Would I ever be this famous?

While writing the earlier post, a thought came across my mind - What if I become real famous like Swami Vivekananda or Warren Buffet?

Do you think all my idle remarks will be added to the List of Most Famous Quotes, and my time-pass theories be taught in the Philosophy courses?

Do you think a day would come when 10th class students are asked in their History exam -

1. Who wrote the Bike-Life Relationship theory? (1 mark)

2. Describe any 5 relationships between a bike ride and life (5 marks). With examples (another 2 marks)

3. Who said, "I am so second grade in everything, even my blood group is B+" (1 mark)

4. Fill in the blanks: "Work is never a problem, _____ _____ is." (each blank 1 mark)

WOW. I'm already loving this thought and it makes me want to become "that famous" all the more. I wish that day comes and I'm still alive till then.

Afterall, what is the point if my name enters the History books and I'm not alive to read it and feel happy about. ;)

The Biker Theories

Everyday I have to go to office, its takes me anywhere between 30min to an hour, one way, to get there. Now, thats an awful lot of "idle" time to just sit and ride. So, I also do the one thing that I enjoy most and the only thing that I have done in my entire life - do nothing, just think. I let my mind wander and, everyday it stretches the limits of where-the-thoughts-could-possibly-go-to, generally in the philosophical space.

Now, they say "An idle brain is the Devil's workshop" but who knows, maybe the Devil is a great artist. Atleast, I like to believe the Devil in me is. It is on the bike that I've come up with some of my best "theories", the latest of which is The Bike-Life relationship. It's a simple theory, that there is much that can be learnt from a bike ride and applied to your life.

The common notion among people is that life is laid out in front of you, like a road. You have to wait till the end to see what destiny has in store of you. It's like saying, life is a race-track and destiny is your chequered flag - just wait till you meet it and then move on till you meet the next one.

But, I think it's a little different. Infact, a lot different. Life isn't the road but it's your bike. It's in your hands and you must learn to take control of it. The road itself is the riding zone. You don't know what's going to come next and that's destiny. It makes the drive more interesting. There will be pit-falls to avoid and the shortcuts, which you can take with a little advance planning. Now, who put them there? Theists answer, God did it all, and atheists say its just luck or chance. At the end of the day, all that matters to you is how well you can chart out your life-story. There is more to it. The very idea of existance isn't like a race-track but more like the cruise mode in the city (obviously without the map!).

1. There is no start line and there is no finish line either. You just keep driving till you have fuel left.

2. Everybody starts at a different place and ends at a different place. The path you took is your history and in your hands, is the vehicle to create your future.

3. There is bound to be a very flashy looking car on either side of you thats going make your head turn. And getting jealous is just human. But I bet, even he desires some other car on the road and the chain goes on. At the end of the chain, is the guy in the most-desired car, but even he is still jealous. He is looking towars the skies.

4. It's important to learn from mistakes, but not necessarily your own. Look not only at the vehicle in front of you, but also try to judge the road by his ride.

5. And, beware of pitfalls - especially if you drive in Hyderabad or live your life anywhere in the world. 

6. It's inevitable to have a rough ride and when you are having one, learn to stand-up and loosely hold the handle. Tougher and riskier, it may seem, but it's going out to cushion out much of the roughness. You have got to develop your reflexes that way. And anyway, the bike-stunts have their own appeal which are known only to those who experience them.

7. Risk is part and parcel of existance. Every moment of your ride is a risk. And risk implies a possibility of failure. But when you do fail - RELAX. It's not the end of the world. Pick-up your bike and get going again. Most probably, its a just a stalled engine or sometimes not even that.

8. For sure, you must have come across some big guys who block your road and slow you down. You want to crush them like cockroaches but you can't, because they are the size of frozen Godzillas. The don't move and every time they try to take a step, they seem to kill people. I'm talking of the buses and trucks.

9. While there is a commonly accepted right-way and wrong-way, in reality, there is no right or wrong. It's just one big grey road. And, it's OK to break the so-called 'rule' but only as long as you are able to realistically make sure that you don't get into a mess. Learn to brake hard and control a slide (I learnt it the hard way). It comes in handy a lot of times. Better slow than mess it up.

10. Slow and steady does infact win the race. However unbelievable and against-plain-logic it may sound, it still holds true. I haven't yet been able to fully comprehend WHY?, but I have already mentioned in one of my earlier posts about how I used to take the same time of time to reach office on the Yamaha (on which I easily reached 80kmph) and the new Unicorn (which I never pushed beyond 60kmph). This holds very true for life as well, especially in the long run. But remember the keyword - "STEADY".

Now comes the controversial part.

11. Girls are lousy drivers. No! This is true, and it's a fact - Girls are lousy drivers. But, what's controversial is that they cause most of the accidents. While they never will accept that they are responsible for most of the accidents, its still true. If their lousy driving skills cause half the damage, they themselves and their dressing style cause the other half.

So much do I think on the way to office everyday that I treat it like my daily horoscope. Will I have a pleasant day or will someone mess it up for me? So next time I'm late somewhere, blame it all on my Beautiful Mind, the bloody Indian traffic and ofcourse - the Girls.

"Romantic" Nik

I have been thinking from long to write a post about all the Friends in my life. But, as it turns out, I was too lazy to even get started on that :( But when I do, you would notice that Nik was one of my closest friends for about 6 years. And today, I saw a whole new side of Nik and i was inspired to write about it before I lost the zeal again.

Now, Nik is this ultra-chilled guy, who truly "lives life king-size". He would always follow his heart, but its a different issue that his heart never stays in one place. Funnily, today I saw him in a ROMANTIC mood, and it was so unlike the Nik I had known till yesterday. It was like, nik and NiK - same, yet different.

Nik, this girl  - Aar - and I were students of Ramaiah (IIT Coaching) and it was where Nik first saw her. I knew she was his first crush, but thats all I knew. Apparently today, 27th January, was her birthday and he called to wish her. He now claims, hearing her voice was what brought about this change in him today and I leave his story to be told by his own "romantic" quotes. His quotes are in Italics and my comments, where necessary have been mentioned in {}

since one year i've been waiting for this chance.. i realised it when i heard her voice.. her voice.. her sweet voice.. saying "heyyyyy!! hiiii!!!" oh boy! someone awakened me.. i want to go to Mumbai.. NOW {She is in Mumbai now, for her studies.}

she was my first crush.. you know.. i still couldn't understand why?  serious.. this is one mystery unsolved.. i used to get tensed whenever i got to see her... i felt it was something different.. my heart used to beat fast and faster.. 

i dont believe in love at first sight, but... wtf was THAT {I think this is the best of the lot}

i forgot who he is when i met a new character in myself, ME  {When I told him he reminded of SRK, this was his comment.}

romanticists express, editors modify..  {This was when I tried to correct something}

serious ga cheppali ante, i have no reason but i somehow like her ra.. endharo chala chepparu.. she is bad.. she has attitude ani.. but i find her simple and really really perfect..  {"Seriously, I have no reason but I somehow like her... have heard many things about her - she is bad, she has attitude... but i find her simple and really, really perfect.."}

unpadd ko kale akshar bhainse ke barabar hai!  {This was shot at me when I told him I couldn't understand his love story}

Sorry Niks, its not like I can't understand your feelings... it was just to pull your leg... And I really hope you find the dream girl of yours (before your heart jumps over to some other girl).

Another Trip back Home

Girls Vs Boys

About an year ago, I wrote a few conversations, fictional ofcourse, to magnify the difference between girls and boys. Going through it again after so long, I didn't like it and wanted to make a few changes. But me being ME, i effectively re-did the whole thing which I'm finally publishing to my blog. The text in the ( ) speaks the unspoken words.

Disclaimer:  1. Whatever I write below is next only to the words of God.

   2. No cribbing or suing me allowed

   3. Point 1 survives in case you break point 2.

   4. It's all purely a work of fiction. It may or may not be true (but I think it is) and it's resemblance to anyone, especially guys, is not coincidence but purely proof that he is a guy.

=============================================

VERY EARLY DAYS

{Boy to Boy} 

Boy_1: Abe aaj Girl_1 ko dekha? Kya lag rahi thi yaar.

Boy_2: Haan bey. woh toh hai hi maal.

{Boy to Girl}

Boy_1: Hi... what are you doing?

Girl_1: Nothing... ("Nothing that matters you")

FEW DAYS LATER

{Boy to Boy} 

Boy_2: kyu bey, any progress?

Boy_1: Yea, we speak almost daily now. We have grown pretty close. 

{Boy to Girl}

Boy_1: Hi... long time.. no see..

Girl_1: Yea.. was busy.. ("I didnt have any work with you.. So didn't bother talking to you.."). So, how are you doing?

A FEW DAYS LATER STILL

{Girl to Girl}

Girl_2: Hi babes. *A peck on the cheek* Howzza doing?

Girl_1: Hey honey. I am doing lovely.

Girl_2: Heard you and Boy_1 are seeing each other. *A naughty smile* (How dare you steal him, bitch?)

Girl_1: Aah, we have just been out a couple of times. He is a nice guy, great company.

Girl_2: That's nice. (Ofcourse, I know that. That's why I was with him before you stole him).

Girl_1: We were planning to meet sometime today. Where do you think we should go?

Girl_2: Why don't you try some disco or pubs. You know how guys are. Low neck, short skirt and a little attitude would do the trick. (Ahh, this would get interesting now. I know Boy_1 isn't a party animal and hates girls with attitude).

Girl_1: Aah, thanks babes.

Girl_2: Anytime honey.

{Boy to Boy}

Boy_2: Hey, I just heard that you are going to a disc with Girl_1 tonight. Is that true?

Boy_1: Yeah, I asked her to decide the place and she suggested a disc.

Boy_2: But you don't like parties na.

Boy_1: Yeah, but I like party animals. Kaam jaldi ho jaata hai *wink* Told you we have become very close now. I think she loves me. Maybe I should propose soon.

Boy_2: Wow. That's cool, man. And did you check out Elisha Cuthbert's latest video?

Boy_1: which one?

blah blah blah...

THAT NIGHT

{Girl to Boy} -- he has just dropped her home. Both are equally drunk.

Girl_1/Boy_1: A tight hug, a long, warm kiss. So not much talking done.

Boy_1: (Thank God, she is so drunk. She wouldn't have done this if she wasn't. She is going to wake up tomorrow morning thinking it was all a dream.)

Girl_1: (Hmm, I'm loving it. Thank God, my parents aren't home.)

He finally leaves. And within 5 min, she calls him.

{Girl to Boy}

Girl_1: Hiiiiii.  :*

Boy_1: Hey hiii

Girl_1: Gosh, I'm missing you already.

Boy_1: You want me to come back. *A grin on his face, a wish in his heart but still trying to make it sound like a joke*

Girl_1: Haha. No, it's OK. You carry on.

Boy_1: Ohh, no worries. I can come back.

Girl_1: So sweet. I love you. But you carry on. You're already getting very late. (ek aur bakra)

Boy_1: Love you too, babes.

Girl_1: So, aur batao.

and the conversation continues for a few hours till one of them simply drops asleep.

NEXT MORNING

{Boy to Boy}

Boy_1: (Aah, my head aches. But, what a night. It still seems like a dream.)

Boy_2: Hey! How was your night?

Boy_1: It was awesome man. And guess what, she said "I love you" first.

Boy_2: Awesome, lucky you.

Boy_1: Did you watch the next episode of Prison Break? I heard it's too good.

blah, blah, blah.

{Girl to Girl}

Girl_1: (Aah, my head aches. But, what a night. It still seems like a dream.)

Girl_2: Hey! How was your night?

Girl_1: It was pretty good. But he was being a little too proactive.

Girl_2: (What a loser, he is). Hmm, so you planning to proceed any further?

Girl_1: Naah, he doesn't smell good. I don't think he is the right guy for me.

Girl_2: Yeah.

blah, blah, blah.

NEXT WEEK

{Boy to Boy}

Boy_2: Hey, buddy. Howz it going?

Boy_1: Chatting with Girl_3.

Boy_2: Ohh, is she the new girl in our class? What's up with Girl_1?

Boy_1: Would you believe it, she says we were just friends.

Boy_2: But you said she loved you.

Boy_1: Yeah, now she says she loved me as a friend. (???)

Boy_2: (???) What does that mean?

Boy_1: I don't know. And I bet even she doesn't either.

Boy_2: Hmm, mind if I try her?

Boy_1: Nopes, here is her id - devil.in.disguise@GoogleTalk. And her phone number is 900xxx2365. But don't let her know I gave you her details.

Boy_2: No, never.

{Girl to Girl}

Girl_1: Boy_3 was looking so hot today.

Girl_2: Yeah, he was. (Not again, you bitch. I'm trying for him this time).

Girl_1: And you know what Girl_4 did yesterday? She was with Boy_3 the whole day. That slut.

Girl_2: (What? Even she is in the line?) She is one.

and the bitching continues.

=============================================

Do not try to read too much from the above fictional conversations. But just know that they were loosely based on the following (facts?):

1) Guys always take the lead in approaching girls. But after the ice has been broken, the girl takes the lead and leads him all the way to the end of the cliff before dumping him.

2) Leave 4 girl friends in a room and 4 guys in another room, for one whole day. By the end of the day, the 4 girls would be fighting and the 4 guys would become friends however diverse their interests are.

3) Guys, by default, have an unadulterated mind and hence, are very easy to understand. All they care about is FUN, in the form of booze, toys (cars, superbikes, etc.) and definitely Girls. On the other hand, Girls are so complex to understand I can't write anything here.

4) As my friend once put it, "Guys fall in whatever-they-call-it (love) many times". True, guys follow equality and love every decent girl they come across. On the contrary,  girls have friends, close friends, even closer friends, a little more closer than even closer friends, a little more closer than even that, and so on and on. But they never really love anybody.