And your rating is...

Finally, I have a Guest Blog. This is from one of my very close friends, Paheli. It's clear he was very frustrated when he wrote this but below is the post just as he wrote it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whenever I am experiencing anything new I get very excited about it. Nothing unusual about it. But if, god-forbid, something is not PERFECT about it, I get inspired to write about it. Scream and tell the world, "Look, how wrong they are". No wonder, I criticse girls so much. (Although I say girls in general, I only intend to criticize only the stereotypes.)

Coming back, I have finished my first ever appraisal in a company. And I haven't been really impressed by it. Infact, I have been heavily disappointed by it. So, I thought I should voice my opinion immediately. And almost instantly after having decided to write this post, I had the every sentence framed up in my mind. And this is how it goes:

Location and Cast: A closed-room packed with a lot of Managers, Vice-Presidents, etc. Put differently, all the guys who call the shots in their respective projects/domains. But most of them are scared to even open their mouth here (unlike anywhere else) because, in the room are also BIGGER people than them (hierarchically). Also in the crowd are some noisy class of people. People who want to voice their opinion, even when they have none. And not to forget the FCPs (where MCP stands for Male Chauvinistic Pigs).

Procedure: A slide is brought up with an employee's details. Then, ideally, a constructive discussion must go on to discuss how well the employee has performed over the year and where all he/she can improve.

Scenario 1: If the employee's progress over the year has only been average, then he/she is immediately awarded "Average" and somebody calls out, "NEXT !!!". Everyone has only one thing on their minds, "Lets get all this done quickly. It's tiring."

Scenario 2: In the cases when the "somebody" on the slide has proven himself above the rest, everybody is silent at first. This is because everybody is waiting for one of the BIGGEST guys or the biggest mouths to speak first.

Scenario 2.1: If one of the BIG guys says, "I know him. We both get along well. I expect he would have done a good job on the project as well." And immediately, the Project Manager jumps in with, "Ofcourse, how could he not have done great on the project." And everyone agrees with whatever the BIG guy proposes.

Scenario 2.2: If instead, the discussion had started out as, "I hardly know him. How did he do in all the aspects." Then it would depend on how many BIG mouths are there to speak for him. And if he/she happened to be in the good books of a BIG mouth, or someone who is himself in the good books of a BIG guy, consider him/her to be rated "Exceptional". Else, it will understood to be written in his Development Needs, that "Need to do more NETWORKING".

Scenario X: This scenario is rated 'X' because it is special. The speciality of this scenario is rooted in the very definition of "Relativity" and its ineffectiveness in rating people. I say this because what if more than 10% of the group had done a great job and proven themselves "Exceptional" on the Absolute scale...

So, this is what you are supposed to learn from the way Appraisals are done...

1) NETWORKING is important. We have always heard this, haven't we? But we only never understood its significance. What it really means is, "At the end of the day, what is important is - Who all know you? So, leave an impression on everyone you meet.. and meet a lot of people"

2) TEAM WORK - Apart from networking you are supposed to believe in Team Work... So leave the work for your team.. It's not only you, I have heard this PJ before as well... Except that, only now can I see where it originated from and also realised that it's not a PJ..

The post I intended to write on Appraisals in companies ends here... It was meant to be an exaggerated view of showing where we were lacking perfection...

But before I got to writing this post, over some coffee-break discussion with colleagues and friends, I realised I wasn't exaggerating as much as I had thought I was... Although the blog as a whole is an exaggeration, but it is still true. In the sense that, each of the scenario's did take place in someone or the other's case..

While I was happy that my exaggerated prediction (if you could call it so) was proving out to be true, I was also heavily disappointed about the same.. And overall, I was more disappointed than I had reason to be happy.. The whole cause of an Appraisal was lost :(

Paheli

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And this is where the Guest Blog ends

Our Roads and Us

In about an year of driving to and fro my office, I have only seen one accident happen and fortunately or unfortunately, I never saw it Live. I only arrived on the scene about an hour late. But this week alone, two incidents took place.

Incident 1:

I was on my way to the office, as usual on my bike. Then along the way I saw a huge crowd at the side of the road. There were even people who had climbed the divider to get a glimpse of what had happened (such a thing can happen only in India). As I crawled through the inevitable traffic jam, I saw a couple of people who were bent double and they had long bamboo sticks in their hand. I noticed that the ends of the sticks were damaged a little. There seemed to have been a lot of beating that took place. Further there was a bike standing nearby with its seat removed. And everyone was looking on the ground. I strained myself a little - stood on my toes, bent sideways - to get a glimpse of whatever/whoever it was the crowd was lost in but I could get a glimpse of neither a body nor blood. I crossed the scene of the incident, parked my bike at the side and asked somebody who was coming out from the crowd, "What happened?", and he replied, "Snake".

Incident 2:

This incident happened just the day after the previoud incident took place. I reached a junction and noticed that the traffic was stagnant. Nobody was moving. Rather everybody had tried to move and got into the way of someone else. The result - Something similar to the pic below.

(this pic has been flicked from Hindu.com)

Everyone was stuck behind someone else in a circular kind of a fashion. Taking full advantage of being on a bike, I weaved my way through the traffic in what could have been the longest route to cover 25 m. Then I noticed what could have triggered the congestion. There was dust all over the road and half the road was blocked by some large object. Whatever it was, had fallen on the left side of the road causing some amount of damage to the one-room, tiny shops alongside the road. And the object was nothing but a, lorry. A lorry carrying dugged earth had overturned and fallen on its side blocking half the road. I couldn't even imagine how such a large, slow-moving vehicle with a full-load at the back manage to overturn. And this proves, that "IMPOSSIBLE" isn't a word in the dictionaries of Indians. It also justifies the love we have towards Physics laws-defying stunts in our movies.

My SUPERHERO

Everyone has got superheroes. My childhood superhero was Batman. I liked the fact that he was a superhero without any super powers. And his collection of gizmos was mindblowing, not to forget the Bat-mobile. And he was also RICH, filthy rich. It was wonderful - growing up as a kid. It was then that I set my goals for life:

1) Become filthy rich.

2) And attain the power to fight evil.

"A powerful, rich businessman with a secret Black Army to fight evil and teach every bad man, a lesson."- That's who I wanted to be.

But, somewhere down the line, the kid in me died. Or as they say, I grew up. I was now treading the beaten path. I did decently well in College, joined Deloitte, a great company to start my career. Although I am paid well, the possibility of maintaining a secret Black Army now seems distant. But I didn't care anymore. My only goal now - to be better than my peers.

Portraying a "flawless personality" became part of life, even if it meant fooling myself at times. Now I admired Jack Welch for his business acumen, Donald Trump for his branding and Steve Jobs for everything he means to Apple. The latest addition to My Heroes list is someone I met an year ago. He has a charismatic personality and is a brialliant writer, which makes me admire him even more. And after I read an ultra-brief biography of his phenomenal growth in the corporate world, he instantly became my role-model. He was who I wanted to be. And he is:

(For those of you who can't recognise him - he is Parag Saigaonkar, the Regoinal Managing Director at Deloitte Consulting - R10.)

I admire every single Hero on my list because each one is special in their own way. Yet, (no offense intended) none of them ever came close to Batman. While all of them have set some benchmarks in my life, I never have the connect with any of them the way Batman did. It's something like this. I greatly admire multi-talented Farhan Akhtar but I would myself never take up acting, singing or directing to match him. Maybe the fault lied in me. Maybe, I should blame it on the fact that I had become "tough" and "independent".

But 3 years ago, I met someone who changed my life forever in a way I never thought it would. HE was the main reason for me to decide on joining the Hyderabad office of Deloitte rather than the Mumbai office. And I can tell you that in the last 1 year, he has steadily grown up to match Batman on My Heroes list. Infact, as against the fictious Batman who made my dream of my future, he is teaching me to LIVE my present. He is clearly my SUPERHERO and you have guessed right, if you had guessed that my Superhero is none other than:

Advaith - my 3-year old nephew. There is just so much to learn from this little guy.

If I had to list the things I learnt from him, they will be:

1. Have a passion for life; and carry so much energy into every single day of your life that it infects others.

2. A smile is your single greatest asset. It can win hearts in seconds.

3. Dream big: Advaith's dream is to go to California in their car to get some more toys. Once he started on his bicycle to meet Nikhil (a friend of mine). Silly they might sound now, but the innocence coupled with big dreams is an amazing combination.

and the list would go on. I could probably have written an entire book if only I could put everything into words. A video documentary about my Superhero should be a better idea.

Infact, I would be honest and tell you that I went through numerous ups and downs over the last year. There were quite a few moments of near-depression. But everytime I felt low, I would go to my nephew and he would cheer me up in no time. Maybe all my friends would have listened to me patiently but none of them could have brought me back to normalcy so quickly.

But if you really want to feel what I'm trying to convey, you will have to grow up with a kid, as a kid. Only then would you learn from them, rather learn from your past - because we all were just like this when we were 1-3 yrs old. Trust me, its simply amazing.

My nephew has now begun going to the school. So, I guess from now on I will learn how "Education" and "Society" ruined me.

Infact, a year ago, one of my friends asked me to define Happiness and I said:

Happiness: a feeling when u feel on top of the world.. generally felt as a sense of accomplishment and success..

Success: when you have done something that makes others jealous of u.. then u have achieved success in that thing

Peace, as in mental peace: permanent memory loss :P so that u forget all ur probs

But today I would say, Happiness is a totally independent feeling by itself and it has got nothing to do with anything else. Infact, it should be the other way round. Success is having learnt the art of staying Happy forever.

And my 2 cents on this: Everyone has got a SUPERHERO and he is the 2-yr old in you. And the day the kid in you died, you have practically stopped living.

The longest day ever* to mark the completion of One Year

I have just completed one year of my first job!! Hurrah!! And guess what it's been full of - Emotions and Attitude, loads of attitude. Let's go back in time and I'll tell you what happened.

2008 Summer: My BTP (B.Tech. Project) Guide had extended the stay of both the guys under him by a couple of months. It was only the second time in my life that I had failed - academically, but how it happened is a story worth telling (and I leave it for another post). To cut the long story short, I had to stay in the campus while others relaxed at their homes. Or to put it in a different way, I was enjoying in the campus while others were rotting at their homes. One night around 3 am after a game of volleyball, a couple of movies and a game of cards, I left for Alibaug beach (in Mumbai, about a couple of hrs from my hostel) to watch the sun rise - with my friends in a friend's car - and returned 4 days later from GOA. But in these four days, my Prof. had asked my friend to submit his BTP report as he himself was going to Russia and I missed the chance. So I continued to stay in the campus with nothing to do but enjoying hell lot. Finally, I "Graduated" on June 28th, reached Hyderabad on the morning of 29th and joined my first company on the 30th day of June.

1 year on, 29th June, 2009: It was Monday morning but I got up by 6.15 am and got out of home by 7.45am. Reason? The next batch of Campus Hires were joining and my Manager asked me if I would join them for a day during the induction. After all, they would have plenty of questions to ask and would open up best to only someone like them. It's a really hectic week for me but I still wanted to join the new Campus recruits for half a day. By 8.15, I was at Novotel for the induction.

365 days earlier, 30th June, 2008: It was my big day. The first day at my first job. But I had to be woken up from my slumber. 8am already and I had to reach Novotel by 9. I finally reached only (thanks to my Dad who drives really fast)15 min late. Everyone had lined up and were moving in after signing on a sheet of paper and proudly collecting a shirt that had "DELOITTE." embroidered on it. Within no time we all had settled in a really huge hall. We were all awed by the super-magnificence of Novotel, the huge hall, the scale at which the induction was organised, the size of the batch that had been recruited. Everything just seemed so huge, so imposing. Soon, we were welcomed by the Partners, Directors, Sr. Managers and had some long sessions for the first two days on everything from What-Deloitte-Is to Finance to Transport to What-our-work-would-be. Everyone was excited. Yet, almost everyone felt drowsy on both the days. "Students will be students". It takes time to grow-up.

Now, 29th June, 2009: And here I was, volunteering to help with the induction of the new batch of Campus Hires. Apart from facilitating the fun-events being organised, my job was to speak to the new joinees, to make feel comfortable and clarify the numerous questions they are bound to have - or to put in a couple of words, "PLAY HOST". Me - whose voice was never taken to mean more than a suggestion at home, me - who was never taken seriously even by my friends, was now, ME - who would be giving out advice to others. Okay, it didn't really happen like that (maybe, I screwed it up) but I still felt as good. And I was attending the sessions of all the Directors and Partners all over again. But this time, I didn't feel sleepy in the least. Infact, I had pulled up a chair and listened to them attentively. There were some new speakers too and also a couple of old ones. One of the Directors started out in the exact same manner as the last time I heard him. It really was like Déjà vu. He gave an example of how his son once asked him a question and how he digged deep into the details and unearthed a lot of information. And guess what, it was the same question I had heard last year. It's amazing how his son never again asked him another question the whole of previous year. Maybe he thought, "Daddy just digs deep into unnecessary details." But jokes apart, he was just as motivating as last year.

So after the lengthy sessions, some fun-events, and networking with the new Campus Hires over breakfast and lunch, I got back to office by 2.30pm. I went to the gym around 9pm and when I returned at 11 I found a mail in my Inbox saying some work couldn't be completed. I decided to finish that before leaving so that others could continue normally the next day. I finally left at mid-night. Dropped a friend home and reached my place at 12.45am. 17-hrs long day. The longest ever* I would say.

*for me. And considering day starts in the morning and I'm doing something other than watching movies or chatting over the day.

Overall, it was a wonderful day even though a bit tiring. For once, I felt big. I felt responsible. I felt OLD. And I felt like telling my ex-girl friend, whom I dumped when she told me "Grow up", "I have".

But on a more serious note, this one year has truly been a life-changing journey for me. And as I said at the beginning, it's been full of Emotions and Attitude.

There was a reason why I chose to work and not go for higher studies. And MONEY was definitely not on the list. I wanted a change in my attitude, I wanted to grow-up. And more importantly, I wanted to see the "old Anil" back in my who would take everything as a challenge and wanted to kick out the "Anil" who got into me during my time at IIT, the "Anil" who was too-easy going and one who had no goals, no ambitions and was content with watching time fly-by. And I wanted to see the joy of achievement again in myself.

And quite opposite to what I had expected, I was on bench (or jobless, not literally) for 6 months. 6 months to make new friends, 6 months to laze around. I even watched a couple of movies in office. There were days when I would come to office at 12 and leave by 6. 3 hours everyday, I would spend in the Cafeteria or the Barista. And I was being paid all this time too. It was probably the happiest time of my life. But life wasn't a bed of roses even then. The pressure of having to think about how all my peers were on projects while I was still on bench, affected Utilization, blah blah was pretty depressing. It was a time when life a roller-coaster of emotions, happiest in the morning to totally depressed 5-hrs later. Yet, it was also these 6-months when I made some really amazing friends. Friends-for-life and also friends-who-made-my-life. It really wouldn't be much if I dedicated a part of all the successes I might achieve in the future to these wonderful guys and girls, from whom I got to learn so much.

Jan 2nd, 2009: I got hired in Dec, 2007 but joined my first project only in 2009, on the second day of the new year. Every day on my project, my Manager would ask me, "Can you do this?" and I would reply, "I don't know. This is my first project. But I think I can if I'm taught how." and he would say, "I can see how much you can do". So, I was mainly left to reading about the project until Jan 28th, when I got the first big taste of "actual work". 5 and a half months old into the project and experienced in 2 work-streams, I was asked to take lead within my team. The word "team-lead" could be a little deceiving here, but it's true that I finally feel more content. I can tell you truthfully that I had once again experienced the feeling of "achievement" and "satisfaction", feelings that were lost for the past 4 yrs unknown to even me.

And the price of all this? The second half of year gone by was the start opposite of the first 6 months. The time I spent with my friends got steadily lesser and probably reached rock bottom today when I couldn't be with my friends to celebrate the completion of First Year with Deloitte. It was ofcourse, my decision. If I could find time to be at the induction yesterday, I surely could've also taken out time to watch "New York" with them. But that is just how much the priorities have changed over the last 6 months and also how terrible a movie, New-York is.

This was the Emotions-ride over the last year. As far as the Attitude-part is concerned, I shall keep it short and to examples.

1. There was this girl with whom I spoke atleast once almost every single day of my life. I showed a lot of attitude but she would always bear me. One fine day I tell her that my closest friend was back from the US and I wanted to introduce her to him and she doesn't turn up. Now we aren't on talking terms.

2. The closest friend from the US who was here, we made plans to have a Guy's Night-Out at another friends place over the weekend before he went back. But he said he was busy shopping on Fri, Sat and Sun and didn't turn-up. I was totally pissed-off and didn't meet him after that. Now he is back in the US.

3. Another friend who is here on vacation called me 3-weeks after she landed. And she even made it a point to mention it to me. You know what happened next.

And please don't leave any comments on the Attitude-part. I put them on this blog only because I feel my blog as more private than a confession-box in a church. Also, they were actions I kind of regret and don't want to repeat. They were put here solely for the purpose that I keep my temper in control in the future. Interesting to note here would be that all three events are still fresh in my mind as they happened in a span of a week and not more than 15 days ago.

But still, what an year it has been. Wishing that the next year would also be as good would be being greedy.

Calvin and Adda

Sometime last week I read this Calvin-Hobbes cartoon strip.. (It was originally published on 13th June, 1989). As all of the others, even this one strikes you with its innocence and the Calvin-attitude..

And this cartoon reminds me of my nephew. One day he was observing an ant very closely, then came to my sis and said:

Adda: Amma, ants very bad. (Mom, ants are very bad.)

My Sis: enduku? (Why?)

Adda: enduku ante adi kinda padinavi ani thintundi. (Because it eats whats fallen on the floor.)

Talking about him, these days he is adamant that he has grown up... The other day I was at their place and was leaving for office and the following conversation took place with him:

Me: Adda, AnniMama office ki velali. (Adda, I have to go to Office).

Adda: Adda kuda office velutadu. (Adda will also go to work).

Me: Adda office enduku veltadu? akada emi undadu. (Why will Adda go for work? There won't be anything there.)

Adda: akada ki velthe, dabbulu istaru. apudu adda bathathu konukuntadu. (When I go there, they will give me money. With that, Adda will buy Chocolates.)

By now, you would already have understood that he has his own style of speaking and also has his own language. He calls Chocolates as bathathu, Aeroplane as Bui

And so bui bathathu refers to the toffees provided in the plane.

appa is water, eeya eeyo refers to Eat Street on Necklace Road, aamaks is IMAX, chental is Central, baggal is Burger, fench fies is French Fries and chauch is Sauce.

Chikkadpally, according to him, isn't an area but just a particular shop - THE shop where he once bought his toy car. Once my Mom and Dad took him to a shop in Chikkadpally to buy him a toy train, but he was stubborn that he would only buy his toys from Chikkadpally (his toy shop). So they took him to that particular shop and he was very happy about it. Then first thing he asked the shop-keeper after going in was:

Adda: Chayya chayya antunde... aa ku unda? (Do you have the train that says Chayya Chayya?)

This was because his old toy train which had broken down would sing "Chal chayya chayya " song when switched on.

There are a couple of very sweet videos of him which I will soon link to this post. Anyone would love them.