Extremists

"Anything to the extreme is bad." This is one rule that is valid at all times in all circumstances.

And India is a country that is blessed with samples from all the extremes possible. Not just any random samples, we have the most extreme variety of all samples. Although, this has always been cleverly portrayed as "Unity in Diversity", my personal belief is that there is unity only within each of the diverse groups (sometimes even this is doubtful), not amongst the various groups. Given a chance this country would split up into a billion-odd pieces. Think of it, corruption could be brought down to zero. (Afterall, what is the point of stealing from your own home.) And even I could dream of becoming President one day. But let me not get into that debate now.

We have extremist thinkers who don't want adulteration based on region. Best example would be Shiv Sainiks, who want all non-Maharashtrians to leave Mumbai. Then we have the extremists who go attack girls because they went to a pub and this is against our culture. (Did anyone check if the girls were really Hindus or Muslims?? They could just as well have been Christians and drinking might be allowed in their culture.)

(As revenge) another set of extremists (I think it was Renuka Choudhury) wanted all girls to go and enjoy Valentine's Day in pubs/parties. The Bangalore act of Shri Ram Sena inspired more extremists who declared they would roam around with garlands and rakhis on 14th Feb. According to them, "Friendship" doesn't exist between a boy and girl (atleast for that one day). So if you were caught roaming around with a girl, you had to be either her lover or her brother. This is something like Sigmund Freud's theory, only he went one step further still.

And, I guess, with the "Dostana" effect catching on, we won't even see two guys together from next Valentine's Day.

Amidst all this extremism are the biggest extremists of all - US (not America, but you and me). We have our hands folded and minds closed. We are so sure that we will be able to do nothing against these extremists that our attitude borders around being called "indifference".

But why doesn't anyone realise that there is a lot that we can do. We can rape Renuka's daughter next time we find her in a pub, drown Ram Sainiks in boiling oil if we find any of them drinking or smoking or kick the shit out of Shiv Sainiks if we find any of them out of Maharashtra or watching any Bollywood movie of some Delhi-born actor. NO! How can we do this? We would rather carry our "indifference" attitude to the extreme than turn towards violence.

I believe this is the ONLY reason we have stayed united - our "indifference" towards everything. And as if to mock at us, the extremists have always given us shit and we have gladly accepted it. Obviously we couldn't revolt against them.

And guess what next after taking all this shit? Its Pee. Now, this may sound like a really bad PJ to you but, its true. This time, they are conspiring to make us take Pee... literally. Read this article on Reuters.

April 1st, 1987

It was very dark and raining heavily in the densest part of some jungle. But we were on a tight schedule. So we carried on. We reached another place where it was still around noon and very sunny. We didn't stop here either. Too many "deliveries" to make - we had to move on. Then suddenly the air-bus we were travelling in made an abrupt halt and God walked over to me and pointed in the direction of some lights.

It was dark outside, but as my vision adjusted to the darkness, I realised he was pointing at a building. Looking closely, I noticed a lot of people - A LOT of people - all of them busy and running around in all directions. It was utter chaos, especially when compared to the serenity in God's presence. That's when God said, "Here is where you drop off". I was scared stiff. And which Just-about-to-be-born kid wouldn't. I told him, "But God, I would be lost in that crowd." He said, "Don't worry, I shall always be with you."

But me being ME (see, I have been like this since before-my-birth) I said, "That's fine. But still promise me I shall always stand out in any group." To which he replied, "OK, so be it."

I was pleased. But looking back, I now feel - "Maybe he shouldn't have taken me so seriously". Just look at this pic.

My Fastest

17.5km -- 20 min

Cyberspace to Gandhinagar

Date: 5th Feb, 2009

Started at office at mid-night and reached home by 12.20am (of 6th Feb). Beat that!!!

185km -- 3 hrs

Kodada (on Vijayawada Highway) to Gandhinagar (in the heart of the city)

Date: 14th January, 2009

Left at 4pm, reached home by 7pm.

Would I ever be this famous?

While writing the earlier post, a thought came across my mind - What if I become real famous like Swami Vivekananda or Warren Buffet?

Do you think all my idle remarks will be added to the List of Most Famous Quotes, and my time-pass theories be taught in the Philosophy courses?

Do you think a day would come when 10th class students are asked in their History exam -

1. Who wrote the Bike-Life Relationship theory? (1 mark)

2. Describe any 5 relationships between a bike ride and life (5 marks). With examples (another 2 marks)

3. Who said, "I am so second grade in everything, even my blood group is B+" (1 mark)

4. Fill in the blanks: "Work is never a problem, _____ _____ is." (each blank 1 mark)

WOW. I'm already loving this thought and it makes me want to become "that famous" all the more. I wish that day comes and I'm still alive till then.

Afterall, what is the point if my name enters the History books and I'm not alive to read it and feel happy about. ;)

The Biker Theories

Everyday I have to go to office, its takes me anywhere between 30min to an hour, one way, to get there. Now, thats an awful lot of "idle" time to just sit and ride. So, I also do the one thing that I enjoy most and the only thing that I have done in my entire life - do nothing, just think. I let my mind wander and, everyday it stretches the limits of where-the-thoughts-could-possibly-go-to, generally in the philosophical space.

Now, they say "An idle brain is the Devil's workshop" but who knows, maybe the Devil is a great artist. Atleast, I like to believe the Devil in me is. It is on the bike that I've come up with some of my best "theories", the latest of which is The Bike-Life relationship. It's a simple theory, that there is much that can be learnt from a bike ride and applied to your life.

The common notion among people is that life is laid out in front of you, like a road. You have to wait till the end to see what destiny has in store of you. It's like saying, life is a race-track and destiny is your chequered flag - just wait till you meet it and then move on till you meet the next one.

But, I think it's a little different. Infact, a lot different. Life isn't the road but it's your bike. It's in your hands and you must learn to take control of it. The road itself is the riding zone. You don't know what's going to come next and that's destiny. It makes the drive more interesting. There will be pit-falls to avoid and the shortcuts, which you can take with a little advance planning. Now, who put them there? Theists answer, God did it all, and atheists say its just luck or chance. At the end of the day, all that matters to you is how well you can chart out your life-story. There is more to it. The very idea of existance isn't like a race-track but more like the cruise mode in the city (obviously without the map!).

1. There is no start line and there is no finish line either. You just keep driving till you have fuel left.

2. Everybody starts at a different place and ends at a different place. The path you took is your history and in your hands, is the vehicle to create your future.

3. There is bound to be a very flashy looking car on either side of you thats going make your head turn. And getting jealous is just human. But I bet, even he desires some other car on the road and the chain goes on. At the end of the chain, is the guy in the most-desired car, but even he is still jealous. He is looking towars the skies.

4. It's important to learn from mistakes, but not necessarily your own. Look not only at the vehicle in front of you, but also try to judge the road by his ride.

5. And, beware of pitfalls - especially if you drive in Hyderabad or live your life anywhere in the world. 

6. It's inevitable to have a rough ride and when you are having one, learn to stand-up and loosely hold the handle. Tougher and riskier, it may seem, but it's going out to cushion out much of the roughness. You have got to develop your reflexes that way. And anyway, the bike-stunts have their own appeal which are known only to those who experience them.

7. Risk is part and parcel of existance. Every moment of your ride is a risk. And risk implies a possibility of failure. But when you do fail - RELAX. It's not the end of the world. Pick-up your bike and get going again. Most probably, its a just a stalled engine or sometimes not even that.

8. For sure, you must have come across some big guys who block your road and slow you down. You want to crush them like cockroaches but you can't, because they are the size of frozen Godzillas. The don't move and every time they try to take a step, they seem to kill people. I'm talking of the buses and trucks.

9. While there is a commonly accepted right-way and wrong-way, in reality, there is no right or wrong. It's just one big grey road. And, it's OK to break the so-called 'rule' but only as long as you are able to realistically make sure that you don't get into a mess. Learn to brake hard and control a slide (I learnt it the hard way). It comes in handy a lot of times. Better slow than mess it up.

10. Slow and steady does infact win the race. However unbelievable and against-plain-logic it may sound, it still holds true. I haven't yet been able to fully comprehend WHY?, but I have already mentioned in one of my earlier posts about how I used to take the same time of time to reach office on the Yamaha (on which I easily reached 80kmph) and the new Unicorn (which I never pushed beyond 60kmph). This holds very true for life as well, especially in the long run. But remember the keyword - "STEADY".

Now comes the controversial part.

11. Girls are lousy drivers. No! This is true, and it's a fact - Girls are lousy drivers. But, what's controversial is that they cause most of the accidents. While they never will accept that they are responsible for most of the accidents, its still true. If their lousy driving skills cause half the damage, they themselves and their dressing style cause the other half.

So much do I think on the way to office everyday that I treat it like my daily horoscope. Will I have a pleasant day or will someone mess it up for me? So next time I'm late somewhere, blame it all on my Beautiful Mind, the bloody Indian traffic and ofcourse - the Girls.