First couple of days with E63

It's an awesome feeling - to be connected to the web from your mobile, something that till yesterday had no more significance than a silly landline lying in the corner of the room, that we almost forgot even existed. (Except for the Tata Walky though - my mom makes full use of the free Tata-to-Tata calls feature.)

I had configured Fring application (for GTalk and Skype) and GMail on my phone and I had my phone connected to the net. I could now remain connected ON THE GO, but I wasn't going anywhere. Infact, I'm on leave the entire next week so I don't even have work till Jan 4th (which also reminds me to reveal to you that I would be revealing some VERY good news in early Jan.

And coming back, technically I was now prepared to reply instantly. I checked the Fring thing again - Yes, I was still connected as I could see all my online/offline friends. I refreshed GMail - it refreshed in under 3 sec but there was no new mail. 5 min later, I checked Fring again - I was still connected. I refreshed GMail again - still no new mails.

I did that about a 50 times (no exaggerations here) over the last 2 days and I realised that getting connected and staying on the web isn't enough. For someone with a lifestyle like mine, checking mails once a day was more than enough.

Afterall, there was more to life - which for me meant checking out Opera Mobile 10.2 Beta browser (which by the way, SUCKS!!)

First Post (from mobile)

Unless you have been living life deep in a forest totally unconnected with the world, you obviously would have heard the news... I took a new phone - a Nokia E63. Me (!!!) and a phone that costs in the 5-digit range.

When I decided that my old phone just wouldn't work any more and I needed a new one, I decided that I needed Wi-Fi and QWERTY keypad... and this was what I ended up with. (Obviously, this was the cheapest phone meeting my requirements, they don't make china phones with Wi-Fi :( I wish they did.. I would have then gotten a 3.5" touch-screen for half the price.)

As BAD as it gets

12am on the morning of 17th or night of 16th, whichever way you like to look at it, I decided to switch-off the light and go to bed as I was hardly able to even hold P.G.Wodehouse's Stiff Upper Lips in my hands. But 4 hrs later, I was still awake... Unfortunately all the stupid thoughts decided to enter my head the instant the room went dark. Don't know when I finally fell asleep.

Had to wake up by 7.45am as I had a call to take at 8.30am (these days we are having two Conference Calls everyday - one at 8.30am and another at 6.30pm.) Lack of sleep, low on energy and long, possibly boring presentations on the Agenda for the day made me lose all hope of having a good day. Only positive note was I planned to leave from Office quickly to meet a good, old friend.

5 min after waking up, I'm already shouting at my dad (for something really silly, obviously). Crappy start for a day. Bad omen to start the day on. And if I had had my way, I would slept again and woke up at 11am to make a fresh start to the day. But that wasn't to happen. So I took the call from home, reached office by 9.30.. only to realise that I had no mood to work. I was already looking forward to the evening. ;)

Work can't be done without laptops... lappys are useless without Internet... and Internet isn't complete without without Facebook... So I open Facebook, and the first thing I see is that some of my friends are attending a play on Saturday. I had nothing to do on Saturday, so booked myself for the play. Within the next 15 min, a couple more friends had replied on the thread and a conversation took off which also turned sour in 10 min and I made a comment about my friend (the one whom I was supposed to meet in the evening). My day continued to be bad and I was just dragging myself within the office. What a boring day! Little did I know how eventful my day was to become towards the end.

11.50am: I get a 'hate' sms from my dear friend, "If you don't want to meet me, then say it directly". I hate such threatening messages, especially when sent unprovoked. (okay, I accept, did spark the fire).

Noon to 3.30pm: Sloooow, dragging presentations with the Client. I hated him so much. Why did he have to visit our Office. Couldn't he too have just been on one of the Conference Calls as the others.

With our egos the size of Zeppelin's in the sky, especially mine being larger than an Airbus A380, by 5.30pm, the debate with my friend had reached unstable heights. And I didn't leave Office as I had originally planned.

By 7pm discussion is now on GTalk while the topic remains the same (silly, yes, but important too) when I have to am required in the call. 7.30pm I'm back but she isn't there anymore.

I go back home, have a couple of fights with my Mom and finish my dinner. All the while, checking my phone to see if she had left any reply (Around 8pm I had asked her if it was still possible to meet and discuss). No reply yet. Told you, ego... it had bloated to the size of Titanic by now. And mine was competing with Mt. Everest already. So I sat down to write my WORST (or best?) Hate-mail ever written. It was so insulting (mostly untrue and completely silly) that even I didn't read it twice. After drafting (rather randomly typing) for more than an hour, I click SEND at11.30pm exactly the time she pings me on GTalk again.

Don't know how the conversation was meant to take-off, but once she received my mail, I could feel missiles hitting my face through the screen. It seemed as if I had pressed KILL ME instead of SEND. She literally blasted me. Misunderstanding was everywhere. She didn't get the point of the mail, nor the names I called her. She thought I called her a prostitute. I didn't. I meant something more like a slut (she isn't, but I had to call her something. It's a Hate-mail, remember?).

The conversation, rather the (1482 lines of) argument continued till 2.50am on the morning of 18th (that is about 2 hrs back). Conclusion? Same as every argument, I was right and so was she. But acting like grown-ups, staying calm and pretending to be in total control of our selves, we decided that we would never speak again. And we split up like this -

me: watever makes you happy

Her: My happiness is not in hurting the other one

so let's be

me: eh ?

2:49 AM Her: I don't want to make you feel bad as those last days again

me: ok..

thnx for saying that :)

have a good night then...

2:50 AM Her: have a good night

me: bye

Her: bye anil

I was tired (carrying that Everest-sized ego now hurt me) and laid down to sleep. As I looked back at the evening, the first thought that struck me was "WHAT THE FUCK !!!". And as I went through the mail and the conversation again, the same thought struck me over and over again until my head start aching. And by 3.30am my head became clear(er) and my ego had reduced to the size of an Amoeba. But the damage done was still the size of that largest crater (wherever it is, I think Australia. But that's not the point here.)

Immediately I messaged her on the phone praying that she hadn't slept yet. She hadn't. Obviously. Feeling foolish like me maybe. No, she still happened to be in the shoes of the grown-up. So after texting for another hour, and still sticking to our ends of the conclusion of the argument we parted ways the second time (again never to meet again, ofcourse).

I tried sleeping. Obviously I couldn't because I'm here writing this post now. Actually within 10 min after laying down my throat started hurting. Maybe this was why I was having a hard time swallowing the consequences of my actions. I just couldn't do sleep. I had to write about this.

And now its 5.50am. I feel back at IIT, except that I didn't have to wake up at 8.30am to take a call back then. I'm definitely not going to work after waking up.

I'm going to try that mind-effect, whatever it's called. You concentrate with your mind and whatever you want happens. Magic, but not quite. So I'm going to concentrate my mind on my throat just so much that my voice gets distorted, but I don't get a tumour.

Adios, baby!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (continued)

The original post was written on Aug 2nd. A couple of excerpts from it:

"In all my life, I have never felt as lonely as I felt April to June when I changed my priorities and placed Work before Life. It didn't take long for my company to tell me it was a bad choice."

"And since July, I have been more in the Party mood. So, I have met a lot of new people but am yet to see how many would become my close friends."

They became VERY GOOD friends. So much so that I'm almost living at their home sometimes. I feel as if it's one big family... I feel back at IIT :) My life is now spelt as N-GAL and from the past 3-weeks, you can also add D (Deloitte) to it... that's right, I'm trying to work hard again.

I have got some exceptional friends-

One has got the World's Most Laidback Attitude. Never a concern about anything and way too optimistic (even if pushed down from a 5000m high cliff, he would be optimistic to survive). One fine morning he realised he didn't enjoy his work anymore and quit his job. He does nothing now, yet he is not troubled. He is happy and enjoying.

Another is so good that she would take whatever comes along her life with a smile. Absolutely no complaints/cribbing and no bitching either - even to her boy friend (and that's the problem he has with her - she never complains. He is like me too - sadly human.)

Yet another decided that these silly jobs weren't for him, so completely drowned himself into Research work. So much so that sometimes he says he feels lonely, but the love for his work again drags him out of it.

And now the climax, I saved her for the end.

SRK is her first love and Chemistry her second. She is totally into studies (teaching or studying), done some brilliant work already and impressed her Prof. so much that he would do anything to NOT lose her. Beside all this, she manages to watch every single SRK movie 50-times (including the deleted scenes), follow F1 and support Ferrari, watch Roger Federer break world records, anchor shows in her Univ. And apart from all this, she finds free time (but how?) to catch up with all her friends.

So when I look at myself in light of such AMAZING FRIENDS, I begin to fade away. And I think,

" God, I'm just SO human. "

Don't we bother about our friends?

I just came back from a party, and while checking my mails found a mail saying someone left a comment on one of my older posts. The post was about my friends and the comment left was "everybody wants a friend, nobody bothers to be one..." I know I'm no Rajdeep Sardesai that people I have never met follow my blog as well. My guess is I must be knowing this Mr./Ms. Anonymous pretty well (although there has been an instance before when I got a comment from a complete stranger) and this comment could well be a personal remark against me...

Anyway, when I read the comment... my first reaction to it was "Yeah, so true... We all know we shouldn't be like this, yet this is exactly how we are"... and next thought was "Not really".

Afterall, every single name I mentioned on that post meant something for me. They are all friends for life and each one of them would be special, forever. Just because their schedules changed, their priorities changed or because their life took a different path doesn't mean they aren't friends anymore. Just because I don't talk to them every single minute, just because I don't try to include them in every plan of mine, just because I don't give them daily status updates doesn't mean I don't bother to be friends with them anymore. Or does it?

Besides I realised that too many closest friends at the same time never works out. We also have to change our priorities with changing circumstances.

This post is a reply to my Mr./Ms. Anonymous friend of mine. Hopefully he/she would read this.