. She hadn't. Obviously. Feeling foolish like me maybe. No, she still happened to be in the shoes of the grown-up. So after texting for another hour, and still sticking to our ends of the conclusion of the argument we parted ways the second time (again never to meet again, ofcourse).

I tried sleeping. Obviously I couldn't because I'm here writing this post now. Actually within 10 min after laying down my throat started hurting. Maybe this was why I was having a hard time swallowing the consequences of my actions. I just couldn't do sleep. I had to write about this.

And now its 5.50am. I feel back at IIT, except that I didn't have to wake up at 8.30am to take a call back then. I'm definitely not going to work after waking up.

I'm going to try that mind-effect, whatever it's called. You concentrate with your mind and whatever you want happens. Magic, but not quite. So I'm going to concentrate my mind on my throat just so much that my voice gets distorted, but I don't get a tumour.

Adios, baby!

The Best of Worlds

The below article was published by Sandipan Deb on May 29, 2000. Sandipan is an Electronics Engineer from IIT Kharagpur and was then the Deputy Editor of Outlook India. Currently he is Editor-Magazines, Indian Express Group. You can also find the original article here.

Every IITian I have showed this article to, has been able to relate with every single word. And so do non-IITians.

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Contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of IITians do nothing of note in their lives. Indeed, many of them became IITians because their parents told them that’s what they should mug their butts off for, and aim to hit the US of A, so that’s what they did. They attended classes, took notes, passed exams, took the gre, applied to a dozen American universities, and disappeared into that country’s vast technological underbelly, to reappear only in the matrimonial columns of Indian papers with a dollar salary multiplied diligently by the day’s exchange rate. Or they stayed in India, working at unexceptionable jobs, doing reasonably well. In either case, they got beautiful brides (often from rich families) and presumably lived happily ever after, meeting classmates once a month and chatting about their IIT days, and how Hippo has just changed jobs, and Zap is three rungs away from the top in Cisco Systems. Each of them had intelligence well above the average, and most, exceptional academic tenacity.

A decade and a half out of IIT, I wonder how many of us IITians achieved our potential? How many went to seed in remote dusty townships, tending massive pipelines and drinking in the township club? How many wilfully walked away from their natural talents in favour of safe MNC jobs selling diapers and hire-purchase schemes? How many, trained to think rationally and without bias, never managed to figure out the nuances of Indian office politics, and were relegated to obscure corridors in huge buildings? How many, obsessed with the American dream, settled for second-rate US universities, hung in for a green card, and today work at unfulfilling jobs in Idaho?

There’s another angle too to this. How many IITians, determined to stay engineers and in India, ignored the siren songs of the USA and the IIMs, and joined Indian industry, only to find that all the technical designs came from abroad, that you couldn’t change them even if you knew they were flawed, that all the engineering you got to do was maintenance, and knowing all that, they either settled into mediocrity, or went off to the US or the iims?

What was my IIT education all about? It was about IITians: 400 academically exceptional boys (and 12 girls) on a campus, which, in the case of Kharagpur, where I went, was far enough from civilisation to have very interesting effects on our coming of age. Many of us were truly extraordinary. There were boys from village schools who were leagues ahead in knowledge of the urban convent-educated type. There were those who mugged night and day, or simpered at professors from first benches, and there were those who also had a vibrant and busy life outside academics. I’ve found that the latter did better in life, even in fields like pure research. I also had friends who never needed to study, they had been apparently born with engineering wisdom in their genes. There were guys who spent most of the semester in a drug haze, but sobered up a few days before the exams, cracked them, and went back to their pharmaceuticals. Others did not have such control. Like Allen Ginsberg, I too saw some of the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. A few dropped out (I met one of them years later in Shillong, a stridently devout convert to Catholicism, and a lowly government clerk, but he seemed happy), a few killed themselves. But, most of us survived. I suppose we became tougher, more mature, more knowing, and more aware of our dark sides.

We lived and ate together, and shared our joys and heartbreaks and good times and bad times, in competition and camaraderie. We compared our philosophies and, bit by stumbling bit, developed our value systems. Never were stronger bonds forged between young people. Years from now, if I meet an IIT wingmate on the road, I know we will carry on as if nothing had changed, and nothing actually would have. A couple of years ago, there was a small visual trick on an Outlook cover, which was my idea. A close IIT friend, whom I had not been in touch with for years, called up from Singapore: "Some other name is mentioned in the cover credits, but it was your idea, right? I know the way you think." No one knows me better than these mates of mine from IIT.

IIT was also a whole insular world in itself, complex and complete, and it sucked us in. As The Chosen, we lived a full life with no necessity of any contact with the outside world. Totally cut off from politics and "the bigger issues", our delights remained in competing fiercely on the field or the stage with other hostels or other colleges. There were few material pleasures. Lifestyles were spartan, the food abysmal. The vast majority of males were totally deprived of female company. The girls lived a strange life-on the one hand, they were hounded by dozens of would-be suitors; on the other, they faced the petulant hostility of the majority which saw them as undeserving of so much adulation and so many free lunches.

When we graduated, we went out into the world with a rare confidence and strong tribal loyalties. The confidence eroded a bit over the years, and we learnt some humility when we discovered non-IITians as smart as we were, and also people who could outwit us because they were intelligent in a different way-in a sly political way-an acumen we had not developed in our isolated environment which, above all, inculcated a sense of fairness and a respect for ability. We came to terms with a world that compared poorly with our beloved campus, and some of us even went ahead and conquered it. Others didn’t do well, but knew that the ties between them and the masters-of-the-universe classmates would never change. They were ties born of the pride of being an IITian. That pride would never diminish.

It never can.

Fundamental Rights

15th Aug, 1947 to 15th Aug, 2009 - 62nd year of Independence. Lots of development happened in these years. In my childhood, we were taught of "Unity in Diversity" and today I'm hearing "India Shining" and "Incredible India". Honestly, I don't know what is so "Incredible" about India and neither can I see the "Shine". And while the "Diversity" is true, I'm not so sure about the "Unity" part.

And looking back into the 22 long years I have lived so far (of which I only remember about the last 6-7 yrs) I found a few things I could crib about. And they generally revolved around one thing - I have not even been provided my Fundamental Rights.

Aren't the "Fundamental Rights in India" guaranteed to every Indian citizen? Well, technically YES and as per the verbal usage in the Constitution, I'm even exercising my rights. But in the essence of it, I think we lost them long ago and never even realised it. Blame it on Society (ourselves)/Politicians/Law and you wouldn't be wrong.

I didn't even remember the 6 Fundamental Rights from my 9th Class Social Sciences course, so I had to read a little from the net, which you can find here. In this post, I would like to concentrate mainly on:

1. Right to Equality

2. Right to Freedom

4. Rigth to Freedom of Religion (yes, that's our Fourth Right)

2,4. Right to Freedom / Right to Freedom of Religion -

Right to Freedom relates to speech, expression and to move about within the country and the latter relates to, as the name implies, Freedom to follow any Religion. Together, these two rights give you the Freedom to form any opinion and also the Freedom to express it. With Press being given such a free hand in our country, I can't crib anything about that, can I?

But, this is what I think these 2 Rights were included in the Constitution for - to let everyone live in harmony by giving everyone the Freedom to think and move about freely within the country and live life as they deemed fit, and not be forced by someone else's opinions. The idea was that each one leads an independent life and not intrude into another's space. I would like to be treated as a responsible adult, form unadulterated opinions of everything that is happening around me, and take decisions for myself. I would like to settle and work in any part of the country.

The men and women writing the Constitution might have envisaged a happy India with many religions being practised by its citizens, but what they seem to have missed is the chaos that comes with diversity. We have so many religions being followed with each sect having its own presumptions about the nature of the others, that the whole purpose is defeated. I now have to deal with the Ram Sena's telling me how to live life "morally" and Shiv Sena's clearly voicing that non-Maharashtrians are not welcome in their state. To add to this are the inflammatory speeches made by idiots (read: likes of Varun Gandhi), enlarging of the communal, regional or caste-wides divides by political parties (can't single out any here) and of preachings/speeches made by "religious leaders" which are manipulative and biased in their content (such as Hindu Jagruti).

This proves it, I am not being given my Fundamental Rights of Freedom. Infact, if I had done better at Mathematics during school, I would have proven it to you that it is not possible to give everone the Right to Freedom without creating a mess. I would say, revoke my two Fundamental Rights of Freedom, which are but for namesake. Instead, replace them with a LAW OF TOLERANCE - a law which treats "intolerance towards any human/sect/community/caste/region or any other discrimination factor as a punishable offense". I want the word "tolerance" drilled into the mind of every citizen and into the heart of the society. And until then, I would rather live in a country of NO religion than a country of MANY religions.

Because we still have people who think Pakistan is bad, because they fail to get it that a certain few individuals do not necessarily reflect the qualities of a nation. That way, atleast Pakistan is ruled by a man who had it in him to reach the top. Unlike us, where we are ruled a woman who just happened to be the grand-daughter-in-law of a great man.

1. Right to Equality -

It is commonsense that, we are born different, we think different, we are at different levels - socially and financially, then how can we all be treated equal. This Right guarantees us equality - equality before the law, equal access to public places, equality in matters of public employment.

But in reality, it is just another of those "namesake" Fundamental Rights. Because, also written into the law is that "special provisions may be made for women, children or socially or educationally backward classes". See, the very Law that's supposed to treat us all as equal is trying to divide us. So, while you are waiting in the long queue at a temple, a politician or his wife's uncle's cousin's stepson might just get a VIP pass. Same goes with court matters or applying to a public post. While in some cases, it's unofficial "recommendations", it is "special provisions" in the rest. And the bottomline - there is NO EQUALITY.

But, don't bother. Because equality is like a man conceiving a child. It's just against the very law of nature. After all, even if I were more capable than Vijay Mallya's son, he would still leave everything to his son, right? Why else do you think sons, daughters and nephews of all actors, directors and producers are coming back into the show-business. What's worse is that, we are today being ruled by men and women who just happen to be the grand-daughter-in-laws or great-grand-sons of men who once ruled India. And these are the people who we trust are going to safeguard our Right to Equality. Right, why not.

But who is the culprit? Who snatched away my Fundamental Rights? I guess the answer is everyone of us. The politicians and a few other men - for their own greed and selfish motives. The court, for having let antisocial elements make our system seem like a farce. And the rest of us, because we stayed silent and tolerant of all the wrong things.

And I would like to end with what Rabindranath Tagore wrote decades ago and what still holds true. Only, we should now say, not "Country", but "Every living being"

LET MY COUNTRY AWAKE

Where the mind is without fear and the head held high;

Where knowledge is free;

Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;

Where words come out from the depth of truth;

Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;

Where the mind is led forward by Thee into ever-widening thought and action;

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

The Shutter

It's an open secret that I'm not bold. I mean, I am not daring enough to try the "new" thing... true... but what I am saying here is that - I am scared. I am scared of the dark, of lizards and of horror movies. And I left more than a hint of that in an earlier post.

I have mentioned the movie "The Shutter" in the earlier post too and since then I intended to write this post describing why I am scared to this day to even think of that movie. But before I tell you what actually happened the night of the movie, I will have to give you a synopsis of the movie.

Plot (better not read this if you don't want the suspense to be revealed)

Shutter is actually a Korean movie (I think) and anyone who has watched it would definitely rate it as one of the best horror movies ever. It's one of those movies where the suspense is steadily built (that's it.. I can't take it any more. It's past midnight and I am too scared to even think of the movie now... I will continue this post again some "day". For now, let me check my bank statement... hopefully, my deplorable "financial" condition shall divert my mind.)

My Love Life - Quote

Every girl I ever liked was either "elder to me, married or already taken" and in light of the recent developments, "is a lesbian".

The longest day ever* to mark the completion of One Year

I have just completed one year of my first job!! Hurrah!! And guess what it's been full of - Emotions and Attitude, loads of attitude. Let's go back in time and I'll tell you what happened.

2008 Summer: My BTP (B.Tech. Project) Guide had extended the stay of both the guys under him by a couple of months. It was only the second time in my life that I had failed - academically, but how it happened is a story worth telling (and I leave it for another post). To cut the long story short, I had to stay in the campus while others relaxed at their homes. Or to put it in a different way, I was enjoying in the campus while others were rotting at their homes. One night around 3 am after a game of volleyball, a couple of movies and a game of cards, I left for Alibaug beach (in Mumbai, about a couple of hrs from my hostel) to watch the sun rise - with my friends in a friend's car - and returned 4 days later from GOA. But in these four days, my Prof. had asked my friend to submit his BTP report as he himself was going to Russia and I missed the chance. So I continued to stay in the campus with nothing to do but enjoying hell lot. Finally, I "Graduated" on June 28th, reached Hyderabad on the morning of 29th and joined my first company on the 30th day of June.

1 year on, 29th June, 2009: It was Monday morning but I got up by 6.15 am and got out of home by 7.45am. Reason? The next batch of Campus Hires were joining and my Manager asked me if I would join them for a day during the induction. After all, they would have plenty of questions to ask and would open up best to only someone like them. It's a really hectic week for me but I still wanted to join the new Campus recruits for half a day. By 8.15, I was at Novotel for the induction.

365 days earlier, 30th June, 2008: It was my big day. The first day at my first job. But I had to be woken up from my slumber. 8am already and I had to reach Novotel by 9. I finally reached only (thanks to my Dad who drives really fast)15 min late. Everyone had lined up and were moving in after signing on a sheet of paper and proudly collecting a shirt that had "DELOITTE." embroidered on it. Within no time we all had settled in a really huge hall. We were all awed by the super-magnificence of Novotel, the huge hall, the scale at which the induction was organised, the size of the batch that had been recruited. Everything just seemed so huge, so imposing. Soon, we were welcomed by the Partners, Directors, Sr. Managers and had some long sessions for the first two days on everything from What-Deloitte-Is to Finance to Transport to What-our-work-would-be. Everyone was excited. Yet, almost everyone felt drowsy on both the days. "Students will be students". It takes time to grow-up.

Now, 29th June, 2009: And here I was, volunteering to help with the induction of the new batch of Campus Hires. Apart from facilitating the fun-events being organised, my job was to speak to the new joinees, to make feel comfortable and clarify the numerous questions they are bound to have - or to put in a couple of words, "PLAY HOST". Me - whose voice was never taken to mean more than a suggestion at home, me - who was never taken seriously even by my friends, was now, ME - who would be giving out advice to others. Okay, it didn't really happen like that (maybe, I screwed it up) but I still felt as good. And I was attending the sessions of all the Directors and Partners all over again. But this time, I didn't feel sleepy in the least. Infact, I had pulled up a chair and listened to them attentively. There were some new speakers too and also a couple of old ones. One of the Directors started out in the exact same manner as the last time I heard him. It really was like Déjà vu. He gave an example of how his son once asked him a question and how he digged deep into the details and unearthed a lot of information. And guess what, it was the same question I had heard last year. It's amazing how his son never again asked him another question the whole of previous year. Maybe he thought, "Daddy just digs deep into unnecessary details." But jokes apart, he was just as motivating as last year.

So after the lengthy sessions, some fun-events, and networking with the new Campus Hires over breakfast and lunch, I got back to office by 2.30pm. I went to the gym around 9pm and when I returned at 11 I found a mail in my Inbox saying some work couldn't be completed. I decided to finish that before leaving so that others could continue normally the next day. I finally left at mid-night. Dropped a friend home and reached my place at 12.45am. 17-hrs long day. The longest ever* I would say.

*for me. And considering day starts in the morning and I'm doing something other than watching movies or chatting over the day.

Overall, it was a wonderful day even though a bit tiring. For once, I felt big. I felt responsible. I felt OLD. And I felt like telling my ex-girl friend, whom I dumped when she told me "Grow up", "I have".

But on a more serious note, this one year has truly been a life-changing journey for me. And as I said at the beginning, it's been full of Emotions and Attitude.

There was a reason why I chose to work and not go for higher studies. And MONEY was definitely not on the list. I wanted a change in my attitude, I wanted to grow-up. And more importantly, I wanted to see the "old Anil" back in my who would take everything as a challenge and wanted to kick out the "Anil" who got into me during my time at IIT, the "Anil" who was too-easy going and one who had no goals, no ambitions and was content with watching time fly-by. And I wanted to see the joy of achievement again in myself.

And quite opposite to what I had expected, I was on bench (or jobless, not literally) for 6 months. 6 months to make new friends, 6 months to laze around. I even watched a couple of movies in office. There were days when I would come to office at 12 and leave by 6. 3 hours everyday, I would spend in the Cafeteria or the Barista. And I was being paid all this time too. It was probably the happiest time of my life. But life wasn't a bed of roses even then. The pressure of having to think about how all my peers were on projects while I was still on bench, affected Utilization, blah blah was pretty depressing. It was a time when life a roller-coaster of emotions, happiest in the morning to totally depressed 5-hrs later. Yet, it was also these 6-months when I made some really amazing friends. Friends-for-life and also friends-who-made-my-life. It really wouldn't be much if I dedicated a part of all the successes I might achieve in the future to these wonderful guys and girls, from whom I got to learn so much.

Jan 2nd, 2009: I got hired in Dec, 2007 but joined my first project only in 2009, on the second day of the new year. Every day on my project, my Manager would ask me, "Can you do this?" and I would reply, "I don't know. This is my first project. But I think I can if I'm taught how." and he would say, "I can see how much you can do". So, I was mainly left to reading about the project until Jan 28th, when I got the first big taste of "actual work". 5 and a half months old into the project and experienced in 2 work-streams, I was asked to take lead within my team. The word "team-lead" could be a little deceiving here, but it's true that I finally feel more content. I can tell you truthfully that I had once again experienced the feeling of "achievement" and "satisfaction", feelings that were lost for the past 4 yrs unknown to even me.

And the price of all this? The second half of year gone by was the start opposite of the first 6 months. The time I spent with my friends got steadily lesser and probably reached rock bottom today when I couldn't be with my friends to celebrate the completion of First Year with Deloitte. It was ofcourse, my decision. If I could find time to be at the induction yesterday, I surely could've also taken out time to watch "New York" with them. But that is just how much the priorities have changed over the last 6 months and also how terrible a movie, New-York is.

This was the Emotions-ride over the last year. As far as the Attitude-part is concerned, I shall keep it short and to examples.

1. There was this girl with whom I spoke atleast once almost every single day of my life. I showed a lot of attitude but she would always bear me. One fine day I tell her that my closest friend was back from the US and I wanted to introduce her to him and she doesn't turn up. Now we aren't on talking terms.

2. The closest friend from the US who was here, we made plans to have a Guy's Night-Out at another friends place over the weekend before he went back. But he said he was busy shopping on Fri, Sat and Sun and didn't turn-up. I was totally pissed-off and didn't meet him after that. Now he is back in the US.

3. Another friend who is here on vacation called me 3-weeks after she landed. And she even made it a point to mention it to me. You know what happened next.

And please don't leave any comments on the Attitude-part. I put them on this blog only because I feel my blog as more private than a confession-box in a church. Also, they were actions I kind of regret and don't want to repeat. They were put here solely for the purpose that I keep my temper in control in the future. Interesting to note here would be that all three events are still fresh in my mind as they happened in a span of a week and not more than 15 days ago.

But still, what an year it has been. Wishing that the next year would also be as good would be being greedy.