I'm Most Punctual - FB App says so

Most Punctual? ME ?

Who was I compared to - Indian Railways?

"Fracture" Diaries - Entry 7 - What happened next?

One of the first almost everyone asked was - How did my family react to the news?

My initial idea was to get the surgery done and go home then. Not that I was scared to tell them but just didn't want to scare them. I only told my brother but he ended up telling my dad and brother-in-law who them came to pick me up.

On the way back, my dad remained pretty cool and we were joking about stuff too. He even related to me a story of how he got dragged some distance by a bus when he slipped trying to get in while it was moving. This was a long time ago, before he got married. I guess, the 4 of us in the car are the only people alive now who know this story.

My brother-in-law's reaction was, "You need to take your life more seriously. You need to become responsible now. Else get married."

My mother was worried (obviously) and kept saying, "Look what you have gotten yourself into this time." Yesterday, which is about 11 days after the accident, she told me, how, in my childhood, I hit a pillar in the parking space and got stitches - twice.

My sister found a way to relate the accident to why I should do my MBA. (I'm baffled.)

My nephew, though he doesn't understand the seriousness of what happened, asks me every day why I went fast and fell. And he is the only one who has been able to make me feel guilty, sheerly through his constant questioning.

Dreams...

Found this post today in the drafts. I began it on 7/19/09 at 12:50 AM

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Writing this post was my dream.. so here goes

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God only knows what that 'dream' was :P Actually I remember too but not clearly enough to finish the post.

Talking of dreams, these days I'm getting weird dreams... some of them I can recollect I got a few years back - very similar ones (the same abandoned house, a huge empty slum, a small house with a single yellow flower in the garden and the same family living in it - only the couple living in the house were divorced this time). And its not like déjà vu either.

In some other dreams, its people I know personally, but their family, house, everything is different from real life. Like the family living in the house with the yellow flower - they are our family friends... neither do they live in that house, nor are they divorced. Another time, I dreamt that a close friend of mine belonged to a Factionist family with which I had some rivalry. But in reality, her's is a family of passionate but non-violent people.

I have bought the book "Interpretation of Dreams" by Sigmund Freud. Hopefully, he can throw some light. Atleast an "It's irrelevant" would be good enough.

Life Sucks

Yes, life sucks... I mean, MY life sucks.

I can't tell you how bad I'm feeling right now. Words evade me, more than they ever have. I have reached my personal limit and seem close to breaking any moment.

And this isn't because of the Bike Repair costs or the Hospital bill or anything financial at all. Nor is it about my right leg, that's become more a liability than an asset and shall remain so for the next 6 weeks.

It is because of all of the above put in the light of Past and Future (as I see it). You could say, Past, Present and Future together are screwing me. It's like the God of 4th Dimension - Time (I don't think we Indians have one, do the Greeks?) is fucking me left, right and center (to put in Indian Slang).

My bad luck has literally been following me like the ghost in The Shutter since beginning of December. I accept, I have a poor memory... but all I can still remember and only think of is how life should have been SO DIFFERENT. I had less than 48hrs of clear, happy time before I took the fall again, this time literally as well. And I can see what's in store for me in the Future till as ahead as March and all I see is 'More bad things await me'. Not bad things as bad things, but things that would make me sad. I'm sick and tired of these things. I HATE MY LIFE.

They say 'There is light at the end of the tunnel'. But my life is like driving in the tunnel on a moonless night with no headlamps. Only more darkness awaits me. And I can't wait for light (read sense, reasoning and/or practicality) to dawn, it's getting unbearably frustrating.

Hopefully tomorrow would mark an end to all this.

Terrible News

Just got the news,

The repair costs for my bike - Rs. 19,800

FUCK! SHIT! Only now is the seriousness of the accident sinking into me.