How Jobs ruined my life

Wednesday, June 11th 2008: The iPhone 3G was finally launched after much hype... And on the same day, IndyMac had to close down. Now, I wouldn't say it was due to the launch of the iPhone but the iPhone's launch did have other consequences. One of which was - it ruined my life, atleast it marked the beginning.

The iPhone had created a lot of buzz even before it was officially launched and this made Steve Jobs - a very happy man. And when he officially revealed the iPhone 3G, everyone knew instantly that he hadn't let down their expectations. It was stylish, had lots of features, had more features, had even more features - in short, a true Apple product. The latest versions of the iPod and iTouch were launched too. And this is where it all started.

Everyone now wanted an iPhone, iPod and/or iTouch and this made the Sr. Management at Apple rich, rather richer. They now bought Ferraris and Porsches to greet guests at the gates, while they themselves roamed around in Maybachs and private jets. And how did they get all this money? From the kids and adults alike who craved for the sexy iStuff.

Johnson's friend Dickson had an iPod Shuffle; so Johnson asked his dad, John, for one too on his 13th birthday. John gifted him an iPod Nano 8Gb. What a sweet family, but actually what a cunning Dad. John had an investment banking firm and he increased his firm's fees so that he could pay for all the iStuff he needed to buy. Dickson now asked his dad, Dick, to gift him an iTouch for his 13th birthday. But, Dick was a true dick-head - he was just an employee in a company making designer wear. So he asked his manager for a raise, who asked her manager for a raise and who asked for raising the salaries of all Sr. Managers. It was now not the question of Dickson's iPod but of all the Dicks and their sons and their iStuff. The raises had to come and Dick gifted his son, an iTouch. And how was this possible? Designer wear got costlier still.

The situation now was something like this - Investment firms were charging very high fees and were giving lesser returns to their investors. All designer stuff, whether designed or copied, was getting costlier. So a kind of status-mania started spreading, through a world filled with sky-high-desires and cash-crunch. Even India wasn't spared.

With the prices of everything going up, the Indian manufacturers of everything's fake counterparts too started raising the prices. Afterall, even they wanted to gift their kids the iPhone. The end result? An original pair of Adidas shoes costs around 2-3k, while their fake counterparts (made with material that would last 6 months, at best) costs 1000/-. I'm forced to buy shirts from Peter England or Urbana for 2k, or from Provogue and Indian Terrain for 1.5k. Even the shirt from never-before-heard-of French Republic costs 600 now.

So I end up spening small fortunes every month shopping for my bare survival. And where does all this money go? To the Hrithik's, Aishwarya's and who-so-ever's face appears on TV or on a Bill board, so that they can gift their kids and spouses - the iStuff, Porsche's and BMW's. No wonder, there are atleast 3 Porsche Cayennes (one grey, one white and one black), a couple of Mercedez SLKs (one red and one grey), a Porsche Boxster (black) and countless number of BMWs - in Hyderabad alone. Worth mentioning is the Bentley of the Bachchan's and the white Lamborghini recently spotted in Delhi.

That's how fucked up my life is - and all this without even bringing the "Netas" into the picture.

My new Digicam

The latest entry into my life - a new digital camera. Infact, this is the first camera I can call - MINE.

I deciding about an year and a half back, that I needed to buy a camera - not because we didn't already have one. Infact, compared to my dad's DSC-H5, this one is literally NOTHING - by price, by features, or even by sheer size. But that's precisely why I decided to buy another camera, besides wanting to buy for the sake of buying one. The H5 is the big bully of all camera's, a Digital Semi-SLR that only serious photography enthusiasts would want to buy. It's also one of the coolest camera's, simply because none of your (sensible and Associate Analyst-level) friends would be having one. Everyone loves it, including (especially?) girls - I realised this when I took the H5 to a party at my Office. Trust me, never before has a girl liked something I held in my hand (leave alone liking me.)

Anyway, I decided that I needed a smaller, sleeker camera which I could carry around in my pocket, and one which had all the feautures I required - a click button and zoom. So from the beginning, I wanted to buy a Canon Powershot because it more than met my requirements. Besides, we already had a Sony in the family and in all likelihood we were about to get another one. That's right, my brother was so impressed with the H5 that he too wanted to buy his first camera. I desparately tried manipulating his thought-process in two ways: one - don't buy a Semi-SLR, and two - even if you did, don't get a Sony. I failed. He wanted nothing less than a Sony DSC-H50! (and there is nothing above it in Semi-SLRs). Half the reason why I failed was my Brother-in-law. (It's worth a mention here that my bro-in-law also owns a Sony - a T9.)

So I didn't want another Sony. Next obvious choice was - Canon Powershot. But they have so many Powershot models - after going up the numbering ladder and releasing the A720 IS, Canon came down to release a A470, A580 and A590IS. And again went up the ladder to release A1000IS and A2000IS. Now that's confusing. Which is the model with most features?

Now it was down to licking clean all reviews on DPReview.com, and then comparing prices shop by shop. DPReview compared about 9 cameras (including Powershot A590IS) and declared that the clear winner (and also the costliest of all)  was - Sony W120. So, stretching my budget even higher, I decided on the camera of my dreams - Canon Powershot A720IS. Yes! I would rather go one-up on the A590 than settle for a Sony. Also, the 720 had been around from quite some time, unlike the A590IS and relatively new W120.

Next stop - Koti. I had already decided that I would get my camera for the cheapest rates at the Grey Market. So there I went. I went into the shop that had CANON glowing in red neon lights, and royally demanded for my Powershot A720IS. The shopkeeper gave me the shock of my life - "The 720 is out of production and has been replaced by the (even more costlier) Canon Powershot A2000IS". Shit! But the shopkeeper was a sweet guy, he offered to sell me a Powershot A590IS or a Sony W120.

I resign!!!!! This is the camera I finally ended up buying

Boxster

On my way to office today, I saw her.. she was a beauty... a show-stopper... she stood low and her black soft-top was up. And when she moved, she moved with elegance - steady; commanding dignity and attracting attention from every direction... only way she could have attracted any more attention (if only) would have been with her top down. A real head-turner and accident-causer (remember our Bollywood movies, the girl is shown walking, and the guys start falling off their bikes? That pretty much was my case today.)

She was black and looked very sporty, even with that black soft-top. Those who know me well would have guessed right at the start, that I was talking about a car. And with a soft-top she would be a convertible. But she wasn't just any convertible, she was the Porsche Boxster. Now I doubt if I can call her a "she" as Porsche makes sporty-looking, macho cars. But then, every guy loves a Porsche... I guess, that makes them feminine.

Anyway, continuing with the story, the kid driving that car seemed younger than me and had a frown on his face (possibly from the previous night's hangover). And he suddenly floored the accelerator (or maybe just flicked his ankle a little) and off he went away... couldn't even catch a glimpse of it in the rear-view mirror. That definitely must have brought a smile to his face.

Now, there is only a thin line that differentiates the good from the bad, competitiveness from jealousy, dreams from desires - And a Porsche makes you want to cross that line. Currently I am desparate for a Porsche and am ready to do anything. Somebody tell me what to do.

Suhel Seth's interview

Suhel Seth... Ad Guru, actor, theatre person, columnist, guest lecturer... speaks to Times Now, as to how incompetent our government is. He is awesome and I don't think anyone else could have put it or said it better.

He was just returning to the Taj on 26th November, when he got an SMS from the Hotel Management asking him not to return as there is some disturbance outside the hotel. He had possibly escaped death and you can feel that emotion in what he speaks. 

He doesn't stop here... he continues on... I really wish somebody gave him a fully-Automatic gun and made all the politicians stand in a line in front of him...

There's more... There's no stopping him, but I would say every point he makes is valid.

Mamma Mia!

No surprises here.. I'm talking of the movie "Mamma Mia!".. If you haven't watched it yet, trust me, you wouldn't miss it.. unless, ofcourse, if you were a big fan of ABBA.. So here is the story in the chronological order (not in the order in which it happens in the movie)

Background: Donna is a young lovely girl whose enjoys enjoying (with men, ofcourse.. Those were the days when homosexuality wasn't still discovered.) She and her two friends, Tanya and Rosie are part of a group Donna and the Dynamoes.. Donna is clearly the everyman's "dream" girl (you know why ;) )

ACT 1: Donna has the time of her life on a Greek island and ends up pregnant. Her mother disowns her (told you, those were the days when all this wasn't really accepted). Dejected, she goes back to the Island and uses the money she inherited from an Aunt of the guy she was sleeping around with at that point of time to build a taverna. Soon, Sophia (her daughter) is born.

ACT 2: Sophia is 20 yrs old, and getting married to Sky, a guy whom she madly loves. She decides to call her dad for her wedding and coincidentally finds her mom's dairy which she maintained the year she was born. Now, here is the twist... the dairy reveals there are three possible fathers. But no problems, 20 yrs have passed and we have now reached an age where everything is accepted. So Sophia forgives her mother and invites all three possible-dad's to her wedding.

ACT 3: Dads arrive, Mom's surprised, shocked and angry... Sophia adds to the confusion and there is one big mess... Confusion continues as Mom doesn't know the father either... She seems to love Sam the most, but inherited the fortune while sleeping with Bill. Donna was also the first and last woman in Harry's life as he later turned gay... (the Dynamo power doesn't seem to have worked on poor Harry, instead it led to the discovery of Homos).

ACT 4: Sophia's big wedding... Donna walks Sophia down the aisle, as that seemed easier than identifying the dad. Harry comes forward and claims he can never have kids (obviously, he's gay) and so would want to be atleast one-third father for Sophia. Sam and Bill follow suit... MISSION ACCOMPLISHED - Dad has been identified, not 1 but 3... Sophia now decides that she doesn't want to get married after all - she just wants to roam the world with Sky... How sweet.

That's where the story ends, but I bet I know what happened next... Sophia gave birth to Momma Spears and the legacy continued.

OK, I know this is not one of my best blogs, but blame it on the movie... and the nonsensical characters...  and also their sometimes-gross attempted humour.