Yes, life sucks... I mean, MY life sucks.
I can't tell you how bad I'm feeling right now. Words evade me, more than they ever have. I have reached my personal limit and seem close to breaking any moment.
And this isn't because of the Bike Repair costs or the Hospital bill or anything financial at all. Nor is it about my right leg, that's become more a liability than an asset and shall remain so for the next 6 weeks.
It is because of all of the above put in the light of Past and Future (as I see it). You could say, Past, Present and Future together are screwing me. It's like the God of 4th Dimension - Time (I don't think we Indians have one, do the Greeks?) is fucking me left, right and center (to put in Indian Slang).
My bad luck has literally been following me like the ghost in The Shutter since beginning of December. I accept, I have a poor memory... but all I can still remember and only think of is how life should have been SO DIFFERENT. I had less than 48hrs of clear, happy time before I took the fall again, this time literally as well. And I can see what's in store for me in the Future till as ahead as March and all I see is 'More bad things await me'. Not bad things as bad things, but things that would make me sad. I'm sick and tired of these things. I HATE MY LIFE.
They say 'There is light at the end of the tunnel'. But my life is like driving in the tunnel on a moonless night with no headlamps. Only more darkness awaits me. And I can't wait for light (read sense, reasoning and/or practicality) to dawn, it's getting unbearably frustrating.
Hopefully tomorrow would mark an end to all this.
Go back to your older post - optimism and luck. though pessimistic, you're lucky. :)
ReplyDeleteactually, talking of Optimism.. did I hit a stone on a plain surface or did I hit 'just' one stone on a rocky surface... i can't just blindly say I was lucky.. If luck exists, then bad-luck too.. I don't believe they are the same as Light and Darkness..
ReplyDeleteI knw it sounds like its easier wen someone can say it without having to go through it n all, but really i dont believe in being lucky or unlucky...
ReplyDeleteits really n fully a result of wat wev done or not done...i think...
so wat to do wen down? or as u say feeling unlucky...just do wat u love the most...thr has to b ONE thing thtl bring u sheer happiness wont it? just do it! it works for me try tum bhi :)
"but my life is like driving in the tunnel on a moonless night with no headlamp"..
ReplyDeleteWell,,if you were in delhi,,there would be fog too! so maybe,,you were lucky!
quoting the great john travolta from Pelham123,,
ReplyDelete"The shit always hits you"!
So, no point getting worked up,,enjoy life,,and try to evade the shit!
@Mini: you got me totally wrong. I ain't unhappy 'coz I have nothing to do. I feel unlucky 'coz I'm unable to do the ONE thing that would make me happy for sure.
ReplyDelete@Adi: that was optimism at its practical best.